Corrupt A Wish

[Aneka]

Granted but now you're too tall for your place.


I wish I could turn my music up as loud as I wanted

Granted, but now you're dead.


I wish I'd own a bank.

 

[Slim Jim]

Granted. You own a Bank. It's very profitable. But It's in Mexico. A group of armed gunmen storm the place. You are held hostage. You press the panic button, in a a vain attempt to alert authorities. Being Mexico, the buzzer is broke, and besides that, the police have been bribed and are outside aiding and assisting the robbers. Long story short. Everybody dies in a big shootout. The End.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Ouch.

Granted. Lego prices drop. But only because a scientific investigation finds that the plastics used contain extremely toxic chemicals that cause birth defects and impotence.

I wish I had a....had a...uh... Ferarri F40. It must be red now!

Granted. The car was originally white but now it’s completely red on account of all the blood from the crash that instantly splattered you and the dozens of people you ran over because the car had no brakes....

I wish it was November!

 

[Aneka]

Granted. The car was originally white but now it’s completely red on account of all the blood from the crash that instantly splattered you and the dozens of people you ran over because the car had no brakes....

I wish it was November!

Granted, you have now been arrested by the Time Variance Authority.

They put you in a cell, floating in between dimensions, existing beyond space and time.

I'd like to own a Pacific Island.

 

[maycontainthunder]

Due to an geographic error by the vendor the island you own is located in the Sunda Strait. The problem is it's 1883 and the island's pet volcano Krakatoa is just about to erupt...

I wish for double choc chip ice cream.

 

[blue_bird]

You've just been given a choc chip ice cream, but suddenly you get vertigo. You start seeing double and your choc chip ice cream becomes double choc chip ice cream. You also feel nauseous so you don't eat your ice cream.

I wish I owned a luxury yacht.

 

[maycontainthunder]

Your yacht is beautiful but it has decided to pay a visit to the Bermuda Triangle without you....

I wish for cake.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. It was baked by GlaDOS and so is a lie!

I wish I had a cupcake.

 

[blue_bird]

Granted you get an uneaten cupcake which came from an abandoned house in Chernobyl.

I wish I had a superpower

 

[maycontainthunder]

Granted. You now have the power to make your toenails grow at ten times the normal rate.

I wish for ice cream

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but it's really just a frozen chicken nugget.

I wish the weather would cool down.

 

[maycontainthunder]

Granted. We're now in a global -40 ice age.

I wish for cheaper graphics cards.

 

[blue_bird]

Granted you are transported back to the 1990's

I wish I had a PS5

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. Elmo from Sesame Street hands you a giant P, S, and 5!

I wish I had a new laptop!

 

[maycontainthunder]

Granted but it is new old stock. It was made in 1990.

I wish to try extra strong chilli sauce.

 

[FlowerFlo]

Granted everthing you will eat from now will be covered in it.

I wish for less plastic polluting

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted. All the plastic on earth is no longer polluting anything. It is now neatly stacked and sorted in every closet in your house.

I wish I could go on a cruise.

 

[Alaric593]

Granted. But you caught the norovirus, ate bad sushi and your cabin toilet stopped flushing.

I wish I could eat beef without the negative consequences.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Granted, now you can eat beef without the negative consecuences because I have genetically modified all of them into mutant cebras whose meat is as healthy as eating salad.

Unlukily you are alergic to mutant Zebras.

I wish the world to turn even worse.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Pshaw, What ever, Gloomy Gus. I just wished for the world to be perfect, so there!

I wish for the world to be better than perfect.