Umm. Tough one.
I've been tall and skinny most of my life, and very self-conscious because of people repeatedly telling me that real women had curves, etc. The fact that I could eat hefty amounts didn't help, as it seemed the entire school was determined to prove I had an eating disorder, to the point I just gave up going to the bathroom at school altogether (pro tip for anyone yearning to develop UTIs, here). College wasn't much better. So I never really liked my upper body, and especially not my arms from being told I looked like a corpse all the time (I'm not even that skinny, but I do have overly thin joints), but I was used to it, sort of.
And then I was misdiagnosed, in typical female Aspie fashion, and put on medication that I should never have been given in the first place. Put on 13 kg/29 lbs in hardly more than a month, without even eating that much more than usual. I didn't recognize myself, and I definitely hated what I was seeing in the mirror. That started dysmorphophobia that I've still not conquered 6 years later, and that I could have done without. It took me about 2 years to return to my usual weight (which I need to maintain in the lower range for other health reason), and even though I know I'm pretty much liked I used to again, it's just not what I see anymore. So I had an additional 2 years after that that I spent killing the habit of monitoring my food intake. I'm glad I'm not starving myself anymore, but I do have a lingering fear of putting on too much weight that I'd never had before the medication 6 years ago. Ironically, back then, all I wanted was to put a little meat on my bones.
I've been tall and skinny most of my life, and very self-conscious because of people repeatedly telling me that real women had curves, etc. The fact that I could eat hefty amounts didn't help, as it seemed the entire school was determined to prove I had an eating disorder, to the point I just gave up going to the bathroom at school altogether (pro tip for anyone yearning to develop UTIs, here). College wasn't much better. So I never really liked my upper body, and especially not my arms from being told I looked like a corpse all the time (I'm not even that skinny, but I do have overly thin joints), but I was used to it, sort of.
And then I was misdiagnosed, in typical female Aspie fashion, and put on medication that I should never have been given in the first place. Put on 13 kg/29 lbs in hardly more than a month, without even eating that much more than usual. I didn't recognize myself, and I definitely hated what I was seeing in the mirror. That started dysmorphophobia that I've still not conquered 6 years later, and that I could have done without. It took me about 2 years to return to my usual weight (which I need to maintain in the lower range for other health reason), and even though I know I'm pretty much liked I used to again, it's just not what I see anymore. So I had an additional 2 years after that that I spent killing the habit of monitoring my food intake. I'm glad I'm not starving myself anymore, but I do have a lingering fear of putting on too much weight that I'd never had before the medication 6 years ago. Ironically, back then, all I wanted was to put a little meat on my bones.
