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Can a life-and-soul-of-the-party be autistic?

Autism and introversion are not mutually exclusive. There are extraverted autistics, and they will manifest VERY differently because - rather than staying inward to an excessive degree, they'll go outward to an excessive degree.

If I'm not overstepping bounds (as I may have felt this way myself) perhaps your doubt may be muddled with resentment in that she can be so socially forward yet it is such a struggle for you. But just because she is outgoing and popular does not mean she doesn't also have social problems.

With that said, I'd certainly want to hear more about her professional diagnosis. Its not that I don't have doubts either. But autistics tend to be more extreme personalities, and that can go for being a life of the party extravert while many of us are hermit wallflower introverts. If she "stands out" in a party, it could be that she does not have the social inhibitions typical people do, and that can be a case of autistic social blindness, even if it ends up with her being charming.
 
When I was younger, I partied, stayed out late dancing, went to movies with friends, did Basic Training in the Army Reserves, cared about fashion and style. As I got older, I found it more and more difficult to be social to the extent that I did before. I began to be extremely picky about fabrics and textures, and don't even wear make-up any more. Before, I had friends who called me up to go to things with them, invited me over at the holidays, etc. Now I am not so active. I long for a social life, but due to physical challenges and burn out from keeping on multiple facades and masks, I am very different from the way I used to be.

It is possible that your friend is autistic, and an extrovert. I struggled with boundaries and personal space, and really embarrassed myself with interrupting private conversations; I figured, if they're talking in front of me then it isn't private!:oops: So yeah, I didn't seem autistic, but I certainly am. And your friend could be, too!Maybe she is enjoying herself now, but will burn out later. Who knows for sure?:sunglasses:
 
Yes, I believe it is possible. I think I know one. My guess with this person is that it developed because early on when they did that behavior it was rewarded in some way socially and it encouraged them to continue down that road. But it seems to me very much an act and a mask they wear, as I knew them before they developed that personality. When I am with them I regularly remind them it is not show time and they can just relax and be themself. But is difficult for him and he did say on one occasion the real self is too painful for them to inhabit.
 
Tom said:
Yes, I believe it is possible. I think I know one. My guess with this person is that it developed because early on when they did that behavior it was rewarded in some way socially and it encouraged them to continue down that road. But it seems to me very much an act and a mask they wear, as I knew them before they developed that personality. When I am with them I regularly remind them it is not show time and they can just relax and be themself. But is difficult for him and he did say on one occasion the real self is too painful for them to inhabit.
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Back in the day, an occasionally nowadays, if I manage a social encounter with a slight persona change successfully, I feel as if I had played some kind of game well; the reward was escaping detection. Maybe that was the reward your friend experienced? I must say it feels good if there is a brief interaction with someone, and no awkward moments of weirdness.:)
 
garnetflower13 said:
Back in the day, an occasionally nowadays, if I manage a social encounter with a slight persona change successfully, I feel as if I had played some kind of game well; the reward was escaping detection. Maybe that was the reward your friend experienced? I must say it feels good if there is a brief interaction with someone, and no awkward moments of weirdness.:)
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Yes, I have had the same occasional periods of socialability, though also less now then when I was young. It meant more then and was something I strived for very much. At times I could be very social and being offbeat in a measured Aspie way could actually help one stand out at times, in a good way (especially if you could project confidence). It was very rewarding to included in a group and not seen as an outsider. The how and why of when it would happen was always a mystery to me however. It just seemed to come on at irregular times and be like a natural mood or chemical shift interrupting the more normal introversion phases. I briefly, due to coincidence for a while, thought it might even be in sync with the full moon! But more lengthy observation disproved that theory. :D
 
Yes it's possible, an autistic woman I know is popular, extremely extroverted, funny, thrives on attention, loves partying, she is invariably the chattiest member of any group she is a par of and get on with everyone. There is no doubt in my mind that she has ASD, but it would not be at all obvious to anyone who doesn't know her well, know how different autistic traits can present themselves.

Even I, who am much more of an introvert than this woman and suffer from social anxiety disorder, can sometimes be 'the life of the party' if I am in the right mood and with the right people.
 
NothingToSeeHere said:
Even I, who am much more of an introvert than this woman and suffer from social anxiety disorder, can sometimes be 'the life of the party' if I am in the right mood and with the right people.
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Funny you mention that. I am very introverted, but like you said, around the right group I can come alive and become the life of a party. Its like my entertainer "switch" flips on and all of a sudden I'm spontaneously hilarious and gregarious.

I usually crash like a rock later that night and need to be alone for a week, but still.
 
JDShredds said:
Autism and introversion are not mutually exclusive. There are extraverted autistics, and they will manifest VERY differently because - rather than staying inward to an excessive degree, they'll go outward to an excessive degree.

If I'm not overstepping bounds (as I may have felt this way myself) perhaps your doubt may be muddled with resentment in that she can be so socially forward yet it is such a struggle for you. But just because she is outgoing and popular does not mean she doesn't also have social problems.

With that said, I'd certainly want to hear more about her professional diagnosis. Its not that I don't have doubts either. But autistics tend to be more extreme personalities, and that can go for being a life of the party extravert while many of us are hermit wallflower introverts. If she "stands out" in a party, it could be that she does not have the social inhibitions typical people do, and that can be a case of autistic social blindness, even if it ends up with her being charming.
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You just described me. I'm pretty open with my friends about my diagnosis. I'm actually pretty extroverted but I don't like large groups because I have trouble identifying when it is my turn to talk. I do better in smaller groups or 1-1. If my friends didn't help me out, I'd just take over the conversation and go on a monologue. Luckily, I told my friends it is ok to tell me to stfu. I take it in stride. The more I go to large social gatherings, the more I learn about how it works.
 
I am definitely an Aspie, yet in the right circumstances, I can keep people entertained for hours! I usually crash for a couple of days afterwards, as in I won't say ANYTHING to ANYONE for a day or two, but I'm usually considered fun to be around. I'm fairly open with my diagnosis in social spaces (keeps things from getting too awkward when traits surface), but most people never really notice when I'm in public. It helps that in my circles, inappropriate comments and strong opinions are considered necessary for a fun time, so I can oblige without hurting feelings (most of my circle is also on the Spectrum, or works in behavioral/mental health). So yes, females especially can be outgoing and the "life of parties" and still be strongly autistic. It happens more often than you'd believe...
 
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