Completely absurd questions that NTs tend to ask

[onlything]

Hopefully a teasing/lighthearted thread. What was the most absurd question(in a funny/frustrating way) that NTs(or other people) have ever asked you? Or any other silly/frustrating experience concerning them in your life?

Let me start, maybe.

I remember, when I was still in school, once some girls (that normally ignored me and kept as far away from me as physically possible) cornered me in a bathroom of all places with strict faces... And asked me what am I eating?
The thing was, since I was in a bathroom, I obviously wasn't eating anything at all. That would be rather unhygienic. So it went like this:
T(hem): What are you eating?
M(e): Nothing..?
T: (with an annoyed grunt) Not now, dumbass, normally!
M: Normally..?
T: Yes, what do you normally eat?!
M: ...? (completely at a loss at a seemingly random topic)
T: What do you normally eat that your boobs are so big?!

Believe me when I say that I was rather surprised.

 

[Marcus]

"Do you tie your own shoes?"

That honestly floored me, I mean for a full grown adult what kind of question is that?

Yes, I tie my own shoes.

Her - "Good, it's a very important skill to have in life."

*Evacuates the area as quickly as possible.*

 

[Gritches]

Since it's Monday:

"How was your weekend?"

Fine. Terrible. Who cares? What do you want?

Can't think of anything particularly bizarre, most of the questions I've ever been asked have leaned more towards the tedious side.

 

[onlything]

Since it's Monday:

"How was your weekend?"

Fine. Terrible. Who cares? What do you want?

Can't think of anything particularly bizarre, most of the questions I've ever been asked have leaned more towards the tedious side.

Oh, one of these 'How are you?' questions. Frustrating that people have to ask about when they don't care about the answer. What's the point?

 

[OkRad]

I never know what to say with How Are You? I used to think they meant it!

 

[Gritches]

I never know what to say with How Are You? I used to think they meant it!

It took me many years to make that realization.

 

[Lula1989]

Not a question, but I can't stand when I am explaining something to someone ans they respond with "right" or "yeah". Makes it sound like they are agreeing that they already knew what I was telling them, even when we started the discussion with them admitted they weren't filled in on a matter.... so when I start to fill them in and they say "right....right...yeah...right" it confuses me lol. Don't say "yeah". It implies yes, you knew.. say okay, as if you are being informed.

Maybe this is just me...

 

[onlything]

Not a question, but I can't stand when I am explaining something to someone ans they respond with "right" or "yeah". Makes it sound like they are agreeing that they already knew what I was telling them, even when we started the discussion with them admitted they weren't filled in on a matter.... so when I start to fill them in and they say "right....right...yeah...right" it confuses me lol. Don't say "yeah". It implies yes, you knew.. say okay, as if you are being informed.

Maybe this is just me...

It's something they use for confirmation, though it often sounds not like 'Yeah, I understand' but more like 'Yeah, whatever'. Honestly, NTs seem to me to rarely care about what I have to say. I suppose it's understandable, although still frustrating.

 

[Theta.G]

Around some people i choose to remain silent when they say something so critically wrong to avoid their NT behavior and grudges. Yet, someone has taken it upon themselves to try and interpret my thoughts and voice them. While failing miserably.

In the car out for a ride with 2 others having a discussion on where we should move. I bring up a safe neighbor with good rent and location for us all. The house has accommodations for us all which was not easy to find. Perfect.
Cue ego 1 "Oh?!?! xyz neighborhood?! WITH PUNK *** KIDS THAT SCRATCH YOUR CAR!!!" *starts yelling like he was stabbed but it was just a memory of a car getting scratched in this neighborhood*
*slience*
I thought but didn't say "Hmm... well... neighborhood that's safe but your car might get scratched or a neighborhood where you will likely get stabbed just for going for a walk?"
Cue back seat commentary from pretentious mind reader: Hdphn33 is thinking "ego1 your such an idiot, how are you so stupid"

Hd and Ego1 stare at each other for a couple of seconds. HD remains silent, Ego1 hits his steering wheel and gets a crazy look in his eye... he actually believed that she knew i was thinking.

Ride was silent from then on. Lol

Of course, it was only after i got home that i thought of the response "You know shes not a mind reader right?" That would have been so useful!

 

[pax]

Patronising person - "What are YOU doing?"
Me - "Minding my business, you?"

 

[Progster]

I am living in a foreign country, and I look a bit different to the locals, so sometimes I get asked "what are you?" What they actually mean is, which country do you come from? but it took me a while to realise that this is what they meant and when I first heard it, it confused me - duh, what a stupid question! Now, it goes some thing like this:

Person: What are you?
Me: A human being, what are you?

Person: What are you?
Me: A lion, what are you?

 

[Progster]

I never know what to say with How Are You? I used to think they meant it!

I answer honestly, and if they don't like the reply, then they shouldn't have asked.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

This doesn't quite fit the brief,lets say it rhymes.
(It had to go somewhere)

At the doctors yesterday. I filled in the forms.
The doctor,before the injection, went though it again,
D : Heart disease
Me : No
D : Diabetic
Me: No
D: Are you dying?
Me: (a little shocked) err.... very slowly
D: No,are you dying ?
Me: Not yet, you'll know if Im dead,right?
D : IODINE
Me : aah, no.

So it was a stupid thing to ask but it was only me that heard it!
But great thread idea,sorry i didnt quite fit the brief.

 

[DuckRabbit]

Oh, one of these 'How are you?' questions. Frustrating that people have to ask about when they don't care about the answer. What's the point?

I find that for Aspergers, "How are you?" and "You alright?" are an opportunity to exchange information. Not so for NTs, for whom they are social devices. The question is not meant to be taken literally; it is not to garner any actual details about one’s subjective well-being. The enquiry is to show friendliness or consideration; break the ice and open things up; take the emotional temperature like animals scenting each other and sniffing out power bases. Above all it's to demonstrate normality – with each utterance designed to convey average-Joe sanity, reassuring the questioner "Yes, the lights are on and there's someone at home. I'm on the same page as you". Any information beyond the blandest "Good thanks and you" [no question mark - it's not an actual question] risks straining the bounds of NT normality and marking you as odd or a bore or a nutcase.

 

[onlything]

I find that for Aspergers, "How are you?" and "You alright?" are an opportunity to exchange information. Not so for NTs, for whom they are social devices. The question is not meant to be taken literally; it is not to garner any actual details about one’s subjective well-being. The enquiry is to show friendliness or consideration; break the ice and open things up; take the emotional temperature like animals scenting each other and sniffing out power bases. Above all it's to demonstrate normality – with each utterance designed to convey average-Joe sanity, reassuring the questioner "Yes, the lights are on and there's someone at home. I'm on the same page as you". Any information beyond the blandest "Good thanks and you" [no question mark - it's not an actual question] risks straining the bounds of NT normality and marking you as odd or a bore or a nutcase.

It still seems rather pointless to me. Showing cobsideration and friendliness but not caring to know the answer? Rather shallow. Sometimes I have an impression that NTs talk only for the sake of talking.

 

[OkRad]

I find that for Aspergers, "How are you?" and "You alright?" are an opportunity to exchange information. Not so for NTs, for whom they are social devices. The question is not meant to be taken literally; it is not to garner any actual details about one’s subjective well-being. The enquiry is to show friendliness or consideration; break the ice and open things up; take the emotional temperature like animals scenting each other and sniffing out power bases. Above all it's to demonstrate normality – with each utterance designed to convey average-Joe sanity, reassuring the questioner "Yes, the lights are on and there's someone at home. I'm on the same page as you". Any information beyond the blandest "Good thanks and you" [no question mark - it's not an actual question] risks straining the bounds of NT normality and marking you as odd or a bore or a nutcase.

I agree with this totally. The only thing I would add is that I think it is more about power than looking normal for them. They like weeding out the weak people because it makes them feel more accecptable. That is why we are margalized.

 

[OkRad]

This doesn't quite fit the brief,lets say it rhymes.
(It had to go somewhere)

At the doctors yesterday. I filled in the forms.
The doctor,before the injection, went though it again,
D : Heart disease
Me : No
D : Diabetic
Me: No
D: Are you dying?
Me: (a little shocked) err.... very slowly
D: No,are you dying ?
Me: Not yet, you'll know if Im dead,right?
D : IODINE
Me : aah, no.

So it was a stupid thing to ask but it was only me that heard it!
But great thread idea,sorry i didnt quite fit the brief.

I find medical and psych questions to be very hard to answer. I have to think what the base is from which they are asking. "Are you depressed" when at that moment I may not be because I am talking to a therapist, whereas right before and after, yes. But I would have to ask myself do they mean RIGHT NOW or when?

Because we have emotions that change, it is very hard for me to get what they want!

 

[DuckRabbit]

I agree with this totally. The only thing I would add is that I think it is more about power than looking normal for them. They like weeding out the weak people because it makes them feel more accecptable. That is why we are margalized.

Exactly - the preoccupation of many NTs is social status and power differentials, and where they fit into the hierarchy - everything is about their standing in the group. As these quotes by Ernest Becker capture so brilliantly:

Describing the dynamics of "status forcing," Becker writes: “people try to come out of social encounters a little bigger than they went in, by playing intricate games of one-upmanship. But you cannot force your status vis-à-vis someone else [“man cannot impart importance to himself”] unless there is a someone else and there are rules for status and verbal conventions for playing around with status, for coming out of social groups with increased self-inflation. Society almost everywhere provides codes for such self-aggrandizement, for the ability to boast, to humiliate, or just simply to outshine in quiet ways – like displaying one’s superior achievements…” (Becker, 1975, p. 13).
~ Becker, E. (1975). Escape from evil. New York: The Free Press.

Anything that reduces the other organisms and adds to one’s own size and importance is a direct way to gain self-feeling; it is a natural development out of the simple incorporation and fighting behaviour of lower organisms. By the time we get to man we find that he is in an almost constant struggle not to be diminished in his organismic importance. But as he is also and especially a symbolic organism, this struggle against being diminished is carried on on the most minute level of symbolic complexity. To be outshone by another is to be attacked at some basic level of organismic durability. To lose, to be second rate, to fail to keep up with the best and the highest sends a message to the nerve center of the organism’s anxiety: “I am over-shadowed, inadequate; hence I do not qualify for continued durability, for life, for eternity; hence I will die.” When I know that I possess some “special excellence,” I feel that I am “immune to diminution and death”.
~ Becker, E. (1975). Escape from evil. New York: The Free Press.

Isn't it great that most Aspergers can function largely free of such inane shackles? The trick however is to see the NT "How are you" for what it is.

 

[OkRad]

Exactly - the preoccupation of many NTs is social status and power differentials, and where they fit into the hierarchy - everything is about their standing in the group. As these quotes by Ernest Becker capture so brilliantly:

Describing the dynamics of "status forcing," Becker writes: “people try to come out of social encounters a little bigger than they went in, by playing intricate games of one-upmanship. But you cannot force your status vis-à-vis someone else [“man cannot impart importance to himself”] unless there is a someone else and there are rules for status and verbal conventions for playing around with status, for coming out of social groups with increased self-inflation. Society almost everywhere provides codes for such self-aggrandizement, for the ability to boast, to humiliate, or just simply to outshine in quiet ways – like displaying one’s superior achievements…” (Becker, 1975, p. 13).
~ Becker, E. (1975). Escape from evil. New York: The Free Press.

Anything that reduces the other organisms and adds to one’s own size and importance is a direct way to gain self-feeling; it is a natural development out of the simple incorporation and fighting behaviour of lower organisms. By the time we get to man we find that he is in an almost constant struggle not to be diminished in his organismic importance. But as he is also and especially a symbolic organism, this struggle against being diminished is carried on on the most minute level of symbolic complexity. To be outshone by another is to be attacked at some basic level of organismic durability. To lose, to be second rate, to fail to keep up with the best and the highest sends a message to the nerve center of the organism’s anxiety: “I am over-shadowed, inadequate; hence I do not qualify for continued durability, for life, for eternity; hence I will die.” When I know that I possess some “special excellence,” I feel that I am “immune to diminution and death”.
~ Becker, E. (1975). Escape from evil. New York: The Free Press.

Isn't it great that most Aspergers can function largely free of such inane shackles? The trick however is to see the NT "How are you" for what it is.

Oh my goodness, that was powerful. I am so glad I don't need to overpower people. I do, however, feel less than all the time. It DOES hurt. What is sad, is that before they demanded I come into their world, I was happy in my own. I never even knew I was less than, until they roped me in.

I see now why they did. They NEED people like us to feed off of.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Sorry but I beg to differ with several of the posters above who say that asking How are you is a meaningless exercise. I don't ask unless I genuinely want to know and in some detail- it's annoying when someone says fine and doesn't really respond with how they actually are doing and feeling. That's what makes the question trivial for me- that others don't take it seriously and give honest answers. If I didn't care or want to know I wouldn't ask. And I'm an NT so not all NTs are alike.