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Being and living asexual

Aspie_With_Attitude

Aspie_With_Attitude

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I had just realised what Asexuality means I have realised the whole time I am an asexual.

Looked into it further, I had found there are females who are asexual and it's put me into a position that I am almost ready to have a relationship. After reading about asexuality, I feel more attracted to female asexuals and I am actually finding them very attractive.

Are there any asexuals posting on these forums?

I like to find out more what life is all about being an asexual.
 
My wife qualifies as asexual, in the sense that a partner is not needed. She has expressed to me on at least two occasions and quite matter-of-factly, that she does not need sex. She is a regular masturbator however, and usually has something on the order of a dozen "Os" per session. I suspected as much during the honeymoon, when I was often turned down. Her behavior was different prior to the wedding. Asexuality is a spectrum. The ding for her is that I have discovered that I would just as soon live like Judge does at this point in my life. My 'sister' and I are now raising kids, the making of which constituted the only sexual initiations on her part since our marriage. By the way, I have confronted her about this and she denies being asexual.
 
I'm asexual! I don't really know what to say about what it's like since it's all I've ever known. It's more of an absence of behaviors and thoughts, but it's hard to know exactly what the absence is if it was never present. I just say that it's mostly an absence based on my observations of others. But I think it's a large part of what makes me feel as if I'm not the same species as the people around me.
 
I'm Asexual.
Actually what is termed romantic-asexual.
I've only had a few intimate relationships.
By that, I mean I have felt drawn to a few men in an emotional romantic way.
But, I never had the desire for sex. This can be worked around if you find someone
who is satisfied with cuddles and petting or masturbation only.
I never had the desire for children or marriage, so being romantic/asexual worked well for me.
I was in my 20's before I ever even dated or felt any type of romantic draw towards someone.

I would describe it as being capable of having all the warm fuzzy feelings of romance
like others say they do, only without the sexual desire.
I did get curious with one man I felt the "in love" feeling for in my 20's and "experimented."
Once was enough to know it just wasn't for me.
 
My understanding is that it's a lack of physical desire for sex. It means that arousal does not logically lead to sex, the same way arousal would not logically lead to watching television. "I'm horny, let's watch television!" would be just as logical as, "I'm horny, let's have sex!"

To be clear, it doesn't mean you can't have sex or can't enjoy sex, but maintaining arousal could be difficult. I've had sex many many times with several different people. I enjoyed it with one of those people. The rest felt like I was being raped to the point where I wondered idly if I was. I consented to please them because I wanted to be with them and be cared about and all those non-sexual things, and I figured those things wouldn't last long if they didn't get what they wanted. And they were much kinder and more caring afterwards, usually thinking they loved me.

Luckily, I haven't done this in years. I have zero desire for any of that now. One step further from the humans, I go!
 
I am either asexual or hypersexual.

Current mood is asexual.

I rather a good hearty chat than getting dirty and smelly, is how I see sex.

I have had momentary sensations, but they do not last long.

I was sexually touched on several occasions by father and have this thing that I am here to please my husband and I try, but feel unemotional about it.

Very hard being mostly asexual and married to a very sexual man. He does try to see my view, and I do see his, so we think of other ways.
 
I'm asexual. Not sure what to say about it really, I've always been asexual, so don't really have any other way of being to compare it to. I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, I have a normal libido, I am generally sex averse... it doesn't really have any impact on my life. Life as an asexual is all about... living a normal life, while happening to be asexual.

Crossbreed said:
I don't believe that a true asexual male would ever make such a statement.
Click to expand...
Well that depends on the type of attraction he's talking about. If he means he's sexually attracted to asexual women, then he's not asexual, but he could mean romantic attraction.
 
My sister is an aromantic asexual and as it is a spectrum of needs/wants/tolerances, I guess I'm probably on there too but less strongly as her. Some asexuals don't like any kind of romantic contact past a hug and some tolerate more. My sister as far as I know has no libido and has no interest in anything sexual at all. I'm more open to the idea and have had plenty of romantic relationships, but can go without intercourse for years and not miss it at all.
 
I was made asexual by extreme and continued abuse. Now I cannot even stand to be touched. I don't miss it. It would make me physically ill at this point. But that energy can be used for other purposes, other pursuits.
 
Aspie_With_Attitude said:
Just making sure to understand what asexuality is. If I film a YouTube episode to shed furthermore light on the subject, I wouldn't want to make an idiot out of myself.
Click to expand...
If you want to understand better it might be a good idea to actually ask some questions, or maybe tell us some more about why you think you're asexual.
 
Aspie_With_Attitude said:
I had just realised what Asexuality means I have realised the whole time I am an asexual.

Looked into it further, I had found there are females who are asexual and it's put me into a position that I am almost ready to have a relationship. After reading about asexuality, I feel more attracted to female asexuals and I am actually finding them very attractive.

Are there any asexuals posting on these forums?

I like to find out more what life is all about being an asexual.
Click to expand...

What I don't understand about this is why you would even care about having a relationship with anyone if you really were asexual. Isn't asexuality basically all about not being interested in that kind of thing?
 
SusanLR said:
I'm Asexual.
Actually what is termed romantic-asexual.
I've only had a few intimate relationships.
Click to expand...

I haven't been in any relationships at all, so does that make me asexual as well? I'm pretty sure I'm not, and that this failure of mine has been largely due to how utterly clueless I am when it comes to understanding things like flirting, body language, what people really want (as opposed to what they say they want), how relationships actually work, et cetera. What doesn't make sense to me is how anyone can still crave romance if they are asexual. If they happen to be male and want a romantic relationship with a female, doesn't that make them hetero?
 
Tesseract said:
What doesn't make sense to me is how anyone can still crave romance if they are asexual. If they happen to be male and want a romantic relationship with a female, doesn't that make them hetero?
Click to expand...

Not everyone views romance as a precursor for sex. Some enjoy romance for it's own sake. No matter what their sexual orientation may be.

As another facet of human behavior, I wouldn't spend much effort trying to make sense out of it.

Conversely for me sex is easy. Romance is not.
 
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