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Corrupt A Wish

You have an endless supply of Gatorade, but drinking it too frequently makes you morbidly obese and you have to be lifted out of bed with a crane, due to the fact.

I wish I could enjoy sugary drinks without immediately starting to gain weight.
 
Granted, but every one you drink makes you lose weight, until eventually you're so thin that a strong breeze blows you away and you end up stuck in the top of a tree like a sad kite until the firefighters bring you down.

I wish I had one of those cute 1920s hats
 
Your wish is granted. But you get very annoyed, because everywhere you go, people pull your cute little 20s hat off of your head, thank you for the fruit basket, and then put the hat on a table, filling it with bananas, grapes, and oranges.

I wish my knees liked me.
 
Granted, but now your knees are sentient, with their own thoughts and opinions, and also they can speak. And also, one of them is a Communist and the other's a Libertarian. And they keep you up at 2am arguing about politics.

I wish I knew how to do a cartwheel
 
Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, a cartwheel is all you know how to do now. All day, everyday. Even in your sleep.

I wish I had a pair of ballet flats.
 
Granted. A flat is what they call a small apartment in England, right? So now you have a couple of small apartments in London that you have to share with a bunch of ballerinas.

I wish I had my own nice little studio
 
Your wish is granted. I hear the beaches are quite sunny in both Venezuela and Iran. Your choice!

I wish my hair required less detangling.
 
Granted, you are in the middle of a psychotic break where you see all eels all the time.

I wish I could go scuba diving.
 
Your wish is granted. But you wake up 100 years later, with an ankle length beard, and for some reason everyone is chiding you for sleeping through important political events.

I wish I could be the governor of my state.
 
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