kris
Well-Known Member
People always ask me "You're so pretty, why are you single?" Sigh.
I've never really dated before at all.. in high school, I wasn't technically "allowed" to date, but my parents needn't have worried.. nobody ever asked me. College was more of the same until I met someone online and carried on a long-term long-distance relationship that ended up in marriage. That lasted 4 long years.
I've since been divorced for 5 years. I had one fairly longish "relationship" with an old college friend. And I use the term relationship pretty loosely. But it worked just fine for me.
I've been completely single for well over a year.. dated some people I met locally at dog parks, running groups, bars, etc.. mostly just awkward first dates. Which is fine.. I get not having chemistry. No hard feelings there.
But it's the people I do click with that I have such a hard time with. Things seem to go really well at first for a few weeks maybe. And then it just seems to fall apart and they kind of disappear. And I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong. On guy after about 2 months told me he had a brain tumor and moved to a different state and unfriended me on FB. Second guy after like 3 weeks told me he wanted to join the FBI. Am I really not getting signals that they aren't interested to the point they need to make up stories? I don't call on the phone and I don't think I text too often.. I might obsess over things in my head but I'm smart enough not to text all the time.
Anyways, I'm kind of worried it's about to happen again. Guy met on OKC 4 weeks ago.. we saw each other a couple times a week at first, texted back and forth a lot...lots to talk about, lots of chemistry. I went to Thanksgiving dinner with his friends. He had been busy with work prior to Thanksgiving but said he'd have more time to spend with me afterwards. Then got busy on another job and we've hardly talked at all. Saw each other a week ago and I was hoping we'd get together this weekend before Christmas but he said he's visiting his grandma tomorrow and then his mom is in town for a week and my dad is in town too so it will probably be new year until I see him again. Which honestly is fine with me but he takes forever to text back now. Like the next day. He says he's busy and writing (he's a writer/editor) but he posts on social media in the meantime so it's not like his phone is off. Is "busy" just codeword for isn't interested anymore? When he does respond he seems interested still but it takes forever. I'm trying to keep myself busy with projects to keep myself from obsessing but it's so hard.
Sorry for the long rant. I am just so frustrated. I have NT friends who say dating is hard, but I feel like they really have no idea how hard it is for someone like me who really has a hard time understanding people plus has no dating experience. I feel like I need an instruction book for boys! Either that or one for how girls are supposed to act.
I've never really dated before at all.. in high school, I wasn't technically "allowed" to date, but my parents needn't have worried.. nobody ever asked me. College was more of the same until I met someone online and carried on a long-term long-distance relationship that ended up in marriage. That lasted 4 long years.
I've since been divorced for 5 years. I had one fairly longish "relationship" with an old college friend. And I use the term relationship pretty loosely. But it worked just fine for me.
I've been completely single for well over a year.. dated some people I met locally at dog parks, running groups, bars, etc.. mostly just awkward first dates. Which is fine.. I get not having chemistry. No hard feelings there.
But it's the people I do click with that I have such a hard time with. Things seem to go really well at first for a few weeks maybe. And then it just seems to fall apart and they kind of disappear. And I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong. On guy after about 2 months told me he had a brain tumor and moved to a different state and unfriended me on FB. Second guy after like 3 weeks told me he wanted to join the FBI. Am I really not getting signals that they aren't interested to the point they need to make up stories? I don't call on the phone and I don't think I text too often.. I might obsess over things in my head but I'm smart enough not to text all the time.
Anyways, I'm kind of worried it's about to happen again. Guy met on OKC 4 weeks ago.. we saw each other a couple times a week at first, texted back and forth a lot...lots to talk about, lots of chemistry. I went to Thanksgiving dinner with his friends. He had been busy with work prior to Thanksgiving but said he'd have more time to spend with me afterwards. Then got busy on another job and we've hardly talked at all. Saw each other a week ago and I was hoping we'd get together this weekend before Christmas but he said he's visiting his grandma tomorrow and then his mom is in town for a week and my dad is in town too so it will probably be new year until I see him again. Which honestly is fine with me but he takes forever to text back now. Like the next day. He says he's busy and writing (he's a writer/editor) but he posts on social media in the meantime so it's not like his phone is off. Is "busy" just codeword for isn't interested anymore? When he does respond he seems interested still but it takes forever. I'm trying to keep myself busy with projects to keep myself from obsessing but it's so hard.
Sorry for the long rant. I am just so frustrated. I have NT friends who say dating is hard, but I feel like they really have no idea how hard it is for someone like me who really has a hard time understanding people plus has no dating experience. I feel like I need an instruction book for boys! Either that or one for how girls are supposed to act.