Autism validation

[Kevin L.]

Autism isn't just having a single characteristic like being obsessive about a special interest. Rather it is a suite of many characteristics an individual must have to be diagnosed. And an individual will not have all possible characteristics, but a subset of them. Changing an obsessive interests focus from one thing to another, like to "normalcy", doesn't change the fact that the individual is still being obsessive about it. And being obsessive about a special interest is the important point, not what the individual is obsessing about.

Thank you very much.

 

[Au Naturel]

Professors are naturally lazy. Many of them are experts in their own field but step outside of that field and they are 50 years behind in their awareness. Plus a lot of profs feel entitled to subservience because of their exalted position. Being a highly degreed academic does not make one a better person.

 

[Kevin L.]

Professors are naturally lazy. Many of them are experts in their own field but step outside of that field and they are 50 years behind in their awareness. Plus a lot of profs feel entitled to subservience because of their exalted position. Being a highly degreed academic does not make one a better person.

Thank you very much.

 

[Kevin L.]

Sounds like they are just deliberately insulting you, you need to come up some other clever insults you can get away with, not just something common. NT insult often in ways that aren't very obvious and hard to call out.
These professors are deliberately being hostile to you, they aren't ignorant.

Thank you.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I think you need to get a college mediator involved. It sounds to me that these professors are willfully ignoring your needs. Obviously you can not continue to plead with disability services. You need higher authority here because narcississts like your professors are going to continue to hamstring you and up the ante. You need to "kick them in the balls" so to speak and get their attention.

Consider bringing this to a disability lawyer to help you decide how best to proceed and help you draft an agument your professors can not ignore.

Best of luck to you!

I concur. What was said to you is gratuitously cruel and has no place in academics, especially from an instructor. Reading how colleges dismiss harm to students, even for sexual assault makes me angry. From working to college it sounds like you are doing your damnest to create a good life for yourself and being exposed to such deliberate bias is beyond the pale. I hope there will be a legal mind in your corner to assist advocating for yourself. Have you thought to speak with the one prof who understands you?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

not all Professors are cut from the same mould, many are eccentric, probably fellow Aspies. going out for dinner wife my wife with a professor of chemistry tomorrow.

 

[Kevin L.]

I concur. What was said to you is gratuitously cruel and has no place in academics, especially from an instructor. Reading how colleges dismiss harm to students, even for sexual assault makes me angry. From working to college it sounds like you are doing your damnest to create a good life for yourself and being exposed to such deliberate bias is beyond the pale. I hope there will be a legal mind in your corner to assist advocating for yourself. Have you thought to speak with the one prof who understands you?

Thank you.

I have been trying to work with both disability services and our diversity co-ordinator.

My one understanding professor doesn't wish to get involved beyond the scope of his expertise, but he has referred me to other counselors who may help.

The consensus is that if I'm smart enough to be a paramedic, then I'm smart enough to know how to "not be autistic."

My whole life, everyone has said that I choose to be the way that I am . . . because I don't work to fix it.

After all, understanding people socially is not rocket science. The whole rest of the world understands, so the only reason why I don't understand is because I don't try.

This is why I'm a loser . . . because I choose to be. As an example, I don't see certian distinctions in social situations that everyone else grasps right away . . . so I bring everything on myself, like an alcoholic or a drug addict whom won't get sober.

As an example, I was a paramedic, and our medical director sat on the faculty of a local university.

I got assigned a nurse (through an elective course on emergency medicine) as student rider, and he was working on his advance practice nurse practitioner.

We had a 911 call on a very sick 9 year old kid whom was fighting an aggressive form of pediatric leukemia, and also had Type 1 diabetes ("juvenile diabetes"l) at the same time. He was undergoing intense chemotherapy, and was very, very ill.

My instincts were telling me that I was missing something . . .and my student had over 7 years experience in the pediatric intensive care unit, so I swallowed my ego, put him in charge, and delegated myself to taking orders from him.

He performed magnificently, and saved the kid's life.

Here's were I get to the point: My student was very effeminate in a way that would cause many people to assume that he's gay (and yes, he was very gay).

The parents--devoutly religious--were incensed that I let a "sexual pervert and deviant" touch their child, as the "vast, overwhelming majority of homosexuals are pedophiles." I exposed their son to "homosexualist influences" during a "delicate stage in his masculine developement," so if this kid grew up to be gay, then I would be partly to blame . . . because nobody is ever born gay "because God doesn't make mistakes."

These people had their whole congregation sign off on a letter of protest, and they contacted their congressman.

When I pointed out that my student saved the kid's life, I was told that "the ends don't justify the means," and by putting my highly qualified student in charge--it was like forcing a blood transfusion on a Jehova's Witness. I--evidentally--didn't perceive the parents' religious discomfort with a gay man, as I was intensely focused (in autistic fashion) on saving the kid's life.

My lack of social savvy creates issues like this all of the time, and it sabotages my schooling and my work.

Everyone believes that I intentionally create these situations as a way of trying to bend the world to my values rather than conforming to the world . . . so my autism is an excuse to control other people and dismiss their values.

This was despite instructions to give my student as much authentic EMS experience as could be managed.

I really don't understand the world.

 

[Kevin L.]

If anyone questions my recollection and/or perception of these events, then consider that a lesbian was prevented--by the hospital--from visiting her dying partner of 18 years because Florida is an "anti-gay state" per the hospital administrators that were involved. The partner passed away by herself despite power of attorney paperwork that was furnished to the hospital. See below:

Langbehn v. PUBLIC HEALTH TRUST OF MIAMI-DADE

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I actually like the way you think. I cannot think of any social calculation that would not end up with other than what you did. Haters gotta hate. They are an object lesson in the difference between (ignorant) morals and ethics.

Growing up on the 50s through 70s, Autism was rarely recognized so similar to your experience:

• I was intelligent so people thought that I was normal.
• I was alone in social situations and for many things revolving around school, never participated, and everybody thought it was my choice.
• But, I was lucky to have a career that traded off my way of problem solving and where my expertise is in demand.
• Yet, I was isolated, and was blind to social communication. Not a deficit in my work, but my personal life suffered.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

If anyone questions my recollection and/or perception of these events, then consider that a lesbian was prevented--by the hospital--from visiting her dying partner of 18 years because Florida is an "anti-gay state" per the hospital administrators that were involved. The partner passed away by herself despite power of attorney paperwork that was furnished to the hospital. See below:

Langbehn v. PUBLIC HEALTH TRUST OF MIAMI-DADE

There was no frowny face selection. I fear that our society is become excessively cruel.

 

[SDRSpark]

"Autistic people usually have a special, obsessive, all-consuming interest. If you made normalcy your special interest, than you wouldn't be autistic anymore . . . and since you choose to not make normalcy your special interest . . . well . . . that's why you choose to be autistic."

How does an autistic person respond to this in a positive, healthy way?

They...said...what????

You don't respond to that in a positive, healthy way. You laugh hysterically at the absurdity of the statement and walk away.

OK, maybe you shouldn't do that. But it's probably what I would do. Or maybe that IS a positive and healthy way to deal with it, because you can't convince some people but you can protect themselves from them.

 

[SDRSpark]

• Would the same professors say that a person with Tourette Syndrome should just choose to stop their tics? Why not? They're just choosing to have tics I guess.

• How about telling someone with ADHD that they should just choose to focus more and if they're trying hard enough their ADHD will be gone? I guess they're just choosing to have ADHD.

• Depression: Someone should just choose to happy, right? It should be that easy. I guess they're just choosing to be depressed.

• I guess autistic people like myself who have strong sensitivities to things like sound, touch, taste, light, smell. We should just try harder to stop having those sensitivities. If we still have them I guess that means we're choosing those sensitivities.

They 110% would say these things.

People believe that mental/neurological issues aren't real issues. "It's all in your head" (where the heck else would it be? Last time I checked, my head is where my BRAIN is!)

The thing is, that mental and neurological issues ARE physical issues - they are physical differences in the structure or function of the brain. PTSD is clearly visible on a qualitative EEG for example.

I can't CHOOSE not to be neurodivergent any more than I can choose any other physical attribute. I can CHOOSE to pretend I'm not neurodivergent (which many people would prefer) but obviously, pretending not to be neurodivergent isn't the same thing as actually not being neurodivergent and pretending is for the convenience and comfort of everyone else - it does nothing whatsoever to help me.

I've struggled my entire life. If I could just choose not to, I would have done it decades ago.

 

[SDRSpark]

Thank you.

I have actually found lightly tinted glasses that are comfortable, and work very well for me.

Part of the problem is that there are "James Bond" Internet access glasses that allow one to covertly access the Internet for the purposes of cheating and academic dishonesty.

Internet-connected glasses

So--as a consequence--sunglasses are not allowed in class. Just keep in mind that this is something I assume from offhand comments that I've overheard, and I don't know if this is a specific college policy.

I have gotten very angry (at a prior school) when an albino student (my study partner, actually) was allowed to wear dark glasses, but I wasn't . . . as I didn't have a "medical need."

Part of the other reason why sunglasses and visors are a problem probably has to do with drug abuse. Professors don't want a chemistry student (for example) handling Bunsen burners, flammable liquids, and corrosive acids while they are under the influence of substances . . . for obvious safety reasons.

There are people who seem able to tell if someone is doing drugs just by looking in their eyes and--as a paramedic--I count myself in this category, as nystagmus (a type of eye movement) and pupil dilation are indicators of drug use, and I've been trained to evaluate these signs when assessing a patient.

Google Glasses are obvious though, they look nothing like sunglasses. They have little computer bricks on them. Unmistakable as anything else.

So, if the school administration can't tell the difference between google glasses and regular sunglasses, they themselves must be blind as a proverbial bat.

I wear very lightly yellow tinted glasses. The tint is barely noticeable (I learned this through trial and error, there may be other tints that would be better for me but I settled on yellow for now).

You said you found lightly tinted glasses that work for you. If the school has a problem with these still, I would get a prescription pair (even if you don't need any vision correction) and obtain a paper copy of the prescription. This makes them a medical device, and the school will have a lot harder time justifying forbidding their use. (There are some instances, such as jobs that involve quality control, where there are legitimate reasons to ban tinted glasses. I have to wear clear glasses at work for that reason. School isn't one of these instances though.)

 

[SDRSpark]

Thank you.

I have been trying to work with both disability services and our diversity co-ordinator.

My one understanding professor doesn't wish to get involved beyond the scope of his expertise, but he has referred me to other counselors who may help.

The consensus is that if I'm smart enough to be a paramedic, then I'm smart enough to know how to "not be autistic."

My whole life, everyone has said that I choose to be the way that I am . . . because I don't work to fix it.

After all, understanding people socially is not rocket science. The whole rest of the world understands, so the only reason why I don't understand is because I don't try.

This is why I'm a loser . . . because I choose to be. As an example, I don't see certian distinctions in social situations that everyone else grasps right away . . . so I bring everything on myself, like an alcoholic or a drug addict whom won't get sober.

As an example, I was a paramedic, and our medical director sat on the faculty of a local university.

I got assigned a nurse (through an elective course on emergency medicine) as student rider, and he was working on his advance practice nurse practitioner.

We had a 911 call on a very sick 9 year old kid whom was fighting an aggressive form of pediatric leukemia, and also had Type 1 diabetes ("juvenile diabetes"l) at the same time. He was undergoing intense chemotherapy, and was very, very ill.

My instincts were telling me that I was missing something . . .and my student had over 7 years experience in the pediatric intensive care unit, so I swallowed my ego, put him in charge, and delegated myself to taking orders from him.

He performed magnificently, and saved the kid's life.

Here's were I get to the point: My student was very effeminate in a way that would cause many people to assume that he's gay (and yes, he was very gay).

The parents--devoutly religious--were incensed that I let a "sexual pervert and deviant" touch their child, as the "vast, overwhelming majority of homosexuals are pedophiles." I exposed their son to "homosexualist influences" during a "delicate stage in his masculine developement," so if this kid grew up to be gay, then I would be partly to blame . . . because nobody is ever born gay "because God doesn't make mistakes."

These people had their whole congregation sign off on a letter of protest, and they contacted their congressman.

When I pointed out that my student saved the kid's life, I was told that "the ends don't justify the means," and by putting my highly qualified student in charge--it was like forcing a blood transfusion on a Jehova's Witness. I--evidentally--didn't perceive the parents' religious discomfort with a gay man, as I was intensely focused (in autistic fashion) on saving the kid's life.

My lack of social savvy creates issues like this all of the time, and it sabotages my schooling and my work.

Everyone believes that I intentionally create these situations as a way of trying to bend the world to my values rather than conforming to the world . . . so my autism is an excuse to control other people and dismiss their values.

This was despite instructions to give my student as much authentic EMS experience as could be managed.

I really don't understand the world.

I wish this forum had a "wow" react. That's absolutely nuts. That poor kid.

 

[Suzette]

Thank you.

I have been trying to work with both disability services and our diversity co-ordinator.

My one understanding professor doesn't wish to get involved beyond the scope of his expertise, but he has referred me to other counselors who may help.

The consensus is that if I'm smart enough to be a paramedic, then I'm smart enough to know how to "not be autistic."

My whole life, everyone has said that I choose to be the way that I am . . . because I don't work to fix it.

After all, understanding people socially is not rocket science. The whole rest of the world understands, so the only reason why I don't understand is because I don't try.

This is why I'm a loser . . . because I choose to be. As an example, I don't see certian distinctions in social situations that everyone else grasps right away . . . so I bring everything on myself, like an alcoholic or a drug addict whom won't get sober.

As an example, I was a paramedic, and our medical director sat on the faculty of a local university.

I got assigned a nurse (through an elective course on emergency medicine) as student rider, and he was working on his advance practice nurse practitioner.

We had a 911 call on a very sick 9 year old kid whom was fighting an aggressive form of pediatric leukemia, and also had Type 1 diabetes ("juvenile diabetes"l) at the same time. He was undergoing intense chemotherapy, and was very, very ill.

My instincts were telling me that I was missing something . . .and my student had over 7 years experience in the pediatric intensive care unit, so I swallowed my ego, put him in charge, and delegated myself to taking orders from him.

He performed magnificently, and saved the kid's life.

Here's were I get to the point: My student was very effeminate in a way that would cause many people to assume that he's gay (and yes, he was very gay).

The parents--devoutly religious--were incensed that I let a "sexual pervert and deviant" touch their child, as the "vast, overwhelming majority of homosexuals are pedophiles." I exposed their son to "homosexualist influences" during a "delicate stage in his masculine developement," so if this kid grew up to be gay, then I would be partly to blame . . . because nobody is ever born gay "because God doesn't make mistakes."

These people had their whole congregation sign off on a letter of protest, and they contacted their congressman.

When I pointed out that my student saved the kid's life, I was told that "the ends don't justify the means," and by putting my highly qualified student in charge--it was like forcing a blood transfusion on a Jehova's Witness. I--evidentally--didn't perceive the parents' religious discomfort with a gay man, as I was intensely focused (in autistic fashion) on saving the kid's life.

My lack of social savvy creates issues like this all of the time, and it sabotages my schooling and my work.

Everyone believes that I intentionally create these situations as a way of trying to bend the world to my values rather than conforming to the world . . . so my autism is an excuse to control other people and dismiss their values.

This was despite instructions to give my student as much authentic EMS experience as could be managed.

I really don't understand the world.

Oh no! This scenario had NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR AUTISIM. These are stupidly bigoted people and they wanted a scapegoat for their fear and anger. Anybody at all in this scenario would have been a target.

 

[Kevin L.]

Oh no! This scenario had NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR AUTISIM. These are stupidly bigoted people and they wanted a scapegoat for their fear and anger. Anybody at all in this scenario would have been a target.

Thank you very much for the validation.

I know I make it seem like everyone else is to blame, but I believe it's me because it happens to me all of the time in different jobs. If it was only once or twice at one job, then I could blame everyone else.

This garbage has happened to me even when I was a child.

When I was a kid, my parents told me never to talk to strangers. My mother would yell this in my face while shaking me back and forth, which was quite horrible . . . given my sensory issues.

I was also told that just because other kids do things that are wrong--like shoplifting, or doing drugs--that this didn't mean that it's a valid reason for me to do something that's wrong.

Well . . . I would get sent to the principal's office at school and severely disciplined because I refused to talk to or acknowledge the teacher's existence. She was a substitute teacher, and--therefore--a stranger.

My parents would then scream in my face and shake me back and forth by my shoulders. The first thing out of my mother's mouth was "You could see all the other kids talking to her!"

"Just because they were doing something wrong by talking to a stranger doesn't mean that I can do something that's wrong," I answered . . . which meant more screaming, yelling, and other assorted punishments.

Incidents like these are what happens to me to this very day when I try to function at a job, and I haven't been able to figure out a formula to understand how much of my job description I should disregard in order to keep a job.

I sometimes have problems communicating, but can you see my points?

By the way, I do want to thank everyone for following up with me and giving me your input.

 

[Kevin L.]

Google Glasses are obvious though, they look nothing like sunglasses. They have little computer bricks on them. Unmistakable as anything else.

So, if the school administration can't tell the difference between google glasses and regular sunglasses, they themselves must be blind as a proverbial bat.

I wear very lightly yellow tinted glasses. The tint is barely noticeable (I learned this through trial and error, there may be other tints that would be better for me but I settled on yellow for now).

You said you found lightly tinted glasses that work for you. If the school has a problem with these still, I would get a prescription pair (even if you don't need any vision correction) and obtain a paper copy of the prescription. This makes them a medical device, and the school will have a lot harder time justifying forbidding their use. (There are some instances, such as jobs that involve quality control, where there are legitimate reasons to ban tinted glasses. I have to wear clear glasses at work for that reason. School isn't one of these instances though.)

That makes sense, so thank you.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

When I was getting out patient therapy after my stroke, one therapist was a bit shocked when she asked me a question I always gave her an unothadox answer. she had to take my wife aside to determine if this was a effect of the stroke, it was'nt. really screwed her up , I was definitely not typical. she learned if there is multiple answers to a question , add one more mine.

 

[Kevin L.]

When I was getting out patient therapy after my stroke, one therapist was a bit shocked when she asked me a question I always gave her an unothadox answer. she had to take my wife aside to determine if this was a effect of the stroke, it was'nt. really screwed her up , I was definitely not typical. she learned if there is multiple answers to a question , add one more mine.

I'm sorry you had a stroke. Did you make a good recovery?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm sorry you had a stroke. Did you make a good recovery?

still in the process of recovering.