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I love roses

Well-Known Member
I have a habit other people don’t do and I probably need to find a way to stop. People can look at me oddly when I do it. Most people do this too but not near as grand a scale. Like a fisherman describing a fish will hold up two hands and say the fish was this long. But I see in pictures, so if I describe a memory or objects or anything, I stop looking at the person, temporarily go completely into the movie or scene playing in my mind and use my hands and body posture to describe what I see in my imagination. Like I was describing people during the Great Depression making dresses from calico cotton material that sacks of wheat flour came it. In my mind I saw a pink floral printed flower sack and beside it a blue printed floral design of large flowers and I was choosing my dress sewing cloth. I wonder what on earth I look like to people when I do that as I’m pointing at these invisible to them flour sacks that are in the recesses of my mind. I don’t realize how silly I may look to them until i’ve gone too far. I almost got bit by a dog once acting something out. When I try to remember how to spell or I need to refer to street signs, I see actual black print type on a white page. I don’t think I always have to see black type on a page but I catch it sometimes, maybe when more concentration is needed. My body is overly animated in conversation. I didn’t know I did it until I saw myself on a video clip on TV. Everyone stood perfectly still except me. I was bobbing about as I spoke. My daughter does it and I thought it silly until I found out I also do it. Most people stand perfectly still while talking.
 
As an nt becoming more aware of autism and what it is, I think this is really sad. That "our" way of acting, in this case standing perfectly still while talking, because we don't have the ability to picture things the same way as you do, is regarded normal. And that this defines reality for a lot of nt's.
I really don't mean to be disrespectful, I understand that it's easy for me as a neurotypical person to say this, as I have never experienced what you have. But seriously, I just wish the world wasn't like this. I wish you didn't have to feel that you need to stop doing what you are doing. I wish that more people would appreciate the differences, instead of pointing out that there is a right and wrong way of behaving.
 
@I love roses

"Most people stand perfectly still while talking."


I hope not. o_O
That wouldn't be very expressive of them, would it?

What you said reminded me of seeing Donna Williams in
videos, how she moved, using her whole body to communicate.

These are 2 videos I hunted up.
They show how expressive she was.

 
I don’t know if I move as much as her, but yes, like this, quite a lot. I think I developed this some time as an adult to diffuse stiff people or meeting strangers at gatherings. I do it to get my point across in describing something and I do it to appear a little silly sometimes in hopes to relax the other person because their rigidity scares me to death. But my waving arms and moving body as I close in on their face to concentrate scares the heck out of them. I close in their invisible protective circle and they take six steps back. If I move into their circle again, they will step back away from me even more. This is because I don’t hear well, dead in one ear, can’t block out crowd side conversations filling the room, and have to be close to them to concentrate on their facial expressions.

I feel totally relaxed watching her and enjoy her movements and relate to her. But not at all the stiff people. I view them internally as threatening and judging whether they are or not.

I could be best friends with someone like a Donna Williams. The movements make me feel more trusting and safe because she seems real.
 
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I've been told, and I am also aware myself, that I have expressive body movements when telling a story or talking about something. It is a natural way of functioning for me. The only confusion that arises is when I am referencing something in my mind's eye, then I end up pointing to something that appears to be behind the person I am speaking with. They will sometimes turn around expecting to see the thing I am referring to. It's comical. Using gestures when you speak is not weird. I agree with what @I love roses thinks about gestures. If the gestures are natural, the speaker is confirming a form of genuine belief in what they are saying.
 
I've been told, and I am also aware myself, that I have expressive body movements when telling a story or talking about something. It is a natural way of functioning for me. The only confusion that arises is when I am referencing something in my mind's eye, then I end up pointing to something that appears to be behind the person I am speaking with. They will sometimes turn around expecting to see the thing I am referring to. It's comical. Using gestures when you speak is not weird. I agree with what I love roses thinks about gestures. If the gestures are natural, the speaker is confirming a form of genuine belief in what they are saying.
But sometimes my mind pictures is so vivid I no longer see the person I’m not longer taking to. I go into that world. Another thing is in the 80’s when the speed limit was 55 mph in usa I used to speed a lot. The Hwy patrol were every where. I’d squint at each oncoming car a mile away to see if it had lights on top indicating it was a cop. My mind would actually put lights on top cars. At the cars got closer and easier to see, the lights I saw melted and vanished. This happened to a friend of mine as well. My mind in intense concentration will go into some kind of auto pilot. This was great in my job though. I did t have to think much and I could handle twice the number of customer service calls in half the time with dead on diagnostics and accuracy. I’ve heard this happen to deer hunters though and they actually shot people thinking they were deer.
 
As an nt becoming more aware of autism and what it is, I think this is really sad. That "our" way of acting, in this case standing perfectly still while talking, because we don't have the ability to picture things the same way as you do, is regarded normal. And that this defines reality for a lot of nt's.
I really don't mean to be disrespectful, I understand that it's easy for me as a neurotypical person to say this, as I have never experienced what you have. But seriously, I just wish the world wasn't like this. I wish you didn't have to feel that you need to stop doing what you are doing. I wish that more people would appreciate the differences, instead of pointing out that there is a right and wrong way of behaving.
I feel there needs to be more education in this. To be successful it is getting worse because now to get a job you have to pass EQ as well as IQ. Emotional intellegence. So something as simple like this would deter me from employment possibly.

Why isn’t diversity taught in EQ as long as the person isn’t violent or so different that they can’t fit in at all in a situation? We need an education movement for the general public that is positive, enlightening, engaging. Some school shootings are because of rejection even though most autistics are nonviolent.
 
I've been told, and I am also aware myself, that I have expressive body movements when telling a story or talking about something. It is a natural way of functioning for me. The only confusion that arises is when I am referencing something in my mind's eye, then I end up pointing to something that appears to be behind the person I am speaking with. They will sometimes turn around expecting to see the thing I am referring to. It's comical. Using gestures when you speak is not weird. I agree with what @I love roses thinks about gestures. If the gestures are natural, the speaker is confirming a form of genuine belief in what they are saying.
They really dont know what to do with us. We need an Aspie convention. The little people have theirs. (dwarfs, midgets, etc)
 
@I love roses

"Most people stand perfectly still while talking."


I hope not. o_O
That wouldn't be very expressive of them, would it?

What you said reminded me of seeing Donna Williams in
videos, how she moved, using her whole body to communicate.

These are 2 videos I hunted up.
They show how expressive she was.

Thanks for this @tree. How do you dig up stuff so fast. it’s almost like a computer search engine does it.
 
Who said they are expressive? All they are talking about is the same three things they always talk about. Please know i’m not an NT hater. We’ve all joked about Sports, kids, weather, the big three.
 
As an nt becoming more aware of autism and what it is, I think this is really sad. That "our" way of acting, in this case standing perfectly still while talking, because we don't have the ability to picture things the same way as you do, is regarded normal. And that this defines reality for a lot of nt's.
I really don't mean to be disrespectful, I understand that it's easy for me as a neurotypical person to say this, as I have never experienced what you have. But seriously, I just wish the world wasn't like this. I wish you didn't have to feel that you need to stop doing what you are doing. I wish that more people would appreciate the differences, instead of pointing out that there is a right and wrong way of behaving.
Hey, but you’re on this board and know the truth. Now if we can just turn on the light bulbs in everyone else.
 
@I love roses

"Most people stand perfectly still while talking."


I hope not. o_O
That wouldn't be very expressive of them, would it?

What you said reminded me of seeing Donna Williams in
videos, how she moved, using her whole body to communicate.

These are 2 videos I hunted up.
They show how expressive she was.


I talk like that, they always said if they tied my hands up I couldn't say a word....you mean it's an ASD thing??? I've really never paid attention to these things. Everyone seems to do it, or I really haven't noticed. ???
 
I’m more like Donna in that the whole body is used. Most people that are NT and use hands don’t use the whole body. Some of that is learned behavior. I just don’t see people as extreme as the Donna types. I don’t know if it Aspie or not. Donna thinks so I think. I just think people wonder what the heck i’m doing and why. I wish i knew how people view me but I don’t.
 
They don’t do it here where I live. But people are very conservative acting. I don’t mean just morally or politically but in speech and how they carry themselves. Very reserved. Anything less is low brow.
 
watch how donna moves. people who talk with their hands use smaller movement. Her arms are all over the place. I’m surprised she didn’t knock down the camera man and that is what scares people. It is deducted that we are unpredictable. maybe this is just something i’m internalizing. But i feel these negative vibes or energies from people. But they are warming up some since I started going on and on only about them to them. That seems to make them happy. But they still aren’t inviting me to coffee.
 
Yes, I do this too - I can't help it! My description or narrative has a kinetic element.
 
Most of my communicating outside of texting is through making gestures. Those who don't like it can lump it.
 
It horrifies me that you feel the need to go through so many painful and unnatural gyrations in your mind and trying to stop your natural flow of functioning just because someone may think you are odd.

You can try as hard as you like, but you are you and you don't need to change. People around you need to change to accept you because you are doing nothing wrong at all. People who know you and love you will love the way you do that! I think I would like it a lot! In fact, I think I do it, too, now that you mention it.

Please don't try to stop being who you are. You will not be able to stop being who are you anyway. You will only be able to fake, and to fake at very very great cost to your own well being.
 
I’m more like Donna in that the whole body is used. Most people that are NT and use hands don’t use the whole body. Some of that is learned behavior. I just don’t see people as extreme as the Donna types. I don’t know if it Aspie or not. Donna thinks so I think. I just think people wonder what the heck i’m doing and why. I wish i knew how people view me but I don’t.

Actually, in business, it is well known that when doing public speaking, one should use hands and arms while talking. Donna is doing what is considered good lecturing, or public speaking practice.
 

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