Dealing with upsurges of embarrassing memories

[Christian T]

I have this frustrating tendency to recall painfully humiliating social blunders when I'm trying to sleep, when I'm home alone or any other time when I'm by myself and there's very few distractions. Lately, I've found myself just saying out loud "shut the f#ck up" (wasn't sure if I needed to censor that) without even thinking about it, and then the buildup of anxiety just instantly dissipates. I know that swearing can be an effective relief from pain, and now that I've learnt about linguistics at school my prejudices against swearing have been swept away - in the right contexts, I have no problem with it.

Anyway, does anyone find that they have to deal with similar onsets of anxiety caused by memory, and does anyone, by any chance, deal with them in a similar way?

I was just curious.

 

[Sparticus]

Yeah...wow I have the same thing! Especially at night or when I'm home alone. I should be a TV announcer...instead of announcing a football game "Jim did you see him fumble that ball?!" I could give a blow by blow of how I f*cked up situations from the past few days or 10 years ago. "Should he or shouldn't he have been that kind with ___?" I mean I need a stop watch to tell me when to shut up with people who I get happy to talk to...

Interupting this thought pattern anyway is good. Whether thru cursing or another way. I don't know, I overanalyse social blunders. If I can get on the phone & bother someone about problems I've having, that helps. Course most people uhm might run away if I complain too much. But at night, aaahhhh that's a problem.

Can't call a lot of people late at night & over thinking can interupt our sleep patterns. I'd love to see what others think about this. After I've analysed something, tortured myself enough, sometimes I'll think it's unhealthy & I need to move forward. Course then after some time goes by perhaps another thought/memory of a social blunder occurs...and the pattern above repeats. Staying busy, exercise, reading & as you mentioned interupting our thoughts helps me.

Not sure if I've helped. This is something I need to work on. Really good thread.

 

[MoCoffee]

I also have obsessive thoughts about my "failures" when I try to sleep, so I watch online documentaries or movies until I start to nod off. It doesn't always work, which is why I have some nights when I don't sleep at all, but it does help most of the time.


:sleep:

 

[Aspieistj]

I recently started a similar thread regarding memory torture. There is some evidence that a diminished amount of available serotonin can cause these thoughts and I talked with my medical doctor about it. She increased my Prozac (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) and I really feel better. Now if I start replaying painful memories and I realize I am doing it, I get good results simply by making an effort to concentrate on something positive. I hope this improvement lasts.

 

[Christian T]

Thanks for the advice guys.

I usually wait until I really am sleepy before going to bed, but this isn't always practical, especially since I'm a teenager. I will try your suggestions though.

It's so irritating when these torturous recollections surface because I feel that my only way of having complete closure would be to talk it over with the people in question. A few times I have tried to do this, but I usually find that they cannot even remember the moment I ask them about. So, sometimes when I have these recollections, I try to remind myself that the other people have probably forgotten about it entirely.

Does anyone also find themselves sometimes replaying the social interactions that worked well for you, as though to give yourself praise for the times that you've succeeded at socialising?