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Can you be pushed to quit a job?
- Thread starter Gomendosi
- Start date
To me it depends on the following;
1.What my current financial position is.
2. How good my chances are for new employment
3. How I am under contract
4. How "bad" the situation is
1. if I have the means to survive a month or 2 before I land a new job, or go for unemployment (if I'm entitled to, because quiting your job isn't the way to get into unemployment)
2. In line with #1. If my position for new employment, perhaps due to not really viable degrees and such, is a problem. I might rethink it a bit better
3. If I'm working through an agency, I can explain the situation to them, and they might help me for a new job. If I'm under contract directly, there's a period you have to work, after you gave the heads-up to quit. At least, here it is. Thus, I'm not really being helped that easy and still have to work at least a month on a job I really hate.
4. Obviously, how bad the situation is, does matter.
However, I do have a bit of the "kick the ants nest" attitude. If I'm really fed up with something, I want it to change fast. And if that means I'll lose some, I'll take my chances. That's how employment works for me, just like it works for employers. Most of the time they're not going with the "would you eventually be up for X?" they want you to change, and if that means you're not happy with your job, you're not viable for such positions... at least, that's what I got from it.
1.What my current financial position is.
2. How good my chances are for new employment
3. How I am under contract
4. How "bad" the situation is
1. if I have the means to survive a month or 2 before I land a new job, or go for unemployment (if I'm entitled to, because quiting your job isn't the way to get into unemployment)
2. In line with #1. If my position for new employment, perhaps due to not really viable degrees and such, is a problem. I might rethink it a bit better
3. If I'm working through an agency, I can explain the situation to them, and they might help me for a new job. If I'm under contract directly, there's a period you have to work, after you gave the heads-up to quit. At least, here it is. Thus, I'm not really being helped that easy and still have to work at least a month on a job I really hate.
4. Obviously, how bad the situation is, does matter.
However, I do have a bit of the "kick the ants nest" attitude. If I'm really fed up with something, I want it to change fast. And if that means I'll lose some, I'll take my chances. That's how employment works for me, just like it works for employers. Most of the time they're not going with the "would you eventually be up for X?" they want you to change, and if that means you're not happy with your job, you're not viable for such positions... at least, that's what I got from it.
Companies can and do push employees towards quitting. They'd much rather do that than fire someone, because for one thing they wouldn't have to pay unemployment.
Basically my policy is to ride the storm out unless it is a situation where my health and safety are in danger. As I am not likely to be in that kind of situation in the first place, that really doesn't apply.
If I did decide to quit, I would not say anything to anyone, but quietly go out looking for another job and then after I had gotten the new position, put in my two weeks notice. First of all, even though it is tempting to leave on a bad note, sooner or later it will catch up to you, especially if you are in an area where employment options are limited. Word really does get around.
Getting fired on purpose is risky as is getting fired in general. Apart from having to explain on interviews why you were fired, it is much harder to get a job if you don't already have one. Yes, that sucks, but that's the way it is.
Basically my policy is to ride the storm out unless it is a situation where my health and safety are in danger. As I am not likely to be in that kind of situation in the first place, that really doesn't apply.
If I did decide to quit, I would not say anything to anyone, but quietly go out looking for another job and then after I had gotten the new position, put in my two weeks notice. First of all, even though it is tempting to leave on a bad note, sooner or later it will catch up to you, especially if you are in an area where employment options are limited. Word really does get around.
Getting fired on purpose is risky as is getting fired in general. Apart from having to explain on interviews why you were fired, it is much harder to get a job if you don't already have one. Yes, that sucks, but that's the way it is.
Ants nest:lol2:
It depends on the situation. If it made me feel horribly stressed out, I would quit as soon as I could. Usually I'd quit properly and just apply to other jobs in the meantime...so long as I didn't feel taken advantage of or mistreated in some sense.
This reminds me of my old job I took back in 2010. It got so bad after the boss started yelling at me and my team for no reason whatsoever that I started getting massively depressed and started to physically attack myself. It got so bad that I was sleeping for 11, 12 hours at a time. I just had no energy.
That still happens to me every once in a while when someone makes fun of me just for being who I am, which happens often at the debate site I go to.
I think it can happen. I think it is something that we all have to be aware of in terms of how we are treated at job. But I haven't had many paying jobs I just have the one that've been at for a 11yrs. But I did quit a volunteer job I loved because they were taken over by another company and I didn't like how the atmosphere changed they kept changing things on me and expecting me to understand why and changing rules that I had come to rely on or rules that they had automatically allowed me to get away with because I couldn't drive and such. But I left because they were also trying to force all the old volunteers out and then telling me they weren't doing that. So I quit. But defiantly felt like I that was what was supposed to happen. (funny thing though I still get email from them all the time and they still haven't filled my shift.)I know I am a bit odd at that place but it was fine to bring my dolls until they took over then I got weird looks from people and hushed whispers all the time. I felt that was bad place to be if it was supposed to be a mental health place and they weren't that tolerant...of others. So long story short I guess I think its true I think you can be pushed to act so rashly that you quit a job.
Yes, sadly. It is termed "constructive discharge." I hope it improves and your job gets better. When there are actions by coworkers that would push anyone to want to leave, try to document when that happens. Even if nothing comes of it misunderstanding can be better understood when a record is kept. It actually makes the bad thing happening not feel so surprising and painful. Keep your diary private from your work-mates. This is not legal advice, I just feel bad that you are going through this, it happens to many aspies and others as well. It depends on the laws in your area as far as how its dealt with.
LittlePuff
Well-Known Member
Having Asbergers can mean some coworkers don't like you much. I've been fired when one of these persons was my boss. Or they can make you hate going to work, one place gave me the option to leave or get fired. I hate finding new jobs, new coworkers etc.. And interviewing is horrible. I'm going to school right now to be a Respiratory Therapist and not looking forward to the unknown. I've been accused of not being a team player a few times.
total-recoil
Well-Known Member
I can certainly have meltdowns so when I let off steam it tends to go outwards. This never used to happen but now it does so I have to try to avoid meltdowns. I'm working now and have had stressful periods which I seem to handle O.K. Given the economy here is in such a bad way I tend to ignore any rudeness or provocation and let it wash over.
Dragon's Tooth
Well-Known Member
My last job I was being paid to work and attend uni to get a degree (the company was paying for all my study costs). This is fairly stressful on its own without added pressures. I had a boss who was really horrible. She would yell at me and belittle me a lot and treat me like crap. She basically was upset I wasn't as good as the guy who had been at the same thing for five years and I had just started (the company allowed up to 8 years for completion of the degree). She never accepted that I was new and needed help to get up to speed.
In the end I was sleeping excessive amounts, I had no energy for anything, I was very close to trying to kill myself and often I would get up every morning and cry before going to work because I hated it so much. I approached people in HR about it and they pretty much told me to suck it up and get on with it. They pretty much took her side. I even tried changing departments but the damage was done. I only found out about my asperger's after this finished up. But I think if she had known she would have said I was making excuses.
At the time of this as well I was undergoing some medical tests to try and determine why I was getting excessively tired (which I now largely attribute to anxiety and depression from asperger's) and when I tried to arrange to go get these tests done it would set my boss off worse.
I could have made a successful case under current laws in my country for bullying and probably got a pay out but it would have hinged on getting witnesses and I don't think I could have convinced to other people to stand up for me even though I would have struggled to find anyone who actually liked my boss other than her boss who was trying to get in her pants. The company was on her side and the witnesses would have not wanted to risk their jobs.
All in all I had to quit because I had a major mental break down from this woman. If I had known about my aspergers at the time it probably would have made it worse but it probably would have helped me to actually successfully sue over this or it might have convinced the HR people to intervene earlier. I hate that I had to give up a career for this whole thing, it was in an industry I loved working in, but I don't miss anything about it now.
The down side to this is I live in a small town where it is very hard to get a job even with qualifications (the degree I was working on would have been my second one). My husband supports me but I still feel helpless. It has also isolated me a lot because I didn't have any friends really. I had work mates, but none of them have bothered to look me up which suggests I had offended them somehow and didn't know it. I have some other friends now and do volunteer work which I enjoy a lot but those new friends I don't consider close. It has also left me afraid of work again because this is not the first time I have been in this situation. I have had managers target me for this before. So I'm very anxious about starting a new job because of the troubles I have had in the past.
Currently I'm trying to find other ways to make a few dollars to support my husband and I'm hoping working for myself will bring me what I've been looking for.
In the end I was sleeping excessive amounts, I had no energy for anything, I was very close to trying to kill myself and often I would get up every morning and cry before going to work because I hated it so much. I approached people in HR about it and they pretty much told me to suck it up and get on with it. They pretty much took her side. I even tried changing departments but the damage was done. I only found out about my asperger's after this finished up. But I think if she had known she would have said I was making excuses.
At the time of this as well I was undergoing some medical tests to try and determine why I was getting excessively tired (which I now largely attribute to anxiety and depression from asperger's) and when I tried to arrange to go get these tests done it would set my boss off worse.
I could have made a successful case under current laws in my country for bullying and probably got a pay out but it would have hinged on getting witnesses and I don't think I could have convinced to other people to stand up for me even though I would have struggled to find anyone who actually liked my boss other than her boss who was trying to get in her pants. The company was on her side and the witnesses would have not wanted to risk their jobs.
All in all I had to quit because I had a major mental break down from this woman. If I had known about my aspergers at the time it probably would have made it worse but it probably would have helped me to actually successfully sue over this or it might have convinced the HR people to intervene earlier. I hate that I had to give up a career for this whole thing, it was in an industry I loved working in, but I don't miss anything about it now.
The down side to this is I live in a small town where it is very hard to get a job even with qualifications (the degree I was working on would have been my second one). My husband supports me but I still feel helpless. It has also isolated me a lot because I didn't have any friends really. I had work mates, but none of them have bothered to look me up which suggests I had offended them somehow and didn't know it. I have some other friends now and do volunteer work which I enjoy a lot but those new friends I don't consider close. It has also left me afraid of work again because this is not the first time I have been in this situation. I have had managers target me for this before. So I'm very anxious about starting a new job because of the troubles I have had in the past.
Currently I'm trying to find other ways to make a few dollars to support my husband and I'm hoping working for myself will bring me what I've been looking for.
girlfriday
Well-Known Member
This is happening to me now, the new boss wants change, she's not finding me easy to work with as coping with the changes means I can't do the happy chatty act. I'm sullen while I try to adjust, so she wants me out. I've been in this situation before, in another job, I should have left before it got too bad that time, but I don't think I've learnt my lesson. I don't like to give in to this sort of pressure, even though its hurting me the most......
Yeah me too. I'm currently off on long term sick leave from a job because I couldn't cope any more. I should have left but was too scared of change.
Daniel
Well-Known Member
I've quit jobs twice. In both cases, the magic number was three weeks, and in both jobs, it was because the work environment employed "negative motivation" as their management style. As in -- we'll pay you a lot of money but we expect top performance immediately, and there's no grace period because you're new, and you will be demeaned and belittled until your fear of being demeaned and belittled motivates you to prove yourself. And that has the exact opposite effect on me!
In both cases, I had no other income to fall back on but the goodwill of my financially-comfortable parents (my life would have been a lot different otherwise!), but both times, things worked out and I was able to find employment that better suited me fairly soon after. I guess I believe in serendipity when it comes to things like that. Seems to have worked so far!
I didn't really have any hard feelings after walking away, because I was never going to succeed in either position. Both times, when I discussed my issues before or at the time of leaving, I was told -- "to do this job, you have to change your personality." I would have had to become mean and hard like them, from the inside out. No thanks! That's not who my wife fell in love with, and both times, we knew it was the right thing to do.
And I knew that for both of those industries, they needed to be like that. So I've learned to be a lot more selective about where I try to get work. I did a lot of temp work and contract work, and though it took me until age 31 to find a permanent, full-time job, I'm happy that I didn't commit to anything that would have destroyed my soul!
In both cases, I had no other income to fall back on but the goodwill of my financially-comfortable parents (my life would have been a lot different otherwise!), but both times, things worked out and I was able to find employment that better suited me fairly soon after. I guess I believe in serendipity when it comes to things like that. Seems to have worked so far!
I didn't really have any hard feelings after walking away, because I was never going to succeed in either position. Both times, when I discussed my issues before or at the time of leaving, I was told -- "to do this job, you have to change your personality." I would have had to become mean and hard like them, from the inside out. No thanks! That's not who my wife fell in love with, and both times, we knew it was the right thing to do.
And I knew that for both of those industries, they needed to be like that. So I've learned to be a lot more selective about where I try to get work. I did a lot of temp work and contract work, and though it took me until age 31 to find a permanent, full-time job, I'm happy that I didn't commit to anything that would have destroyed my soul!
Intemporal_Reverie
Well-Known Member
I've had a lengthy history of not being able to hold jobs. I don't tolerate nonsense and don't take stuff from people. The longest job I've ever held was working for an animal hospital. It was great because I didn't have to deal with people. Just Dogs, cats, and the occasional odd pet or animal that is not entirely common. I left that job because I had to start the University full time. That was many years ago.
Lector Tiberius
Well-Known Member
I can totally relate to what Intemporal_Reverie said. Basically, I can "quit " anything at the "drop of a dime". Sometimes I wish I would not react so quickly but the reality of my life experiance so far is: that I really don't do well in "people situations " that are stressfull to me. It just never ceases to amaze me how some people can derive pleasure from "pushing peoples buttons " if they can find an area to exploit. As an aspie , I found that I seem to have many I guess..
Aalo
Hypostasis
This has happened. While working at some certain welfare instances I've been smoked out.
I don't really care if I'm not liked, but getting misconducted is enough. Lots of thanks about these do go for lying superiors but also all those co-workers that won't mind informing new ones how that certain place has it's unwritten rules. Apparently those silly practices are everywhere, which I don't get either. I can understand that financing is rigid, but being unfair won't exactly help keeping junior vacancies filled.
I don't really care if I'm not liked, but getting misconducted is enough. Lots of thanks about these do go for lying superiors but also all those co-workers that won't mind informing new ones how that certain place has it's unwritten rules. Apparently those silly practices are everywhere, which I don't get either. I can understand that financing is rigid, but being unfair won't exactly help keeping junior vacancies filled.
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