Corrupt A Wish

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but it's from yo mama.

I wish I had a hug.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You get a nice hug from Bewear!

https://scientificpokedex.tumblr.com/page/8

I wish it wasn’t raining so much

 

[cooljethro]

Granted. There is little rain, but what little rain there is, is acid rain.

I wish I could could fly a private jet.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Wish granted, you can fly a private jet. You're good at it, and you have a lot of fun. The only thing is, it doesn't belong to you and now you have to face some serious federal prison time.

I wish we weren't out of hot water.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but now all your water is hot. You go to the sink for a drink? Enjoy a nice steamy glass of water.

I wish it wasn't so chilly in the house

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but now it's super chilly outside. Six feet of ice.

I wish that diabetics could drink fruit juice all the time.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but now you have the physiology of a hummingbird and must drink your weight in sweet liquids every day to live.

I wish I had a big bottle of lemonade

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

granted, but it's powdered lemon drink. kool aide.

I wish I had a big bowl of green jello just for me.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted, but you receive it via the jello falling on your head from a 3rd story window.

I wish I had a million dollars.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Granted, but they pay it to you in pennies. 100 pennies a day. Eventually if you save it up, you'll have your million.

I wish I had a couple hours on a jacuzzi yacht.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted. But the boat hits a random iceberg in the middle of the river, and now you have to cosplay Titanic: Lazy River in March edition.

I wish I could go to a tropical island

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Your wish is granted. The tropical island is called Haiti. Long live Jambi.


I wish I had my own pickup truck.

 

[negative-speedforce]

Granted. But it's a weird scrapyard hybrid between a pickup truck and the front half of a Trabant.

I wish I could go to the BTS concert

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Your wish is granted. BTS is short for Backstreet Boys/ Twisted Sister. It is a fusion band where they sing boy band songs to hair metal rhythms in really ugly makeup and dresses.

I wish I had a log of goat cheese and some crackers.