dating and relationship

[inabox]

I only have a quick question and I am hoping someone can help me.

What is the difference between dating someone and having a relationship with someone.

I have had relationships before and I know that is what they were. But i don't know if they would also be called dating as well. Are they the same thing?

I know if you go on a date it can involve no intimacy at all and usually with a relationship there is intimacy. But dating can have that too... or maybe it can't??

It's very complicated

 

[NTgirl4276]

I'll preface this by saying that I think all the different terms are a little silly, but since I live in a linguistic culture that uses them with such frequency, I guess it's fairly important that I at least be able to articulate some basic distinction between them. so, here goes:

I use "dating" when I'm spending time with someone on a regular basis, with the mutually understood goal of fostering a romantic or sexual relationship.

I use "in a relationship" when, after dating for however long, the person I'm dating and I decide together that we would like to continue to grow closer (in a romantic relationship, usually accompanied by sexual activities, though NOT just a sexual relationship) without the distraction of other dating partners.

I only make this distinction, of course, in the context of romantic/sexual associations. overall, I think all human interactions are "relationships" (ie. friendships, families, etc.) insofar as relationship means "humans relating to other humans."

I tend not to use "intimacy" as a barometer for relationship progression. I've been in some where intimacy occurred very early, and others where intimacy occurred much later, if at all.

..... I hope this made any sense at all.

 

[On the Inside]

I agree with the statement that all interactions are relationships, at least those that are ongoing. And I think the distinction between dating and a romantic relationship is that the former may lead to the latter, dating can also lead to a friendship, sex only physical relationship, what ever else. Depends on the intentions of those involved.

I personally feel that once physical intimacy is involved, it is a Relationship (ie. exclusive, serious). But I am maybe a bit old-fashioned, and this has probably caused me to get tangled up in relationships that were not good for me. After things got intimate, I felt like I had made a commitment, even if I hadn't actually said that I was committed, or that that was my intention. I didn't think that after that point, I could still break things off. Ugh.

 

[Beverly]

To me, dating means seeing each other often, getting to know each other, possible even having sex but, either is free to see other people and/or to move on at any time.

A relationship, in this context, means the couple has agreed to a set of rules, be that going steady, being exclusive, having an ongoing open relationship or, whatever it is they decide works for them. I see it as a commitment, not a traditional one because not all marriage need to be traditional so, relationships do not need to be traditional unless that is what the parties involved have agreed on.

I have learned that any relationship can be broken, easier than most would like to think, be that simply breaking up, getting a divorce or annulment, or nullifying or flat out breaking a contract in a business relationship ( unrelated to dating type relationships but, still a relationship.) I don't like it but, that seems to be the way of the world today, if it doesn't work for whatever reasons, you don't have to try, just end the relationship.

That puts more pressure on those of us that are not 100% socially adept and makes love, dating and marriage a frightening prospect.

 

[inabox]

Thanks for the replies.

Does anyone know if there would be any clue when it has moved from "dating" to "being in a (romantic) relationship"?

I have found that having a (romantic) relationship with an AS guy is relatively easy to deal with because they understood if i didn't understand, and a lot of the time understood that i wasn't going to understand something before it happened because they knew i thought like they did. It seems AS guys are quite difficult to find [emoji17]

 

[On the Inside]

I have only been aware well after the fact, the other parties have moved along much faster than I have been aware of. So for me, a sure sign is when they are moving in.

 

[Mark August]

I only have a quick question and I am hoping someone can help me.

What is the difference between dating someone and having a relationship with someone.

I have had relationships before and I know that is what they were. But i don't know if they would also be called dating as well. Are they the same thing?

I know if you go on a date it can involve no intimacy at all and usually with a relationship there is intimacy. But dating can have that too... or maybe it can't??

It's very complicated

My response is that Dating means your free to see other people. More casual.

Relationship, well in my book, it had better be exclusive, otherwise.

Look at it this way. All Relationships are like being on a see-saw. If they move closer, you move closer. If they move away, you move away. This keeps the see-saw in balance.

Anyway, James Dobson explains it much better than I could.

Hope that helps.

 

[Judge]

Perhaps it would be easier to simply define dating in a modern context as a euphemism for specifically intended romantic and/or sexual encounters lacking a universal expectation of fidelity.

Conversely that a "relationship" has an implied expectation of fidelity, whether it exists or not. Unless otherwise addressed by all concerned parties.

With one caveat common to both conditions. That there's never a guarantee of fidelity.

 

[Beverly]

I have always asked the other person "So, are we serious now?" if they say "yes" it's a relationship and, we have things we need to negotiate as we establish the rules. If they say "no" then we are still just dating.

 

[Slithytoves]

Does anyone know if there would be any clue when it has moved from "dating" to "being in a (romantic) relationship"?

It's often a combination of little things. Routines start to develop, you become each other's go-to person with news and problems, you stop being so careful around each other about things like shaving/wearing makeup/dressing a certain way, you may start to leave small things at each other's places, affection becomes more open and casual, phone calls become more spontaneous, things like that. A general sense of familiarity and continuity sets in.

Another good sign is when your partner starts introducing you to other people in their world.

If you have a hard time detecting some of these signals, there really isn't any harm in asking for a weather report. This could be intimidating if you're not sure how the other person is feeling, but you can wait for a moment when it feels right to ask, and/or you can do it in a lighthearted way at a time when you're both in a good mood and having fun, so it doesn't seem like a Big Question.

 

[Maelstrom]

I only have a quick question and I am hoping someone can help me.

What is the difference between dating someone and having a relationship with someone.

I have had relationships before and I know that is what they were. But i don't know if they would also be called dating as well. Are they the same thing?

I know if you go on a date it can involve no intimacy at all and usually with a relationship there is intimacy. But dating can have that too... or maybe it can't??

It's very complicated

Dating is really where 2 people decide to spend some time together getting to know eachother so they can decide if they like eachother enough to court. During dating you want to find out if the person you are interested in is nice, willing to live the way you wish more or less, shares enough of your values, shares enough interests or goals that you can be good company for eachother, and there are no major bad deal breaker things hiding. In courting you are focusing more on how well you can both communicate and please eachother on more intimate stuff this doesn't require sex but a good match on romancing styles can be important a warm person with a cold fish can end badly etcetera...
I will disagree with NTgirl a little sorry! NTgirl, intimacy and passion are not the same thing, even tho they offten come together. My ex-girlfriend was willing to suck my face off sometimes, but she never was willing to be close and trusting...to let her guard down and tell me what she really needed or wanted...to this day I really have no idea who she really was, which is quiet sad as we almost got married. I think allot of people confuse these 2 things, they have torrid hot affairs thinking it is intimate romance, but they end up parting as almost total strangers, never really ever having opened up to eachother at all. Getting to really know some one and building trust and feeling is having a relationship this applies to friends and romance.

 

[SurvivalCyclist]

I'll preface this by saying that I think all the different terms are a little silly, but since I live in a linguistic culture that uses them with such frequency, I guess it's fairly important that I at least be able to articulate some basic distinction between them. so, here goes:

I use "dating" when I'm spending time with someone on a regular basis, with the mutually understood goal of fostering a romantic or sexual relationship.

I use "in a relationship" when, after dating for however long, the person I'm dating and I decide together that we would like to continue to grow closer (in a romantic relationship, usually accompanied by sexual activities, though NOT just a sexual relationship) without the distraction of other dating partners.

I only make this distinction, of course, in the context of romantic/sexual associations. overall, I think all human interactions are "relationships" (ie. friendships, families, etc.) insofar as relationship means "humans relating to other humans."

I tend not to use "intimacy" as a barometer for relationship progression. I've been in some where intimacy occurred very early, and others where intimacy occurred much later, if at all.

..... I hope this made any sense at all.

so everyone i date is NT but i get stood up alot or lead on ofcourse i dated online for ever seems a good way to meet and never meet in person i have standards and i very outgoing i think i perfer NT only dated one fellow aspie i also need someone who will spend alot of time i loved your post thanks

 

[SurvivalCyclist]

I only have a quick question and I am hoping someone can help me.

What is the difference between dating someone and having a relationship with someone.

I have had relationships before and I know that is what they were. But i don't know if they would also be called dating as well. Are they the same thing?

I know if you go on a date it can involve no intimacy at all and usually with a relationship there is intimacy. But dating can have that too... or maybe it can't??

It's very complicated

wow! i never noticed someone could find that confusing its just normal dating and friend realtionships are very different for me

 

[pineman93]

Can any one give me advice on how i would go about having/creating a friendship/realtionship

 

[pineman93]

Thank you do you know where to look or have any ideas where i can find people with similar interest