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Clinical depression is a real beast.

Typos are something I've sworn up & down to stop making.
I've also told myself to stop smoking.

So I stop making spelling mistakes every three days, and I give up tobacco once a month. ( :

How is it that we can keep a promise to a friend with tenacity and sincerity, but we can't keep promises to ourselves? o_O
 
An update for now. I slept for most of the last 24 hours. Still do not feel much like eating or doing much of anything. Still have zero motivation to even watch tv or game. Still want to stay in bed all day and night. This is not good.
 
Thanks for updating us, Len-- Check with a doctor. Seriously, ring the doctor or a trusted friend. You've got something going on here that's more than a mere case of the blues and if you slept 24 hours that means it may be getting a bit worse.

No motivation for TV may be helpful in that you don't get stuck in the trap of "just one more episode." So maybe it will help that you can go ahead and call someone to see about this. Even talking to another human being may be of some value.
 
Those things are appropriate for younger high school kids, though. Not so much for adults. I do think you’d probably feel better if you took up a real hobby, like maybe learn a musical instrument?

Wrong. You are overly generalizing. The character in my very avatar is from a series (Made in Abyss) that is NOT kid friendly at all. It would scar children and more sensitive teens if they read or watched the manga or the anime. Children in it are often put in harm’s way or even killed. The ratings for both even state both are for older audiences.

I suggest you also look up series like Ah! My Goddess!, Berserk, Ghost in The Shell, Battle Angel Alita, and Eden It’s An Endless World!. Those are definitely not for kiddies but not necessarily for the violence in them besides Ah! My Goddess!. They deal with adult themes younger children would have trouble relating to and the technical lingo for the science-fiction grounded ones would make reading them difficult.

I believe you are over generalizing.

By the way, I took multiple guitar lessons and got straight up bullied for it. Even my father who played the guitar himself bullied me for it.
 
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And yet it was video games, movies and Japanese cartoons that kept me from killing myself when I was in high school, since everything else in my life sucked back then.

Given that most of the anime I watch today is seinen, I do not think I am too old to be watching it.

I went through the same things and I even got brainwashed by the “normal people.” Contrary to what @Kalinychta states, learning a musical instrument is not going to automatically translate to social success, especially if you live in a crummy social climate. I was called “weirdo”, “hippie”, and “loser” for being interested in music instead of football, trucks, cigarettes, beer, shooting defenseless animals... etc. I wish I had grown up in a better culture.
 
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@Markness

She didn't say learning a musical instrument would "automatically translate to social success."

What she said was:
"I do think you’d probably feel better if you took up a real hobby, like maybe learn a musical instrument?"
 
@Markness

She didn't say learning a musical instrument would "automatically translate to social success."

What she said was:
"I do think you’d probably feel better if you took up a real hobby, like maybe learn a musical instrument?"

I admit I jumped to conclusions.

I have wanted to excel at the guitar but I keep hitting walls with it. Even when I took lessons for it, I couldn’t “unstuck” myself while two co-workers who were raised differently from how I was made it their lives for a good while. It’s another reason why I am depressed as well.
 
Just checking in with you Len. I know you are still feeling rough. Do you have a strategy to get you out of bed every few hours? Can someone call or stop by for motivation?

You might consider an aplointment wjth your g.p. for some blood work too. There are a number of physical ailments that masquerade as depression such as infections, low testoterone and hypothyroid to name a few. Get these things ruled out!
 
Just checking in with you Len. I know you are still feeling rough. Do you have a strategy to get you out of bed every few hours? Can someone call or stop by for motivation?

You might consider an aplointment wjth your g.p. for some blood work too. There are a number of physical ailments that masquerade as depression such as infections, low testoterone and hypothyroid to name a few. Get these things ruled out!
There actually is a family history of hyperthyroid in my bloodline, I will bring that up to the doctor on Tuesday morning.
 
Well, I decided to start doing one thing today that all my RL contacts suggested I did. My house has turned into a disaster area a couple of months ago. I started cleaning it. Now I have a spotless bathroom and a spotless kitchen, and I am taking a lunch break before walking to the store to buy more cleaning supplies and tackling the rest of my house. I have today off work because of the federal holiday, I may as well put that time to good use.

I still feel monumentally depressed, but at least this helps quite a bit.
 
Wow, awesome. Sorry you are depressed and I hope you have a useful discussions with your doctor, but it sounds like you are fighting back and being proactive. You seem pretty good at finding some true grit in yourself even at very tough times, where many would be blubbing in grubby rooms. Don't overdo the cleaning though. You're already Scary Clean Guy.
 
There actually is a family history of hyperthyroid in my bloodline, I will bring that up to the doctor on Tuesday morning.
Having thyroid problems can be personality altering. And changes in your thyroid hormone levels can happen when you change your food/drug behaviour. Last year after I stopped smoking for the first time I started again after 3 months and then stopped again after 2 months and it ruined my hormone levels (I had Basedow when I was younger, now I have no thyroid left and take hormones every day, which works pretty fine most of the time). This resulted in some kind of panic attacks, not being able to sleep more than 4-5 hours ( I usually need 7-9 hours) in restlessness and in diarrhea and other stuff because I needed less hormones now. But yeah, if you would have an underactive thyroid your symptoms would be different. If you tell your doc that this runs in your family he would probably test your blood levels for that.

I wish you the best of luck. Everything is going to be fine at some point :)
 
Here is an update. I have to reschedule the doctor appointment and pay a late cancellation fee because my boss broke a bone in her back and she needs me to cover the office for the time being since another important worker is on vacation out of state currently.
 
Wrong. You are overly generalizing. The character in my very avatar is from a series (Made in Abyss) that is NOT kid friendly at all. It would scar children and more sensitive teens if they read or watched the manga or the anime. Children in it are often put in harm’s way or even killed. The ratings for both even state both are for older audiences.

I suggest you also look up series like Ah! My Goddess!, Berserk, Ghost in The Shell, Battle Angel Alita, and Eden It’s An Endless World!. Those are definitely not for kiddies but not necessarily for the violence in them besides Ah! My Goddess!. They deal with adult themes younger children would have trouble relating to and the technical lingo for the science-fiction grounded ones would make reading them difficult.

I believe you are over generalizing.

By the way, I took multiple guitar lessons and got straight up bullied for it. Even my father who played the guitar himself bullied me for it.

Okay, point taken. I suppose we all have our taste in movies and whatnot. I just think that the OP would feel better if he were to do something more constructive/creative, you know what I mean? Learning a musical instrument was just a suggestion. In my own life I feel better when I’ve actually done something versus watch something or even read something. Passivity versus creativity, you know?
 
Here is an update. I have to reschedule the doctor appointment and pay a late cancellation fee because my boss broke a bone in her back and she needs me to cover the office for the time being since another important worker is on vacation out of state currently.

Wooo, cool. So you’re the boss for a day. You should totally abuse your power, like let everyone come in dressed as ducks. That’s what I’d do.
 
So they can't usually dress as ducks?! Unfair! :eek:

Wow, but you still need your appointment. I hope Yr boss will be ok. She's lucky you can be so flexible.
 
I decided to pull out this relic from two decades ago, and I found it still works perfectly. How is this for a video game that encourages active participation?
421E9E46-4EAF-48D5-AE23-F65B7FDF641B.jpeg
 
I just spent too much time laying in bed, eyes closed, trying to sleep but only getting more and more awake. Should I walk to the 24 hour gym where I have a membership that is only a few blocks away, and do some hardcore cardio? I have to be at work in eight hours from now, I have too much wide awake energy right now/
 

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