Autism validation

[Magna]

@Kevin L. I have to say that I admire you greatly. I'm honored to be part of an autism forum that you're a part of because you are bravely advocating for yourself and in the process you're also a voice for autistic people everywhere. You're a voice for people with disabilities in general. You are politely thanking people here for our input, but I want to thank YOU for what you're doing. Not only are you standing up for yourself, you're helping others in ways that you may not have realized.

 

[Kevin L.]

@Kevin L. I have to say that I admire you greatly. I'm honored to be part of an autism forum that you're a part of because you are bravely advocating for yourself and in the process you're also a voice for autistic people everywhere. You're a voice for people with disabilities in general. You are politely thanking people here for our input, but I want to thank YOU for what you're doing. Not only are you standing up for yourself, you're helping others in ways that you may not have realized.

Thank you very much.

 

[Tom]

By that logic, the possibilities are endless. I could therefore choose to be a Raccoon for instance, or a Clam. I have always wanted to be a Bivalve.

 

[James45]

By that logic, the possibilities are endless. I could therefore choose to be a Raccoon for instance, or a Clam. I have always wanted to be a Bivalve.

Filter feeding is the future

 

[Magna]

@Kevin L. About you wearing dark glasses to block out the fluorescent lights. Would this/these same professor/professors be offended at a blind person wearing dark glasses in class? If not, I wonder what their justification is being offended that you do it to block out the intensity of the lights?

Being a fellow person with light sensitivity (not as bad as my smell and hearing sensitivities which are extreme) I'll share info that's helped me a great deal: There is a special and specific tint for glasses which is known in the optical industry as: FL-41 The tint is excellent at blocking blue spectrum lights such as what is emitted from computer screens and fluorescent lights. The FL-41 tint is available in light tint, medium or dark. If you wear prescription eyeglasses even if the optician isn't familiar with FL-41 the lab that makes their glasses would be familiar and can give the optician samples of the different FL-41 tint gradients.

For those who do not wear prescription eyeglasses, there is a company called Theraspecs that makes non-prescription eyeglasses with FL-41 tints in many styles. I'm not affiliated with that company at all, but one of our autistic children wears a pair of theraspecs in school to avoid migraines that can be triggered by all day under fluorescent lights.

 

[Berkana]

Hi guys.

One thing I've heard for much of my adult life from my family--and now I'm hearing it from college professors--is the following statement:

"Autistic people usually have a special, obsessive, all-consuming interest. If you made normalcy your special interest, than you wouldn't be autistic anymore . . . and since you choose to not make normalcy your special interest . . . well . . . that's why you choose to be autistic."

How does an autistic person respond to this in a positive, healthy way?

I get this from my family, my management at work, and the administration and/or professors at school.

What does one say in response to this?

I'm sorry that this is in your world right now. It's an unfortunate and incredibly ignorant way of thinking, in my opinion.

After having a moment to think about it I may respond with, "Do you have any hobbies that you love to do that bring you comfort and joy? (they probably have something), cool, what's something you're not interested in that other people are? (Again, probably something). Cool, I noticed that you think we're so different that I could choose to have an all-consuming interest when you yourself would have a hard time with (whatever their answer was) being an enjoyable hobby. It's kind of like that, I don't choose my interests, it feels like they choose me, like how you enjoy (blank over blank). I'd say we're similar in that way. We're both people... You believe there's a choice in this, and there's not for me.... and it doesn't sound like there is for you either. With all the data and science out there in this day and age, I'm a little surprised that you see things this way. Ultimately, it's curious to me that you think that's what it's like to be me when the assumption is so inaccurate. People are interesting."

As an addition, so many people DO hide ADS from people all the time, and in reflection of my personal experience, I'm not fooling people as much as I thought I was with my masking. They don't necessarily think, "aspie", instead they think "weirdo" or if they're generous with me, "quirky", which is fine, but I don't think I've ever passed as "normal."

 

[Au Naturel]

Hi guys.

One thing I've heard for much of my adult life from my family--and now I'm hearing it from college professors--is the following statement:

"Autistic people usually have a special, obsessive, all-consuming interest. If you made normalcy your special interest, than you wouldn't be autistic anymore . . . and since you choose to not make normalcy your special interest . . . well . . . that's why you choose to be autistic."

How does an autistic person respond to this in a positive, healthy way?

I get this from my family, my management at work, and the administration and/or professors at school.

What does one say in response to this?

You say, "It isn't a choice." Then walk away.

 

[Kevin L.]

@Kevin L. About you wearing dark glasses to block out the fluorescent lights. Would this/these same professor/professors be offended at a blind person wearing dark glasses in class? If not, I wonder what their justification is being offended that you do it to block out the intensity of the lights?

Being a fellow person with light sensitivity (not as bad as my smell and hearing sensitivities which are extreme) I'll share info that's helped me a great deal: There is a special and specific tint for glasses which is known in the optical industry as: FL-41 The tint is excellent at blocking blue spectrum lights such as what is emitted from computer screens and fluorescent lights. The FL-41 tint is available in light tint, medium or dark. If you wear prescription eyeglasses even if the optician isn't familiar with FL-41 the lab that makes their glasses would be familiar and can give the optician samples of the different FL-41 tint gradients.

For those who do not wear prescription eyeglasses, there is a company called Theraspecs that makes non-prescription eyeglasses with FL-41 tints in many styles. I'm not affiliated with that company at all, but one of our autistic children wears a pair of theraspecs in school to avoid migraines that can be triggered by all day under fluorescent lights.

Thank you.

I have actually found lightly tinted glasses that are comfortable, and work very well for me.

Part of the problem is that there are "James Bond" Internet access glasses that allow one to covertly access the Internet for the purposes of cheating and academic dishonesty.

Internet-connected glasses

So--as a consequence--sunglasses are not allowed in class. Just keep in mind that this is something I assume from offhand comments that I've overheard, and I don't know if this is a specific college policy.

I have gotten very angry (at a prior school) when an albino student (my study partner, actually) was allowed to wear dark glasses, but I wasn't . . . as I didn't have a "medical need."

Part of the other reason why sunglasses and visors are a problem probably has to do with drug abuse. Professors don't want a chemistry student (for example) handling Bunsen burners, flammable liquids, and corrosive acids while they are under the influence of substances . . . for obvious safety reasons.

There are people who seem able to tell if someone is doing drugs just by looking in their eyes and--as a paramedic--I count myself in this category, as nystagmus (a type of eye movement) and pupil dilation are indicators of drug use, and I've been trained to evaluate these signs when assessing a patient.

 

[Kevin L.]

I'm sorry that this is in your world right now. It's an unfortunate and incredibly ignorant way of thinking, in my opinion.

After having a moment to think about it I may respond with, "Do you have any hobbies that you love to do that bring you comfort and joy? (they probably have something), cool, what's something you're not interested in that other people are? (Again, probably something). Cool, I noticed that you think we're so different that I could choose to have an all-consuming interest when you yourself would have a hard time with (whatever their answer was) being an enjoyable hobby. It's kind of like that, I don't choose my interests, it feels like they choose me, like how you enjoy (blank over blank). I'd say we're similar in that way. We're both people... You believe there's a choice in this, and there's not for me.... and it doesn't sound like there is for you either. With all the data and science out there in this day and age, I'm a little surprised that you see things this way. Ultimately, it's curious to me that you think that's what it's like to be me when the assumption is so inaccurate. People are interesting."

As an addition, so many people DO hide ADS from people all the time, and in reflection of my personal experience, I'm not fooling people as much as I thought I was with my masking. They don't necessarily think, "aspie", instead they think "weirdo" or if they're generous with me, "quirky", which is fine, but I don't think I've ever passed as "normal."

Thank you very much.

 

[Kevin L.]

Thank you.

I have actually found lightly tinted glasses that are comfortable, and work very well for me.

Part of the problem is that there are "James Bond" Internet access glasses that allow one to covertly access the Internet for the purposes of cheating and academic dishonesty.

Internet-connected glasses

So--as a consequence--sunglasses are not allowed in class. Just keep in mind that this is something I assume from offhand comments that I've overheard, and I don't know if this is a specific college policy.

I have gotten very angry (at a prior school) when an albino student (my study partner, actually) was allowed to wear dark glasses, but I wasn't . . . as I didn't have a "medical need."

Part of the other reason why sunglasses and visors are a problem probably has to do with drug abuse. Professors don't want a chemistry student (for example) handling Bunsen burners, flammable liquids, and corrosive acids while they are under the influence of substances . . . for obvious safety reasons.

There are people who seem able to tell if someone is doing drugs just by looking in their eyes and--as a paramedic--I count myself in this category, as nystagmus (a type of eye movement) and pupil dilation are indicators of drug use, and I've been trained to evaluate these signs when assessing a patient.

I forgot to add that I am very sympathetic in the school's desire to inhibit academic dishonesty, and a fellow student whom is screwed up on drugs can just as easily burn me in a chemistry lab class if such a student was handling caustic chemicals, so I would like to figure out how both the school and I can get what each side needs. I don't want to fault a professor for trying to maintain a safe environment.

The problem is how to accomplish this without alienating a professor because I think that " . . . the rules don't apply to me because I have a sense of entitlement."

 

[Kevin L.]

You say, "It isn't a choice." Then walk away.

Thank you.

 

[clg114]

I would explain that we are born this way and will die this way. There was not a choice. This is why I do not tell people that I am autistic, because most of them will not understand.

 

[Suzette]

The problem is how to accomplish this without alienating a professor because I think that " . . . the rules don't apply to me because I have a sense of entitlement."

This is why I suggest contacting a disability lawyer. Not to be litigious but to help you write an argument based in reason and facts. You need to know exactly what the law says and exactly what the responsibility of the university to uphold the law and how your professors may be, unknowingly, in err of that law.
In mediation between you (armed with your newly minted facts and arguments), the disability department and your professors, you can outline your exact lawful accomodations and how your professors must comply without retaliation.

 

[rach3rd]

Hi guys.

One thing I've heard for much of my adult life from my family--and now I'm hearing it from college professors--is the following statement:

"Autistic people usually have a special, obsessive, all-consuming interest. If you made normalcy your special interest, than you wouldn't be autistic anymore . . . and since you choose to not make normalcy your special interest . . . well . . . that's why you choose to be autistic."

How does an autistic person respond to this in a positive, healthy way?

I get this from my family, my management at work, and the administration and/or professors at school.

What does one say in response to this?

Autism isn't just having a single characteristic like being obsessive about a special interest. Rather it is a suite of many characteristics an individual must have to be diagnosed. And an individual will not have all possible characteristics, but a subset of them. Changing an obsessive interests focus from one thing to another, like to "normalcy", doesn't change the fact that the individual is still being obsessive about it. And being obsessive about a special interest is the important point, not what the individual is obsessing about.

 

[unperson]

'Rise up and walk' worked for Jesus, but whoever is telling you this stuff aint Jesus. There is something to what they're saying, in that all NTs speccy interest/obsession is social.

I don't think it's a matter of you coming up with a rejoinder that will end/change this, it's a power relation thing. Being righter than authority figures can end up in what they call a Pyrrhic Victory. A victory you'll regret.

University lecturers were often creeps, well at my uni anyway. Unless this guys courses are essential for majors, I'd dodge him and his classes. I just had to grit my teeth and tell myself 'you're not leaving without that qualification' - it's a time limited thing and you've just gotta let that clock tick down till then.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Hi guys.

One thing I've heard for much of my adult life from my family--and now I'm hearing it from college professors--is the following statement:

"Autistic people usually have a special, obsessive, all-consuming interest. If you made normalcy your special interest, than you wouldn't be autistic anymore . . . and since you choose to not make normalcy your special interest . . . well . . . that's why you choose to be autistic."

How does an autistic person respond to this in a positive, healthy way?

I get this from my family, my management at work, and the administration and/or professors at school.

What does one say in response to this?

Ever hear of the Dunning-Kruger phenomenon? In a nutshell, it's when someone has just enough knowledge on a topic that they think they're an expert and can have something to say on the topic,...but not enough to realize they are wrong. If you are an adult with an Asperger's condition, or some similar variant, you don't act like a severely affected child,...so you don't have autism in their mind. I was stunned by a 2018 video on autism in France

where they still treat it as an acquired psychiatric issue,...and are often putting the blame onto the parents. So, even modern, first-world countries can have very antiquated views on certain topics.

How do you respond to this in a positive, healthy way? I am not sure anyone has the correct answer to that conundrum. It's highly individualized.

 

[Au Naturel]

I forgot to add that I am very sympathetic in the school's desire to inhibit academic dishonesty, and a fellow student whom is screwed up on drugs can just as easily burn me in a chemistry lab class if such a student was handling caustic chemicals, so I would like to figure out how both the school and I can get what each side needs. I don't want to fault a professor for trying to maintain a safe environment.

The problem is how to accomplish this without alienating a professor because I think that " . . . the rules don't apply to me because I have a sense of entitlement."

I would say that the "problem" is that tests are geared towards memorization of large amounts of data and not fundamental principles and your ability to apply them in novel situations. That's entirely laziness on the part of the prof. A scientist working on a project doesn't sit there thinking that they can't reference the existing work on an issue by other scientists because he is "cheating."

Open book tests are the best.

 

[Kevin L.]

Ever hear of the Dunning-Kruger phenomenon? In a nutshell, it's when someone has just enough knowledge on a topic that they think they're an expert and can have something to say on the topic,...but not enough to realize they are wrong. If you are an adult with an Asperger's condition, or some similar variant, you don't act like a severely affected child,...so you don't have autism in their mind. I was stunned by a 2018 video on autism in France

where they still treat it as an acquired psychiatric issue,...and are often putting the blame onto the parents. So, even modern, first-world countries can have very antiquated views on certain topics.

How do you respond to this in a positive, healthy way? I am not sure anyone has the correct answer to that conundrum. It's highly individualized.

Thank you for including that video.

When I was a kid (and this didn't happen to me, so I'm not trying to elicit sympathy), there were any number of teachers and psychologists whom believed that beating a child with autism could help "cure" the disorder.

The reasoning behind this position is that autistic kids are lost in their own little world, so hitting them would "shock them back into reality," as flight or fight brings you into the moment.

Young brains are flexible (this is why small children learn languages better), so beating them painfully when they're lost in their own little world will train the brain to be in the moment, and the autistic child will turn away from their own little world, and not be autistic anymore.

I was told--in school--that people hallucinate and the mind turns inward when someone is floating in a sensory deprivation tank, so autism is probably caused by an infant's mind and senses becoming aware inside the womb . . . which then becomes the equivalent of floating in a sensory deprivation tank for a month or six weeks before birth . . . and this is what causes autism.

The beatings are then threaputic, as the pain overcomes the consequences of the sensory deprivation experience while the brain is still immature and able to remodel itself somewhat.

At least this was the theory, and no--I was not subjected to theraputic beatings, so I'm not eliciting sympathy for something that didn't happen to me.

I'm bringing it up because I wonder if many of my older professors still buy into this garbage, and are thinking that I'm just spoiled because my family didn't care enough to beat me out of my autism.

 

[Kevin L.]

I would say that the "problem" is that tests are geared towards memorization of large amounts of data and not fundamental principles and your ability to apply them in novel situations. That's entirely laziness on the part of the prof. A scientist working on a project doesn't sit there thinking that they can't reference the existing work on an issue by other scientists because he is "cheating."

Open book tests are the best.

Thank you.

 

[Kevin L.]

'Rise up and walk' worked for Jesus, but whoever is telling you this stuff aint Jesus. There is something to what they're saying, in that all NTs speccy interest/obsession is social.

I don't think it's a matter of you coming up with a rejoinder that will end/change this, it's a power relation thing. Being righter than authority figures can end up in what they call a Pyrrhic Victory. A victory you'll regret.

University lecturers were often creeps, well at my uni anyway. Unless this guys courses are essential for majors, I'd dodge him and his classes. I just had to grit my teeth and tell myself 'you're not leaving without that qualification' - it's a time limited thing and you've just gotta let that clock tick down till then.

Thank you for replying.