• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

ASPIES WHO HAD A HARD TIME ACCEPTING THEIR DIAGNOSIS

G

Grumpy Cat

Well-Known Member
Grumpy Cat here. I'm NT so I can't contribute to this thread, but I would like to hear from Aspies who after diagnosis, had a hard time accepting that they had Asperger's and what you did in order to reach the acceptance phase of being an Aspie.
 
I did an assessment on what my therapist was saying to see if that matched up to what I was like. From the beginning I accepted the diagnosis and was actually relieved about it. I had been diagnoses as BPD and bipolar in the past and those just did not fit me. It was good to be able to identify with something finally. This gave me what I needed to finally research and do different things to try to find people that I can identify with.
 
Well I'm going to go off topic and put my vote in for those who did not have a hard time accepting their diagnosis. I was diagnosed late in life(62), so my reaction to the diagnosis might be different than most. I felt a lot of relief. I've always known that I was different than most people, I just didn't know the how or why. To find out that there was a name for people like me and other people like me was quite a revelation to me.
 
I think that most of us who were diagnosed as adults have had little trouble accepting a diagnosis. Most of us have been looking for answers most of our lives, and finally got one that helps us navigate the world around us a little better.

I will admit to a brief time, about a week or so after I received the results of my assessment, when I read and re-read the 10 page document, alternately thinking "that's me" and "no, that can't be me". Eventually I accepted that yep, that's me.

Maybe this isn't funny, but I think we'd need to hear from the elusive "wife diagnosed" guys out there, who refuse to acknowledge that there is something wrong with them.;)
 
On the Inside said:
I think that most of us who were diagnosed as adults have had little trouble accepting a diagnosis. Most of us have been looking for answers most of our lives, and finally got one that helps us navigate the world around us a little better.

I will admit to a brief time, about a week or so after I received the results of my assessment, when I read and re-read the 10 page document, alternately thinking "that's me" and "no, that can't be me". Eventually I accepted that yep, that's me.

Maybe this isn't funny, but I think we'd need to hear from the elusive "wife diagnosed" guys out there, who refuse to acknowledge that there is something wrong with them.;)[/QUOTE

My husband I would say: loosely accepts I am an aspie, but most of the time, finds it a heck of an inconvenience and uses it against me. It is VERY hard talking to him about it, because he has the amazing ability to make me feel very small and stupid and what comes out of my mouth, seems so blasted weak, like I am trying to convince MYSELF and I hate that feeling.
Click to expand...
 
Suzanne said:
My husband I would say: loosely accepts I am an aspie, but most of the time, finds it a heck of an inconvenience and uses it against me. It is VERY hard talking to him about it, because he has the amazing ability to make me feel very small and stupid and what comes out of my mouth, seems so blasted weak, like I am trying to convince MYSELF and I hate that feeling.
Click to expand...


It sounds like deep down that he may not honestly accept your being on the spectrum.

Something that I also wonder about with regards to my cousin. Unless one really researches all the nuances of ASD, I can see how easy it might be for NTs to scoff at the prospects of high-functioning people actually being on the spectrum. After all, it's taken me two years or more to really understand it just for myself!

But to "keep the peace" they simply pretend they acknowledge people like you and me. And that in the process it stresses them. Sadly the relationship between my cousin and myself is just not what it used to be. Ever since I told her I thought I was on the spectrum of autism. Sometimes she gives me the impression as if I had joined some kind of cult!

One thing for sure, if you have that ability to put on a mask and fake NT behavior to any extent, it's likely to exacerbate these issues with our loved ones. That we can't possibly be autistic, now can we? :eek:
 
Last edited:
Judge said:
It sounds like deep down that he may not honestly accept your being on the spectrum.

Something that I also wonder about with regards to my cousin. Unless one really researches all the nuances of ASD, I can see how easy it might be for NTs to scoff at the prospects of high-functioning people actually being on the spectrum. After all, it's taken me two years or more to really understand it for myself!

But to "keep the peace" they simply pretend they acknowledge people like you an me. And that in the process it stresses them. Sadly the relationship between my cousin and myself is just not what it used to be.
Click to expand...

I sadly agree with you!! I think partially it is the idea that his wife is "not well" that also plays a part of denial and well, a bit of envy. Like the fact, that I have pain in my heart, which today, has not been too bad and I am on the road to changing that, but when I cannot help but say something, he just comes back with: how do you know it isn't your breast hurting? I say that I can tell the difference.
 
clg114 said:
Well I'm going to go off topic and put my vote in for those who did not have a hard time accepting their diagnosis. I was diagnosed late in life(62), so my reaction to the diagnosis might be different than most. I felt a lot of relief. I've always known that I was different than most people, I just didn't know the how or why. To find out that there was a name for people like me and other people like me was quite a revelation to me.
Click to expand...

Same for me, in fact it was the NT's in my life that had the problem. They couldn't understand why I felt relieved or happy, I got fed up of them telling me how 'sorry' they were for me and how 'painful' it must be to find you're on the spectrum.

I kicked the lot of them into touch and got on with enjoying life.
 
Harrison said:
Same for me, in fact it was the NT's in my life that had the problem. They couldn't understand why I felt relieved or happy, I got fed up of them telling me how 'sorry' they were for me and how 'painful' it must be to find you're on the spectrum.

I kicked the lot of them into touch and got on with enjoying life.
Click to expand...


Strange that some cannot understand the importance of knowing, versus the negativity of wandering for a lifetime in confusion and not having a clue as to who and what we are. It's not a curse- it's an answer.
 
Harrison said:
Same for me, in fact it was the NT's in my life that had the problem. They couldn't understand why I felt relieved or happy, I got fed up of them telling me how 'sorry' they were for me and how 'painful' it must be to find you're on the spectrum.

I kicked the lot of them into touch and got on with enjoying life.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you just never met the right NT's. But I just know they are out there because I'm one. :)
 
Suzanne said:
I sadly agree with you!! I think partially it is the idea that his wife is "not well" that also plays a part of denial and well, a bit of envy. Like the fact, that I have pain in my heart, which today, has not been too bad and I am on the road to changing that, but when I cannot help but say something, he just comes back with: how do you know it isn't your breast hurting? I say that I can tell the difference.
Click to expand...

Suzanne, I don't know enough about your situation but the apparent lack of empathy, feelings and appreciation sounds vaguely familiar and I'm "the wife diagnosing her husband as Aspergers". Could your husband possibly be on the spectrum?
 
NT relationships for me are more of a residual haunting than a flashback. o_O

But hindsight for me might equate to foresight for others...;)

For better- or worse.
 
Karin said:
Suzanne, I don't know enough about your situation but the apparent lack of empathy, feelings and appreciation sounds vaguely familiar and I'm "the wife diagnosing her husband as Aspergers". Could your husband possibly be on the spectrum?
Click to expand...
Lol no, my husband is an very much an nt!!!!
 
Judge said:
NT relationships for me are more of a residual haunting than a flashback. o_O

But hindsight for me might equate to foresight for others...;)

For better- or worse.
Click to expand...

Judge, the same can be said for Aspie relationships too. You and I both know that, don't we? Now unless you have something to contribute to this thread, I suggest you run along now. And I do sincerely hope that one day you can patch things up with your cousin. (That wasn't sarcasm.)
 
Grumpy Cat said:
Judge, the same can be said for Aspie relationships too. You and I both know that, don't we? Now unless you have something to contribute to this thread, I suggest you run along now. And I do sincerely hope that one day you can patch things up with your cousin. (That wasn't sarcasm.)
Click to expand...


Those of us who have had relationships with NTs have a great deal to elaborate to those contemplating as such. For better or for worse- exactly as I said.

I've already "contributed" to this thread. Scroll up. If that offends you, that's too bad. Deal with it! You can post a thread...but that doesn't give you the authority to control it unless you are a moderator. Are we clear?
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom