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Clear your head, empty your mind???

Oh, but I can :eek::oops::oops::oops::oops:

When I am relaxed, it's a way of relaxing, but not deliberate, can't switch my brain off on demand.
Is it day dreaming?
I don't think it really purging the thoughts, but getting less involved and letting them wander off carefree

Is it not getting involved with the thoughts or drama?

I think Fridge mentioned something like 'letting thoughts wander off to play amongst themselves'
 
HOW??? I can't not be doing something. I can't sit and watch tv and not be doing something else. And I definitely can't stop the thinking or turn it off. It's a continuous cycle, never ending, never slowing down. Are some people really capable of turning off their thoughts, clearing their heads, emptying their minds? And I always went to bed with a notepad and pen, too. Thinking and planning what next project I want to start on. It's even harder on my mind when I slow down. It's like if I'm busy, my mind is working at a slower pace because I'm having to keep part of it on what I'm doing. When I'm not doing something my mind is absolutely going crazy - shifting thoughts so fast it's hard to keep up with them. In a 30 second time span my mind will go to memories that make me feel guilty or sad, to wants, to plans, to possibilities and probably 50 other subjects. So I guess you can say, at rest my mind is going about 60 subjects a minute, when at work it's only going 30 subjects a minute because between each subject it has to revert back to what I'm doing.
Pats, I just love your posts, I so recognise myself [when I am not daydreaming]
 
Breathe in deeply,slowly saying the words

Breathe, time it with your breath.

As you breath out - even slower -

say with the breath -

a new attitude nice and slow.

Repeat.

Even after you work out what the acronym is...


Clue ...
BANANAS
 
Even reading all these responses - which I have enjoyed and appreciated - I'll have to read a line over a couple times because my thoughts get in the way.
 
My daughter in law came downstairs last night and she was saying how she really wished my son could just stop and rest and empty his mind for a while. I'm sure I gave her a confused look then she continued. "He's always working, planning or doing something. He even comes to bed with his notebook making plans for work projects." By the way, he loves what he does and is really good at it - wood working/carpentry. She was saying she wished he could just relax and clear his head and think of absolutely nothing. I said, that's impossible. She said, no, she does it all the time.

HOW??? I can't not be doing something. I can't sit and watch tv and not be doing something else. And I definitely can't stop the thinking or turn it off. It's a continuous cycle, never ending, never slowing down. Are some people really capable of turning off their thoughts, clearing their heads, emptying their minds? And I always went to bed with a notepad and pen, too. Thinking and planning what next project I want to start on. It's even harder on my mind when I slow down. It's like if I'm busy, my mind is working at a slower pace because I'm having to keep part of it on what I'm doing. When I'm not doing something my mind is absolutely going crazy - shifting thoughts so fast it's hard to keep up with them. In a 30 second time span my mind will go to memories that make me feel guilty or sad, to wants, to plans, to possibilities and probably 50 other subjects. So I guess you can say, at rest my mind is going about 60 subjects a minute, when at work it's only going 30 subjects a minute because between each subject it has to revert back to what I'm doing.

This is one of those things I wish I knew what it was like to be neurotypical. Not saying I want to be that - just give me a day to feel what it's like.

Pats - I think this is an example of the tendency to interpret everything literally. Your NT daughter-in-law does not literally mean for your son to dump all thought out of his head as if he were brain dead. It sounds like she is seeking to help him relax, and thought that you, as his mother, might have some suggestions. NTs have constant thoughts, just like people with ASD. Many NTs use a plethora of sleep aids, just like autistic people, ranging from pharmaceuticals to various relaxation techniques including conscious breathing regulation, yoga, and other types of meditation. Your DIL is an aberrant NT if she is able to "think of absolutely nothing" while she is conscious and is using hyperbole to explain the concept to you.
 
The problem is the statement "empty your mind" is a non-starter. That's not what happens when you meditate, slow down or practice presence. Its that you learn to observe your thoughts and to come "back to present" as it were. Often its much more of a sensory experience.

So, no, don't take it literally. Humans are literally not capable of stopping thinking. That's called being dead. I think what is being implied is to slow down and just experience the "now" without constantly trying to control it or think ahead.

You can work on slowing down, not having to be a busy body. It sounds like you would greatly benefit from practicing meditation if you can't just sit and "be." And not all forms of meditation are the same. Some form of practicing presence would be beneficial; in your case it sounds like needing an extra emphasis on letting go.

Actually, I have a bit of the opposite problem these days. I don't understand how people get themselves to do so much so often. It stresses me out that its even expected. I'd rather stay calm, quiet, contemplative and watch the birds and the breeze... literally.
 
I just learned there may be some advantages to our minds not stopping - while reading here I remembered my sister's upcoming retirement from being a school teacher and got some flowers sent to be delivered on her last day of work. So if my mind wasn't going off in all different directions I wouldn't have thought to do that because I don't have a note to myself reminding me of this one. yay me.... lol
 
I've not long started to notice these.
But my 'weird moving shapes' will be something like momentary flashes of images I don't remember thinking about.
Wholly unconnected to my conscious thoughts. Not neat and linear but random and nonsense.

Can't help but think, Ooo that's new, and wait for more to appear.
They never do.

Anyway, just saying :)

Mine's like a screensaver, large, slow-moving geometry. :cool:
 
I've got to the third the "don't take it literally" interpretation. I also have issues with my mind racing, but I've been practicing yoga and what I call "hardcore unitasking" for the past two years and I've noticed some changes in how my mind moves.

First of all "clear your mind" is a goal, but it's not the kind of goal you achieve, it's one you strive for knowing that perfection will always elude you. It's a kind of Zen thing. But just saying, "Yo! Clear your mind!" isn't helpful to anyone who isn't already a practitioner because how on earth do you do that?!? Well, it's basically a catchphrase for "Pick some kind of meditation technique or meditative activity that will slow down your thoughts and allow you to observe them and your present." Your daughter in law is probably just failing at explaining what she means. My guess is your son's constant busyness is making her uncomfortable and she wants him to be more like her and this is her way of expressing it -- by saying that he needs to change. That's a normal thing for people to do, although I don't approve of making your problems about other people.

Hardcore unitasking, btw, is my own term for when I pick an activity and force myself to stay with it and not respond to my mind pulling me in every direction until I'm completely finished with that activity. I usually make tea like this when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I just stand there and watch the pot boil. Then I sit there and watch the steam rise until my tea is steeped. No phone. No tidying. No anything but the tea until it's gone. I came up with this idea when I thought I only had ADHD. I found that more than anything it helps me to get a third person perspective on all the noise in my head. The noise doesn't go away, but I can see it for what it is: noise, and not feel like I have to respond to every alarm going off. It's helpful.

Anyway, @Pats , I just got diagnosed with ASD and I just joined this forum all about a week and a half ago. I hope that I'm not out of line in anything I said here. I felt incredibly welcomed by this community and I would really like to finally have a tribe of my own, so please let me know if I was off target on anything. Your post, and your feeling of exasperation with your daughter in law is very similar to how I've reacted to some of the nonsensical bogus things people have said to me in the past and I'm hoping that means that maybe we operate on the same wavelength? It would be nice to have anyone at all operating on the same wavelength as myself. You know, so we could be like, "yeah, isn't that absurd!" but, you know, together.
 
I've got to the third the "don't take it literally" interpretation. I also have issues with my mind racing, but I've been practicing yoga and what I call "hardcore unitasking" for the past two years and I've noticed some changes in how my mind moves.

First of all "clear your mind" is a goal, but it's not the kind of goal you achieve, it's one you strive for knowing that perfection will always elude you. It's a kind of Zen thing. But just saying, "Yo! Clear your mind!" isn't helpful to anyone who isn't already a practitioner because how on earth do you do that?!? Well, it's basically a catchphrase for "Pick some kind of meditation technique or meditative activity that will slow down your thoughts and allow you to observe them and your present." Your daughter in law is probably just failing at explaining what she means. My guess is your son's constant busyness is making her uncomfortable and she wants him to be more like her and this is her way of expressing it -- by saying that he needs to change. That's a normal thing for people to do, although I don't approve of making your problems about other people.

Hardcore unitasking, btw, is my own term for when I pick an activity and force myself to stay with it and not respond to my mind pulling me in every direction until I'm completely finished with that activity. I usually make tea like this when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I just stand there and watch the pot boil. Then I sit there and watch the steam rise until my tea is steeped. No phone. No tidying. No anything but the tea until it's gone. I came up with this idea when I thought I only had ADHD. I found that more than anything it helps me to get a third person perspective on all the noise in my head. The noise doesn't go away, but I can see it for what it is: noise, and not feel like I have to respond to every alarm going off. It's helpful.

Anyway, @Pats , I just got diagnosed with ASD and I just joined this forum all about a week and a half ago. I hope that I'm not out of line in anything I said here. I felt incredibly welcomed by this community and I would really like to finally have a tribe of my own, so please let me know if I was off target on anything. Your post, and your feeling of exasperation with your daughter in law is very similar to how I've reacted to some of the nonsensical bogus things people have said to me in the past and I'm hoping that means that maybe we operate on the same wavelength? It would be nice to have anyone at all operating on the same wavelength as myself. You know, so we could be like, "yeah, isn't that absurd!" but, you know, together.
Hi Pinkie and, no, you're not out of line at all. This forum is open dialogue in a safe community. Glad you've found your tribe.
 
Anyway, @Pats , I just got diagnosed with ASD and I just joined this forum all about a week and a half ago. I hope that I'm not out of line in anything I said here. I felt incredibly welcomed by this community and I would really like to finally have a tribe of my own, so please let me know if I was off target on anything. Your post, and your feeling of exasperation with your daughter in law is very similar to how I've reacted to some of the nonsensical bogus things people have said to me in the past and I'm hoping that means that maybe we operate on the same wavelength? It would be nice to have anyone at all operating on the same wavelength as myself. You know, so we could be like, "yeah, isn't that absurd!" but, you know, together.

You expressed how I feel, warm welcome
 
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My daughter in law came downstairs last night and she was saying how she really wished my son could just stop and rest and empty his mind for a while. I'm sure I gave her a confused look then she continued. "He's always working, planning or doing something. He even comes to bed with his notebook making plans for work projects." By the way, he loves what he does and is really good at it - wood working/carpentry. She was saying she wished he could just relax and clear his head and think of absolutely nothing. I said, that's impossible. She said, no, she does it all the time.

HOW??? I can't not be doing something. I can't sit and watch tv and not be doing something else. And I definitely can't stop the thinking or turn it off. It's a continuous cycle, never ending, never slowing down. Are some people really capable of turning off their thoughts, clearing their heads, emptying their minds? And I always went to bed with a notepad and pen, too. Thinking and planning what next project I want to start on. It's even harder on my mind when I slow down. It's like if I'm busy, my mind is working at a slower pace because I'm having to keep part of it on what I'm doing. When I'm not doing something my mind is absolutely going crazy - shifting thoughts so fast it's hard to keep up with them. In a 30 second time span my mind will go to memories that make me feel guilty or sad, to wants, to plans, to possibilities and probably 50 other subjects. So I guess you can say, at rest my mind is going about 60 subjects a minute, when at work it's only going 30 subjects a minute because between each subject it has to revert back to what I'm doing.

This is one of those things I wish I knew what it was like to be neurotypical. Not saying I want to be that - just give me a day to feel what it's like.

Totally know what you mean. I think connecting to felt sense through the body (embodiment) is a key to mind clearing, for ex: connecting to breath or sensation (in a quiet and peaceful non-overstimulating environment of course). Spending time in nature really helps me clear my mind. The more I'm in my body the less I'm in my mind.
 
Only way to shut my mind off is OBLIVION - Black out drunk or Illness.
No thank you.
Tried meditation, reached relaxation with mind still going 0.1C and sometimes sleep.
I usually read until my vision blurs and then I take my glasses off and can finally fall asleep.
 
I don't see how it is possible to empty your mind. I am always thinking, thinking, thinking- no matter what I am doing my brain is always running at 100 miles per hour. My mind never seems to shut down. Even when I sleep, I have crazy dreams. When I'm awake I might work on a hard rock-climbing route, and then when I go to sleep, I dream I'm rock-climbing. It's like my mind is trying to solve the route while I'm sleeping.

And if I'm not trying to solve a practical problem, I'm daydreaming or thinking about what I want to do next, or wondering if I should bake baguettes or cream puffs to learn a new baking skill. I think that even when I'm dead, my mind will be whirring on in Heaven!
 
Breathe in deeply

I heard breathing in slowly over the count of seven,
(feeling slight pressure on the sternum)

Holding for four,
And breathing out over the count of eight is what breathing deeply feels like.

Is that accurate?

Are there any variations on that?
 
I heard breathing in slowly over the count of seven,
(feeling slight pressure on the sternum)

Holding for four,
And breathing out over the count of eight is what breathing deeply feels like.

Is that accurate?

Are there any variations on that?

Something like that.

Variations are : Do what you want until you find something that works for you. But breath out for longer than in is my usual.

Bananas, other acronyms - as you know humour can also help to break a thought pattern or cycle, so linking it to the breath can also 'ritualise' it or make it a habit.

If you know the habit when nothing is happening - ie practice - when you are more stressed it's easier to remember the habit.

Sort of like getting fit.
 

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