'Autism can f*ck right off this week'

[Sass]

So the title of this thread is an actual quote from someone I know, who has kids on the spectrum. She posted this nugget of 'wisdom' on her facebook business page of all places, and it got me to thinking...

I understand what she meant by it: This week has been hard for me and my kids, this whole thing isn't fair on them or me.

This is only something I know because I know her personally. Hell, I guess most parents would probably have a very similar thought, and probably not just once, throughout the raising of their autistic kids. I can't say I ever have, but then as an aspie mother myself I have a different perspective.

What astounded me is that as a woman in business she felt it was ok to make a pretty blunt statement, that as an autistic adult I find slightly offensive. In essence, without knowing the back story, anyone who read that could easily feel as though they were being insulted, or that this woman didn't really accept her kids as a whole, just the parts that are 'normal'.

I guess it's that whole 'can we separate the autism from the person?' thing, which I don't think can be done, but that's just me. Also, what if her kids were old enough to read that? I'd be mortified if my parents had ever said something similar about me, not that they knew when I was a kid. Why is it ok to use your frustration at aspects of autism to drive your facebook marketing, particularly if you're not autistic? It just seems weird. It's one thing to think it, or vent to a friend, but it's another thing to announce to a largely captive audience that autism can **** off, when they don't have the inside knowledge to understand her meaning, and could make a pretty rough snap judgement that damages an already misinformed view of autistics.

I guess, as I delve further into this whole thing, and self-advocacy, I wonder why things like this are ok. I was going to write an article about it, sort of a response, but not naming-and-shaming her, because I don't think she meant badly. I just think this kind of thing has to be put in perspective and revealed for what it is.

Anyway, that's me probably being over-sensitive, rant over

 

[o2tosin]

Another Basehook junkie eh?

 

[Sass]

Another Basehook junkie eh?

Me or her? LOL I'm on there for my business too, and because I don't live in my home country so it's a good way to keep in touch. I certainly wouldn't be quite that blunt on either of my pages!

 

[o2tosin]

Err, I mistrust the whole "Facebook". I believe it was set up by intelligence services. I am OK with business stuff- but then there is LinkedIn. My cat was on facebook for a while and he made hundreds of "friends". A local entitled brat liberal candidate stood down last week due to preadolescent sex jokes on his FB page. The postings were thought to be deleted but came back to bite his bum. I have recently added a fake facebook account- really only to look up groups that might interest me. "Basehook" was just my neologism - no offence to anyone was meant.

 

[Sass]

None taken, hence the 'LOL' and smiley

 

[Ereth]

Why is it ok to use your frustration at aspects of autism to drive your Facebook marketing, particularly if you're not autistic?

I guess, as I delve further into this whole thing, and self-advocacy, I wonder why things like this are ok. I was going to write an article about it, sort of a response, but not naming-and-shaming her, because I don't think she meant badly. I just think this kind of thing has to be put in perspective and revealed for what it is.

It's not okay, but as you say, your friend was probably having a rough week with the kids and just picked the wrong venue to vent. Maybe you could talk to her and share how you feel.

 

[Sass]

That's trouble, it kinda carried on in the comments section of the post, in a very unapologetic fashion. She's a bit of a scary proposition in terms of talking to her about it too.

 

[Ylva]

Repeat the things she writes back to her, only replacing the words "autism" and "autistic" with "neurotypical" or some variant thereof.

I often read anti-disability articles while replacing the disability words with "gay", "black" or "female" as a way to underline to myself how hateful it is and not let myself be fooled by the propaganda.

Whenever my sister comments on my autism I comment back on her "allism". We turn it into a mock fight which usually has us giggling our arses off. Might not work that way with your friend.

 

[Daniel]

That's really inappropriate for a Business post. Business-related feeds are not the place for personal venting.

Furthermore, my first thought upon reading this is that she might as well have said "children can f*ck right off this week" or "motherhood can f*ck right off this week".

I don't know this person or the situation beyond what's described here, but if she's "a scary proposition", her problem probably isn't that her kids are on the spectrum. They'd probably be acting out if they were neurotypical. Kids model their parents.

Sad that autism becomes her scapegoat! Poor kids. I hope they don't their mother publicizes stuff like that about them.