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Dating: How can I get a girlfriend?

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Judge

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I don’t want my detractors to think I’ve given up.
It's your life. Not a contest to prove anything to anyone.

You really do need to put distance between such people in as much as is possible. Starting with refusing to discuss the matter with them in particular. Like our autism, it may be best to keep your personal life to yourself.

Adopt a new tactic: Don't be afraid to tell them that it's none of their business!
 

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
I really wish dating didn’t feel so far out of my ability. The longer I go without any experience, the less likely it feels like I will ever have a girlfriend.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
So that girl who had the pregnancy scare, you guys
didn't date/go places recreationally? What did you do?
Just hang out and have sex?
 

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
We had dinner at a restaurant and spent Valentine’s Day together. We also met up at support group meetings.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
Dinner at a restaurant sounds like a date, to me.

Support group meeting meet-ups, not sounding like dates.

What did you do on Valentine's Day together?
 

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
We exchanged gifts if I remember correctly, may have listened to music and or watched some videos, and cuddled.
 

tree

Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
That sounds like a date, too.

Dates don't have to be formal affairs, attending a public venue.
 

Gerontius

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
We exchanged gifts if I remember correctly, may have listened to music and or watched some videos, and cuddled.
Cuddling does not usually contribute to a pregnancy. Coitus, on the other hand--

Dates definitely don't have to be formal. My girlfriend & I don't really "do" formal dates. We have enjoyed hanging out at:
--church
--a trip to the swap-meet to look at some spare parts
--bird watching
--a park bench with a nice view
--hiking trips
--a picnic
--a couple cheap breakfast joints
--a derelict steam-locomotive
--a hydroelectric dam, which was our best date by a dam site
--a library
--a hammock
--a dirt floor shack in the middle of a pine forest.

All this stuff is more on the lines of two friends just hanging out. Works for us--and it's pretty simple and straightforward, so it leaves both of us plenty of time to leave if we want to call the relationship off. Now that part hasn't worked. Same girl since middle of last year, and she still won't leave, so it looks like I'm stuck with her (and she is very nice so I think that is OK with me.)

Do not limit yourself by what you think, what others think, what others think you think, what you think others think. Just go on ahead & experiment a little.

Lot easier to enjoy these kinds of dates if you confine your recreation to being clothed, in public, and in daylight hours. Much simpler & cheaper & it keeps away child support.
 

Slightly

Active Member
V.I.P Member
All my romantic relationships grew from friendships. Find things you want to do and go do them. Make friends as you can (I know that presents it's own set of problems) and see what happens.
 

Markness

Young God
V.I.P Member
All my romantic relationships grew from friendships. Find things you want to do and go do them. Make friends as you can (I know that presents it's own set of problems) and see what happens.
The biggest problem I have in this regard is that I am an outsider in what’s supposed to be my culture. I’ve also lost female friends due to them dating men who didn’t want them to have male friends.
 

Slightly

Active Member
V.I.P Member
The biggest problem I have in this regard is that I am an outsider in what’s supposed to be my culture. I’ve also lost female friends due to them dating men who didn’t want them to have male friends.
Yeah. Me too. Still, I got nothing better than find fun stuff and go do it. Sorry, wish I had the answer.
 

foliodoe

I'm living my whole life at once.
I've been in serious long-term romantic relationships before and I honestly have no idea how I ever made that happen. I've been single for over a year now and I don't know where to begin now that I'm starting over.
 

foliodoe

I'm living my whole life at once.
Yeah that's difficult. I'm single now after being in a relationship for many years and I don't know how to start over.
Have others shown an interest in you?
It's pretty easy to connect with others online from apps or social media, etc. But then when they want to actually "meet," I lose interest because none of them really seem that intriguing or attractive to me. I'm not excited about meeting any of them. On the other hand, it seems like I fumble every time I actually do encounter someone I want to meet. What's your experience been like?
 
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