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Bullying in the Autistic community

Jonn

Well-Known Member
I used to believe "autistic bullies" was an oxymoron.
Unfortunately, experience has taught me it is not.

Has anyone else experienced this problem?
 

Aspychata

Serenity waves, beachy vibes
V.I.P Member
My workplace had such a person. It was pretty bad. I couldn't say anything, but eventually her behaviors did her in.
 
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Luca

charm & chaos
V.I.P Member
I am often bullied or made the target of hurtful jokes by people in my "social circles" who are also autistic. So, no, not an oxymoron. Unfortunately.

You would think that people who have also (probably) been bullied their whole lives, and are used to being different and outcast and not fitting in, and being "quirky" or having non-mainstream interests themselves, would have more sympathy and empathy for those who are in the same situation. And, you know, not try to make them feel worse :unamused:

There have also been some members on here during the time that I've been here who have bullied/picked on other members. I don't like to see it or be around it but it happens from time to time.
 

PastelPetals

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
autistic people can be anything including awful to each other. Walk into any therapeutic day school in the world and you will find autistic bullies.
 
I used to believe "autistic bullies" was an oxymoron.
Unfortunately, experience has taught me it is not.

Has anyone else experienced this problem?

me when i haven't.
American Housewife No GIF by ABC Network

 

Jonn

Well-Known Member
You would think that people who have also (probably) been bullied their whole lives, and are used to being different and outcast and not fitting in, and being "quirky" or having non-mainstream interests themselves, would have more sympathy and empathy for those who are in the same situation. And, you know, not try to make them feel worse :unamused:
You would think so, but unfortunately, we both know better now.
 

Jonn

Well-Known Member
My workplace had such a person. It was pretty bad. I couldn't say anything, but eventually her behaviors did her in.
One autistic bully is bad enough, but I have been a target of a bullying campaign by an autistic group who wanted to dominate the environment they were in.
Reasoning with these people had no effect.
The Truth was irrelevant to them.

I was under the impression most people on the spectrum valued reason, fairness and Truthfulness.
I have to reconsider my position on this.
New information incorporated.
 

Jonn

Well-Known Member
autistic people can be anything including awful to each other. Walk into any therapeutic day school in the world and you will find autistic bullies.
Based on research and personable experiences, I still believe those on the spectrum *tend* to be more rational and ethical than garden variety NTs, but I am surprised at how much anti-social behaviour does happen.

Part of the problem seems to be that there is a lot more bad behaviour in life in general but the anonymity of online communication accentuates the problem.
 

Luca

charm & chaos
V.I.P Member
Part of the problem seems to be that there is a lot more bad behaviour in life in general but the anonymity of online communication accentuates the problem.
Yes. 100%. I have posted A LOT about this on here.
I think social media is a pretty good bully factory. And by "good," I mean good for that purpose, which is really bad.
 

Atrapa Almas

70% INTJ + 30% ASPIE = 100% HUMAN
V.I.P Member
Part of the problem seems to be that there is a lot more bad behaviour in life in general but the anonymity of online communication accentuates the problem.
At Mexico some people say that the best way to take care of your teeth is showing respect to others.

And anonymity stop that ancient principle.
 

Jonn

Well-Known Member
Yes. 100%. I have posted A LOT about this on here.
I think social media is a pretty good bully factory. And by "good," I mean good for that purpose, which is really bad.
One of the tactics of bullies is misrepresenting a person's position. If they are then backed up by their "gang", a new alternate Truth is established verifying the misrepresentation.

No amount of reasoning can changed a closed mind that is determined to establish dominance over someone else.
And when a groupthink mentality is in existence against an individual, this intellectual, emotional and moral injustice is accepted by that community.

I expect better from an autistic community.
 

Forest Cat

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I learned a trick when I was a kid, when someone pushed me around I said "is that the best you can do?" and laughed. So they tried harder. And I laughed and said "is that the best you can do?". It makes people feel stupid and powerless when the guy they are trying to bully laughs at them and is unimpressed by their effort.
 

calicoandgreen

Mother I Homesteader I Aquascaper
Well I've definitely been treated like some kind of inhuman garbage dump by a fellow autistic person in the past. It was on Facebook I think, a 'friend' I had made in a group for neurodivergent people. It was like he didn't realize I was a human being and would tell me some horrible thoughts he had like I was some kind of diary he could write anything and everything in. Misogynistic things. He was someone who was extremely intelligent and rational, but really disconnected from anything emotion or empathy related. It really felt like he was borderline psychopath. At some point I had to put an end to our relationship as it was very unhealthy. It only happened to me once but like everyone else we're all different and of course there's gonna be bullies in our ranks. But yes, definitely, social media doesn't help bullying wise. I'm part of another online community (aquascaping related) and I see sooo much bullying it's disgusting. I often have to take a couple of days or weeks off because all that negativity is really getting to me. The autistic people in that community are very nice though. Many of us are actually the kind and rational ones who fly to the rescue whenever we witness some meanness towards somebody. We're the white knights of the community. And that makes me proud of us.
 

calicoandgreen

Mother I Homesteader I Aquascaper
@Atrapa Almas I know him! I think what he does is so very valuable from an educational perspective. I watch his videos with my 5 yo daughter :D

Ok I'm not talking about it anymore here haha
 

Brictoria

Well-Known Member
Sadly, the biggest bullies I've found online were Autistic - It seemed like they'd taken the experience they (or others they had heard about) had experienced from people who didn't like them when they were younger, and decided to apply that treatment to others who they in turn didn't like (either the person themself or the views they were presenting) - This became even worse when they were handed power over others, where they were then in a position both to bully others, as well as enforce "punishment" should their victims respond in any way.
 

VictorR

Random Member
V.I.P Member
Sadly, the biggest bullies I've found online were Autistic - It seemed like they'd taken the experience they (or others they had heard about) had experienced from people who didn't like them when they were younger, and decided to apply that treatment to others who they in turn didn't like (either the person themself or the views they were presenting) - This became even worse when they were handed power over others, where they were then in a position both to bully others, as well as enforce "punishment" should their victims respond in any way.

I wonder if perhaps that's due to many of us having difficulty reading or understanding situations, and tending to get by with imitating what we've seen or experienced, not realizing that some things we've seen or experienced are inappropriate.
 

Owliet

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I wonder if perhaps that's due to many of us having difficulty reading or understanding situations, and tending to get by with imitating what we've seen or experienced, not realizing that some things we've seen or experienced are inappropriate.
Not to mention sometimes we have a set way of thinking about something and will be so certain that we are correct that we don’t see any other angles. an Old psych of mine used to call it black and white thinking. No gray.
 

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