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Featured Coming out to the world

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by texkag, Jun 19, 2020.

  1. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I was wondering how many of you have come out as openly autistic. Do you have a blog, a You Tube Channel etc.? Are you comfortable identifying yourself publicly as autistic? I was diagnosed four years ago and have only told a handful of my closest family and one or two others. I wonder if I was braver, and blogged openly as an Aspie for example, I would feel more at easy with myself. I am fifty four now and so have spent most of my life as undiagnosed, as feeling like an utter failure at life. Perhaps 'coming out' is an important step towards self acceptance. What do you think?

    It's like having a life long scab. I've spent most of my life tugging at it in a hesitant manner. Perhaps it's time to rip it off. Perhaps I have to expose the wound before any real healing can take place?
     
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  2. Raggamuffin

    Raggamuffin Well-Known Member It's My Birthday!

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    I've been open about it on here, and on my Facebook page for my art and photography. Other than that, my partner and my parents.

    Still, it all feels academic right now, as I'm on the waiting list for an official assessment. What I read, learned and doing the online tests all helped give a sense of closure. I suppose it's just another piece to the puzzle of my personality.

    Ed
     
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  3. Matthias

    Matthias Well-Known Member

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    I used to tell people. One problem is many people still don't know much about autism or have all kinds of misconceptions about it. They might treat you better or worse depending on what they think they know about autism. They may start assuming things about you that aren't true like that you lack empathy or don't have feelings. They might doubt that you're autistic or think that you're using it as an excuse. I've found it's not really helpful to tell people unless there is a good reason although I'd be honest if someone noticed and asked about it.
     
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  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I don't think being unnecessarily open about it is a step toward self-acceptance. If you're ashamed of it, I don't see how exposing it would reduce the shame. You instead need to figure out why you're ashamed of it and resolve it that way. There are countless things about yourself you haven't announced to people, yet you're unaffected them. Autism could be just another of those things.
     
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  5. Major Tom

    Major Tom Searching for ground control... V.I.P Member

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    I opened up once and I still regret it. Unfortunately 99.9% of people will not understand and start to treat you differently. I wouldn't do it.
     
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  6. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    No, I'm not publicly open about it, though a few people know. I only ever tell people on a need-to-know basis. It's a very personal/private issue.
     
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  7. menander

    menander Well-Known Member

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    No. People use it against you. They like to use the words "autistic" and "retard" as if they are synonyms. Highly educated people don't but how often are they your only associates?
     
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  8. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Most people won't understand what you mean, and if you're at work you might just find you have linked yourself to images based on Rainman, and all your little ways start getting seen as problematic instead of quirky.

    People often don't have much knowledge relating to the reality of a minority groups, so they apply stereotypes and their fears or prejudices. You can be an advocate for autism awareness more easily from an undeclared position.
     
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  9. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thanks Ed. I hope you get your assessment soon.
     
  10. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    That's a really good point. I don't feel shame as much as fear. After reading your post I wonder if that fear isn't trying to tell me something. Perhaps for now, it would be better to work on myself.
     
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  11. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, the more I think about it the more it feel like a bad idea.
     
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  12. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes, I am a private person, I'm not a 'show the world type'. It's becoming increasingly clear that I would not be able to handle the result of a 'bare all' outing.
     
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  13. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am beginning to see what a bad idea it would be, thanks for your honest opinion.
     
  14. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Your right. I can speak out without being 'out' Being diagnosed so late in life,. I have never had the luxury of working with my traits rather than against them. It's about time I started caring for myself, my true self. Thanks everyone for your contributions. You have all been a great help. I appreciate the support.
     
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  15. Magna

    Magna Active Member

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    It's sad to think that anyone who is autistic would be ashamed of being autistic. I'm not ashamed in the least. I was diagnosed fairly recently (1.5 years ago approximately). In addition to family, I recently disclosed to my employer. I'm glad I did.
     
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  16. dhl02

    dhl02 Well-Known Member

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    I'll tell anyone I'm going to talk with for a long period of time. I had to talk about it on some other forums I post on because I had trouble deciphering sarcasm and playful teasing from serious posts and just being mean.

    All of my friends know, all of my family knows, and I disclose in job interviews. My attitude on the 3rd thing is that if they don't want to do their homework that I don't want to waste anymore time.

    I'm pretty open about it. I'm not ashamed. I'm more frustrated about NTs being not able to grasp autistic behavior even when I explain why I reacted a certain way and broke a rule.
     
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  17. Sara3

    Sara3 Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I am open about it. I am currently working on a project to teach autistic kids to read and write in spanish. If I am in an academic context, as a teacher, I tell people that autism is not what the general population think it is. I feel some people have listened to me, so I decided to continue being open about my autism. Also, they are, generally, nice to me.
    However, if I am interacting with people outside the academic context, I am not that open. I would say I am a woman with autism only if it is necessary (my neighbour knows and now he doesn't make loud noises at night).
     
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  18. texkag

    texkag Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    It's comforting to see someone happy in their autistic skin. I think disclosing when warranted is the best strategy.
     
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  19. 100skerls

    100skerls Just another skerl V.I.P Member

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    I came out as autistic on Nextdoor (a neighborhood app for sharing stuff with your community) I did it for autistic pride day to advocate for autistics and to give a more accurate representation of what autism is and what autistics want people to know and stuff. I readily tell people I’m autistic - I don’t care at all. I am socially well adapted though so I have the capacity to navigate conversations about it in a relatively “normal” way. Not that it’s something I’d be able to do every day.
     
  20. 100skerls

    100skerls Just another skerl V.I.P Member

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    Oops. Didn’t see the rest of what you’d said. I wouldn’t come out before you’ve accepted yourself. It puts too much power in other people’s hands. And I am only open about it because I feel a desire to shape public opinion about what autism is. If you decide you want to do it and there’s a reason that makes it worth it to you then I think it’s fine. Maybe don’t do it if you think you could be setting yourself up for disaster if you are met with some rejection. Then again, that’s just something to keep in mind. I think keeping it a secret does in a way perpetuate a mentality that you are hiding a part of yourself from the world and for me it was hard to not have a bit of shame or sadness that it had to be hidden. So I just decided I didn’t want to hide it anymore. Do what you want. I did start with a YouTube video first. YouTube is kind of anonymous unless you have loads of subscribers.