Extremely clumsy from the day I was born, both articulated and just downright clunky. It was never a major issue as most physical pains could brush off with ease.. led to a lot of scars and stories.. but as well I was a bit fearless. I can’t write more than two sentences without being in fairly excruciating pain that only rescinds with time and over stretching, yet can still be very artistic, musical and dextrous with them. I’ve always had issue with the amount of pressure/force to use with my hands or movements but I didn’t easily allow clumsiness or contemplating to get in my way, often being a monkey in any climbable tree, a surveyor of mountainous ranges and diving to the deepest depths.. I am certain I have dysgraphia, dyspraxia is a might but I don’t fully understand it and am basing it on a few proprioception and gait issues, posture a tad twisted and off center no matter the amount of physiotherapy and chiropracy yet requiring an extreme amount of exertion to draw myself into a straight normal standing or seated position which feels entirely contorted but mostly only recognized by visual cue and more than 2 decades trying. Found a lot of my sensory responses are actually greatly exaggerated for the better as long as I have visual acuity over what’s going on.. like the Romberg test, unable to stay balanced with eyes closed, staggering like a drunk.. but well and fine as long as I can see and correct. Part of what’s made me believe that they were other more concerning issues being had, as it seems like consciously manifesting and complete control over the problem. I’ve adapted over the years, I still can’t dance without starting a riotous stampede away from the enactment but have learned, like for example accepting toe-walking but still dropping my heel as if walking normally, simply because still maintaining that suspension in my feet seems to create a more supportive muscular structure that allows for the perceived contortion to be almost unaffected by my continued daily movements, even feeling like more core muscles are activated.. and by doing so, feels like I have more control over my nerves and spatial awareness. This all entirely before ASD and many other things were brought to my attention. To me, it seems a lot of the issues I perceive as having seem to stem from the vagus nerve.. either sensitive or malfunctioning, ASD or otherwise, it’s where I believe I have issue from how I’ve had everything explained to me. Not near as much of a clutz these days but I do still drop things quite regularly and have had to question the grip of my hands a lot.. other issues I question are gastroparesis, and dysautonomia as I lack hunger and awareness of, and suffer many problems after eating that create instability.. spasmic and energy-draining bowel movements without consciously forceful efforts and bladder awareness only when nearing full, like a dull burning pain slowly fades into existence to let me know I have to go, thankfully never extremely rushed to or experiencing incontinence unless losing consciousness.
It has been checked through many gluten and casein dietary changes, checking various types of foods over many years but have not found much that correlates with anything else, never really finding any other connections to follow other than nerves and triggers.
I can draw fairly well, and still exceptional with my hands in many aspects but muscles are always very rigid and tense throughout and tire/wear out easily, catch myself locked in rigid positions quite often. Have to do a lot of flexing and fidgeting to feel the extent of ROM and stretch out the muscles enough to alleviate aches and pains and attune nerves back to what I’m doing as opposed to reaction to sensation.. I seem to lose focus on how much exertion I am actually using, usually using in abundance compared to what is required and cognitively have to pull myself back off the throttle.. it as well leads to misfires or synapse shorts resulting in bursts or spasms that can temporarily lock position or cause me to lose whatever in my hands at the time, and all this converts to any movement or motion in my body though many are still decently autonomous. Walking flat foot is still inherently harder and blockier in movement and balance than walking on toes or the outsides of my feet, and standing or lying is far more comfortable than any form of sitting, though I don’t know if that ties to anything.