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Birthdays?

Sarek

Sarek

Active Member
Ever since I was a kid I hated my birthday. I used to get really excited for it, and it always seemed to go wrong. At some point I realized I was faking being happy about it and I felt strangely empty inside. It's a hard feeling to explain..

How do you guys feel when your birthday rolls around?
 
It doesn't feel like a special day to me at all. But I like the food and gifts I get :D and when the family is over at our home, after a while I go upstairs to prevent a meltdown or collapse. And when most people are on their way home, I come back downstairs again.
 
Sarek said:
I used to get really excited for it, and it always seemed to go wrong. At some point I realized I was faking being happy about it and I felt strangely empty inside. It's a hard feeling to explain..
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Exactly this.
It was kinda fun when I was a kid, but then I started hating my birthdays, especially because it always turned into a bad, unpleasant day. It still does.
 
I used to get so excited for my birthday when I was a kid... that all changed when I turned 13. It may have been something to do with having to listen to the other kids at school, who I thought were my friends, talk about the parties they went to, to which I wasn't invited. So when I had my birthday, I asked a few people if they wanted to come, and they didn't. I ended up spending the day with just my immediate family, which wasn't a bad thing, but that's when it hit me how socially isolated I really was. Each subsequent birthday up until my 17th brought back those unpleasant memories, until I just became indifferent to it. After all, I'm only going to be a little bit older, a little bit fatter and hairier than I was the year before! :p

My 21st is next month. I'm going on a zip line, but I don't want a party or anything. tbh, I'm past the stage of caring about that type of thing. I find it quite funny actually, as I have been invited to other people's birthdays during the past year, but decided not to go. People tell me I should go out more, or do something wild for my 21st, but I don't think I'm missing out on much.
 
CJinherPJs said:
My 21st is next month.
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Hope your 21 is better than mine. I spent the night in a pub with my boyfriend and a friend of his who was also in love with him. None of my other "friends" that I invited showed up. It was the worst.
 
A bit anxious. I'm going to get a lot of attention and I don't like that. But my parents will feed me something tasty. So I look forward to that. For many years, my grandfather would bake a loaf of banana nut bread for me on my birthday.
 
A yearly reminder that you are 1 year closer to dieing? Why do people celebrate that?

As a kid the only difference on the birthday than the other days was if dad remembered it there was an additional beating involved, the drunker he was the worse it was.

Certainly never got invited to anyone else's parties either, so I guess you could consider me rather jaded about the entire thing.
 
I wasn't ever invited too parties. So I didn't invite them neither. It was that simple, and it still is... I like the quietness. But I also really want to go to a party, but than I'm afraid I will be left all alone and I could've just stayed home.
 
Sarek said:
I used to get really excited for it, and it always seemed to go wrong. At some point I realized I was faking being happy about it and I felt strangely empty inside. It's a hard feeling to explain.
Click to expand...

This has increasingly come to my awareness. It's just been the past few years I started to realize that I'm excited for something that will never turn out the way I want it to...even if I could figure out what I really want. So I've stopped getting so excited, and that just leaves an emptiness, like you said.

Maybe my expectations are unrealistic, but it's not like I make out a huge birthday-wish-list that doesn't get fulfilled. I guess I'm just wanting something that can't be bought from Amazon or provided by the people around me. And birthdays just highlight the lack of it.
 
DogwoodTree said:
This has increasingly come to my awareness. It's just been the past few years I started to realize that I'm excited for something that will never turn out the way I want it to...even if I could figure out what I really want. So I've stopped getting so excited, and that just leaves an emptiness, like you said.

Maybe my expectations are unrealistic, but it's not like I make out a huge birthday-wish-list that doesn't get fulfilled. I guess I'm just wanting something that can't be bought from Amazon or provided by the people around me. And birthdays just highlight the lack of it.
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What is it you want then?
 
I struggle a bit with birthdays. I think it's the fact that the day get treated differently from any other, and I don't particularly want that (as if it does get treated differently then lots of emotions start happening and it's quite an overwhelming experience). My family are pretty awesome, and basically just treat it like it is any other day. We may get a takeaway or something, but we just carry on like it's an average day.
 
I used to remind my parents of my birthday in advance. I was afraid that if I didn't I wouldn't get any presents or any celebration at all. My parents didn't seem very enthusiastic about it. I actually ended up having a few nice birthdays, but most of the time it caused a lot of anxiety. Plus it was in summer and my friends were usually visiting their grandparents during that time. It was pretty common for a lot of people in the area where I grew up to send kids away to their grandparents for the entire summer. The fun started when I turned 16, I believe. My parties got more and more entertaining each year, until I got married and moved... so since then my birthdays are usually pretty quiet. Nowadays I usually go to the movies, then maybe do some shopping, then in the evening we go to a restaurant or something...
 
I love getting surprises on my birthday, and the cake too...I love birthday cake! :D
I don't do birthday parties though. :p
 
I've grown quite selfish with years. My birthday is a day I have for myself, so I try to do something I enjoy. I don't feel I have any obligations towards anyone to do anything special with them. If I feel like a party, I have a party, if I feel like doing absolutely nothing, I do absolutely nothing. I don't really like presents much, I feel they come with obligations.
 
Sarek said:
Ever since I was a kid I hated my birthday. I used to get really excited for it, and it always seemed to go wrong. At some point I realized I was faking being happy about it and I felt strangely empty inside. It's a hard feeling to explain..

How do you guys feel when your birthday rolls around?
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Same with me when I was a kid and it was just because I had no friends. My family made up for it though by making a cake and bring round presents etc.
 
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