Do any of you ever get depressed at times or have this feeling of hopelessness? I don't know if it's a result of me being an Aspies'... but I feel like I'm going to be 26 in August and it's like life has pretty much all but passed me by. I never kept friendships for long in high school, college, and the early work years regardless of how outgoing I tried to be. I was bullied and treated like crap often, and my parents overlooked it all and just made me do nothing but study, study, study. They told me that I would have it easier when I grew up.
Well now I'm grown up and I ask, is this all I have to look forward to? Is this what I sacrificed my childhood for? If it is, I feel like I don't even belong on this earth. I feel like I was tricked by my POS parents who never wanted what was best for me. I missed out on that first love, friendships, etc. all because all I was told to do was study study study. Now all I do, even though my life is "ok" rather than "terrible" back then, is work, go home, play Pokemon or program. I barely talk to anyone anymore. I have a few online friends and that's about it.
I also am financially well, but that might change if the market keeps crashing as it is.
I want a reset button. At times I wish I had a time machine to go back to when I was 13, with what I knew, and I could tell my parents how right I was that all that sacrifice was IN VAIN.
Yeah I know a lot of my bullies in high school are sort of struggling right now (keyword sort of) and a lot of my "friends" then who turned on me are living paycheck to paycheck, and I'm expected to be thankful for that. Except they can be happy, because they have friends and a support group around them. I do not.
I hate myself.
Well now I'm grown up and I ask, is this all I have to look forward to? Is this what I sacrificed my childhood for? If it is, I feel like I don't even belong on this earth. I feel like I was tricked by my POS parents who never wanted what was best for me. I missed out on that first love, friendships, etc. all because all I was told to do was study study study. Now all I do, even though my life is "ok" rather than "terrible" back then, is work, go home, play Pokemon or program. I barely talk to anyone anymore. I have a few online friends and that's about it.
I also am financially well, but that might change if the market keeps crashing as it is.
I want a reset button. At times I wish I had a time machine to go back to when I was 13, with what I knew, and I could tell my parents how right I was that all that sacrifice was IN VAIN.
Yeah I know a lot of my bullies in high school are sort of struggling right now (keyword sort of) and a lot of my "friends" then who turned on me are living paycheck to paycheck, and I'm expected to be thankful for that. Except they can be happy, because they have friends and a support group around them. I do not.
I hate myself.
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