Beware of Bullies Pretending To Be Good People

[All-Rounder]

Nowhere is safe is a rule of thumb. Even a person you thought you knew for years can and has turned against me. I dated a lot of toxic people claiming they were autistic, fact is they took advantage of my kindness, patience, big heart and a lot many other qualities I have to offer. Money is not the only profit in the world, more often it's humans.

Another wisdom is that people who claim they stand for something may very well be very against it. When was the last time you heard a person claim they were sexist, racist, etc? Don't trust them talk about themselves, you can have your own opinion.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

In high school, I did notice how some bullies pretended to be “nice” and friendly when adults were looking but then showed their true horrible selves once no one was looking. I had to live with someone I went to school with for six months in a group home and he acted “nice” in front of the staff but then would say passive aggressive stuff to me and the other residents even in front of the staff and none of us liked him. I even made it clear that I greatly despised the guy and made it no secret that I was only tolerating him because I had no other choice in the matter. The guy even made me furious when he said that I didn’t deserve to pass our biology class and that the teacher only gave me a passing grade just to get rid of me. Comments like that make me furious for good reason because I had to follow my sister into high school and she got straight A’s and went to Harvard and I had to work so hard to make sure the teacher didn’t think that I was a waste of time to teach because I thought that maybe they were comparing us and saw me as being inferior.

 

[Kayla55]

When you stuck on side of road it's normally a person with run down car who stops to help others, maybe this is what it is that makes nice people. Those who had to work for what they had, those with life experience.

 

[Boogs]

Yes, its part of why i don't call myself a good person

But equally, you shouldn't call yourself a bad person!

Way I see it, we all make good and bad decisions, and the reasons can be many and varied, but to judge someone in their entirety based on one or a few acts seems unlikely to show an accurate picture of what happened and why, except in the most extreme cases.
Personally I'd take that further to say that without the experience of making bad decisions, we can't genuinely change and (hopefully) improve. I never learnt much at all when I got things right.

 

[KevinMao133]

These screenshots below represent what the organizer said to me, a conversation between me of her

There will be never closure and I will always be the one who’s a criminal, because of the color of my skin

It’s a shame how vicious some people can be. I’m not a hateful person by any stretch but last couple days being overwhelming and devastating

 

[Kayla55]

When Brandon passed away, I was strangely in Cemetary.....perhaps chasing my own family demons.
I mostly went more quiet, under the radar. A family friend said to me (knew I was strange) that it's best to be silent and watch others....like true Jedi Knight.
I'm not saying just be silent, but refrain from having opinions until you clarify issues. When mouth is still, ears listen, then wisdom of the crow comes

Odd thing, is I was silent most of my years, never really bothering to explain, feeling it somewhat didn't matter, anyhow.
Despite my marriage I felt I didn't fit in, that I wasn't really accepted as I am, to this day I wonder if Darwin moth should not adapted white spot....just become black Darwin moth, despite being in company I was always feeling alone. (It may also be me projecting)

 

[Kayla55]

Racism and sexism will always exist, if you don't truly feel accepted then don't engage, be around people who uplift you. I like this musician, he promotes tribal

 

[thejuice]

I recall an article on the UK prison population, where they found the prevalence of ASD diagnoses was about 10 times that of the normal population. I wish I could recall where and reference it (and check my recall).

But it doesn't correlate criminality to ASD by any means, and I'd suspect a significant number were wrongly found guilty by juries unconvinced by their testimony in court, or were maybe more vulnerable to manipulation into criminal acts. That's just my personal guess though.

Also, I suspect that if there's a difference between ND's and NT's when it comes to breaking the law, the difference would be more in the kind of crimes committed rather than either group being more or less inclined to criminality.

Criminality is a complex aspect of society, with many roots and many motivations, and there are a great many different types of criminal, some of whom I'd trust more than certain upstanding pillars of the community.

As for a truly good person, I'm not sure such a beast exists in any kind of objective fashion. It's maybe easier to define a truly bad person, but even then, a level of subjectivity will always colour the view.
Rather than judge what a person is, I prefer to try and judge what they say and do, but the people themselves are usually much more complex than being 'good' or 'bad' and to label as such may be uninformative, even misleading.

That's shocking. I don't think ASDs would do well in prison at all, with the violent gang culture.

It wouldn't surprise me, that a different neurotype would more likely fall foul of another neurotypes rules. Rules that are often left unsaid and perhaps more intuitive to neurotypicals. They wouldn't understand which ones could be bent and which ones couldn't.

 

[blitzkrieg]

In response to the screenshot posted a few posts above:

"I celebrate feminism, and so should you" seems kind of culturally insensitive, for example, those who subscribe to Islamist beliefs may not necessarily be inclined towards feminist ideals.

Some types of Christian believers might similarly not agree with all aspects of feminism, particularly third or fourth wave feminism for example.

There is nothing wrong with being a feminist in and of itself, but there is something wrong with a person effectively coercing another person to believe in their beliefs via emotional manipulation, i.e, "if you are not a feminist, I think you are a bad person or if you are not a feminist, I find you offensive and do not wish to share space with you" etc.

 

[Kayla55]

That's shocking. I don't think ASDs would do well in prison at all, with the violent gang culture.

Nope not conducive environ, but disability was never in history a priveledged life, in fact slavery allocated specific jobs for this, and illness in bible such leprosy usually meant live outside of society. So disabled people have survived this world. I don't think all people always altogether accept disabilities.

 

[All-Rounder]

This happened before to a dude and she was probably thinking this is a specific woman dedicated topic and she didn't want men there. Try to avoid womens dedicated topics and not to vent about women into topics dedicated to womens issues, it doesn't help them cope with their problems.

I got banned for asking for links pro the claim of the topic but I did share the links I found saying I'm looking for a different perspective example. So yeah some places are particularly suspicious of trolling and making women uncomfortable or proving certain claims discussed wrong even without the intent. You have to be aware of how they will perceive it and that it could bother people or give the impression you're trying to argue the fact.

Feminism should be celebrated indeed, and you need to prove you don't have biases towards women or if you do that you can avoid exposing them there, to surpass the ban. Also awareness of what you did they dislike and the promise of self control, that you won't do it again. Your reply shows a lot of lack of understanding or willing to take upon the other side's perspectives, and emotionally based decisions, but I don't blane you, a ban is not the most pleasant of things.

As our Forum has steered towards a less progressive place and was also never really leftist in the past I think people leaning into that extreme need to be more aware when they step off the site.

But I don't know what happened or what you said so without that I can only speculate and I speculate from what she said in her replies.

 

[Boogs]

That's shocking. I don't think ASDs would do well in prison at all, with the violent gang culture.

It wouldn't surprise me, that a different neurotype would more likely fall foul of another neurotypes rules. Rules that are often left unsaid and perhaps more intuitive to neurotypicals. They wouldn't understand which ones could be bent and which ones couldn't.

My guess, uneducated as it is, is that an autistic person may well have enormous trouble showing an NT, be they police, witness, jury, whatever, that they are innocent of whatever accused of by showing the requisite emotional response. After being in three juries, I can promise that some juror's have struggles to separate fact from personal opinion, even when it's show to them they'll prefer to fall back on how it feel's, or how much they liked or disliked a defendant.
Then on top of that, some ND's will be far more vulnerable to manipulation into criminal involvement against their natural desires.
End result - autistic people are more likely to end up behind bars for the wrong reasons, and how awful that must be I can hardly imagine.

 

[thejuice]

My guess, uneducated as it is, is that an autistic person may well have enormous trouble showing an NT, be they police, witness, jury, whatever, that they are innocent of whatever accused of by showing the requisite emotional response. After being in three juries, I can promise that some juror's have struggles to separate fact from personal opinion, even when it's show to them they'll prefer to fall back on how it feel's, or how much they liked or disliked a defendant.
Then on top of that, some ND's will be far more vulnerable to manipulation into criminal involvement against their natural desires.
End result - autistic people are more likely to end up behind bars for the wrong reasons, and how awful that must be I can hardly imagine.

Yes on top of autistics not displaying the required outward emotional reactions, we suffer from the devil effect too. Not to mention the juries propensity for group think and how one person will likely be the 'thought leader'. That's why I am against the DP.

Not to mention that an admission of autism is seen as a weaselly excuse if you happen to fall into the uncanny valley and not the sympathetic kind of autism. (Not that it IS a get out of jail card) But understanding is always preferable to ignorance.

 

[thejuice]

In response to the screenshot posted a few posts above:

"I celebrate feminism, and so should you" seems kind of culturally insensitive, for example, those who subscribe to Islamist beliefs may not necessarily be inclined towards feminist ideals.

Some types of Christian believers might similarly not agree with all aspects of feminism, particularly third or fourth wave feminism for example.

There is nothing wrong with being a feminist in and of itself, but there is something wrong with a person effectively coercing another person to believe in their beliefs via emotional manipulation, i.e, "if you are not a feminist, I think you are a bad person or if you are not a feminist, I find you offensive and do not wish to share space with you" etc.

Yes you'll get the standard "if you're not a feminist, youre against equality"
Which shows how little attention they pay to what they actually do and believe.
Of course most civilised people are egalitarian.
Also the problem is feminism is practically indefinable, even feminists can't agree on what it actually is. You have loads of different subtypes.

 

[GrownupGirl]

Some autistic people are nice, and some are not. I believe the problem with the latter is because we're human.

 

[thejuice]

We Aspies tend to be rule driven, but don't share the same rules. Great source of conflict right there.

Men's soccer has to be the greatest example of neurotypical rules and values. I would speculate the lack of integrity, loyalty and fairness is utterly alien to the neurodiverse.

 

[thejuice]

As our Forum has steered towards a less progressive place

If you go to a doctor and they say it's progressive, it's usually bad news. (JOKING )

I have no idea the identity of this place but diversity of thought and tolerance of difference, within reason, is a source of strength. Otherwise we're just sticking our head in the ground and shouting "lalala" when people say something we don't like.

 

[All-Rounder]

If you go to a doctor and they say it's progressive, it's usually bad news. (JOKING )

I have no idea the identity of this place but diversity of thought and tolerance of difference, within reason, is a source of strength. Otherwise we're just sticking our head in the ground and shouting "lalala" when people say something we don't like.

That's not a joke, that's sarcasm.

Difference should be celebrated within sense. What I don't tolerate is lathering hatred onto others while claiming reason and me witnessing it. It's one of the most vile and manipulative things possible.

 

[velociraptor]

Men's soccer has to be the greatest example of neurotypical rules and values.

I honestly wouldn't know. I am fifty-five years old and I have yet to watch a single match of men's soccer. Or women's.

 

[Boogs]

I honestly wouldn't know. I am fifty-five years old and I have yet to watch a single match of men's soccer. Or women's.

I have to confess, once or twice I've been round a friends house and they've been watching a match on TV. I tried to escape, but they tied me down to the seat with eye-lid openers and a dose of something called serum 114 while playing Ode to Joy in the background...

...and far worse, they never explained the off-side rule!!!!!!