Aspies are just same as everyone?

[OrdinaryCitizen]

From Aspeger's and "autism spectrum disorder" online description i get idea that people who have it are different from majority they don't like same things that most people like and don't socialize the same or something.

From what i see on this forum and other autistic communities online there is no difference from any other community at all everyone socialize in exact same way as neurotypicals do have same interests except obviously people here have some psychological problems, but are they really autistic?

I have nothing else left, but to conclude either i am too different or that most active people in aspie communities are not actually autistic?

 

[TheFreeCat]

that we can type is not equal to not aspie. In person , you'd see something very different.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

Then why your interests are just same as non aspie, why definition say aspies are withdrawn and not social...
Perhaps they just cannot socialize, but they want to be as everyone else, this is why they socialize on the internet,

 

[TempeFan]

I read an article about an autistic teenage boy in Reader's Digest. It was written by his mother who asked him the question, "What does it mean to be autistic?" He replied that it meant he could do some things better than other people and other people could do some things better than him. If you think about it for a minute, isn't that generally the definition of an individual human being?

 

[Pats]

You are seeing on here, support from other people who experience the same difficulties at different levels. It's safe here and we feel it. I had to go out today and get a gift bag because in the morning I'm going to visit my grandson for his birthday. I had so much anxiety that I was shakey, the whole bit - and after a couple hours of going back and forth about whether or not I had to go and searching my home for some other paper or bag to use so I wouldn't have to go, I finally had to just force myself to go. No, you're not going to see me actually doing that on this forum, but you might hear about something similar. Just because you don't know how to function socially does not mean you don't desire to be social and fit in somewhere. Thus - this forum. And keep in mind we are in the safety of our own home and in our comfort zone when we are on here.
It's funny you say what you said because I was thinking all day today that maybe aspies or HFA people actually are deeper than NT's. We have some deep conversations here, whereas any NT I talk to is the same surface stuff and I even had written in my journal "Is the world shallow?" We're not and maybe that's one of the things that make us different.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

TempeFan, that's a boy's vision, but i am talking about symptoms of high-functioning autism defined in medical literature (DSM and similar) by psychiatrists.

Pats, me being different made me develop different values in life i more serious and goal oriented i just cannot get myself to do anything because of depression.

All i see around people do same silly social stuff everywhere online jokes games porn etc like everyone aspie or NTP's are fine with everything fine being a employee and want to achieve anything, just need a place to talk after work.

Guess its specific from person to person i am more computer geeky personality and i want to create something big, online or offline dos not matter i just want to be part of something big that helps humanity, and thought since my condition confirms to aspeger's then other people with it should be somewhat similar.

I have nothing against social interactions i need this as much, but i feel like online interactions is just a substitute for real life interaction and not that effective. Like people making "online friends" on social networks are just wasting their time like playing MMORPG like "Second Life" its fun but essentially all you achieve stay's virtual, not real.

 

[Pats]

TempeFan, that's a boy's vision, but i am talking about symptoms of high-functioning autism defined in medical literature (DSM and similar) by psychiatrists.

Pats, me being different made me develop different values in life i more serious and goal oriented i just cannot get myself to do anything because of depression.

All i see around people do same silly social stuff everywhere online jokes games porn etc like everyone aspie or NTP's are fine with everything fine being a employee and want to achieve anything, just need a place to talk after work.

Guess its specific from person to person i am more computer geeky personality and i want to create something big, online or offline dos not matter i just want to be part of something big that helps humanity, and thought since my condition confirms to aspeger's then other people with it should be somewhat similar.

I have nothing against social interactions i need this as much, but i feel like online interactions is just a substitute for real life interaction and not that effective. Like people making "online friends" on social networks are just wasting their time like playing MMORPG like "Second Life" its fun but essentially all you achieve stay's virtual, not real.

But these are real people I am talking to and how can it be a waste of time if we can somehow be of help to each other, or understanding, or just there to listen. I like it here because:
Real life - I spent all day yesterday canning tomatoes. My grandson is learning to use the potty (more descriptive, but you don't want to hear it). Teresa seen Marcia and Lucy talking in Karen's office. Yes, these are real statements from real life and I could care less about any of those topics.
This forum - Does anyone else have trouble making and keeping friends? What would you tell someone who is always putting you down? Okay, I made those two things up - but my point is that these topics are actually helpful and meaningful.
Growing up I was considered shy, tomboyish and just weird. Just because some has aspergers or autism, doesn't mean all our values and beliefs and things we do have to be the same. We're all different. It's just that our brains are wired a little differently than neurotypical brains and things go through our brains a little differently. If I have a single hair sticking to my cheek I can't move on until I move the hair - so I've never understood when I'd see a person sitting on a bench with a fly on their bare shoulder and not trying to swat it off.
As for doing something big to help humanity - why don't you find something or create something that would be helpful to people on the spectrum. Start by doing a study and go from there. Ask questions to learn about differences and similarities and go from there. Just a thought.

 

[kbb0]

If we were not different then we would not have shared experiences such as:
1. Being bullied heavily in both childhood and adulthood
2. Having seemingly simple but in reality unrealistic expectations placed upon us that we cannot meet
3. Being discriminated against in the workplace/at school
4. Having to consciously mimic other people in order to blend in, and still often times be unable to, or not care and be discriminated against
5. Having other comorbid disabilities that make it even more difficult to navigate our world
Etc.

Yes the label of autistic is difficult to define and the lines are very blurry, but the point is that labels can be very useful. Not everyone likes them (including people who could embrace the label of autistic if they wanted to) but I do because it helps me understand myself better in a world that wasn't built for me. Autistic is just a word someone created in order to categorize a very large and diverse umbrella of similar experiences and traits that are, quite literally, not neurologically typical. You can easily find those traits and experiences on the internet and people who are neurotypical will not identify with most of them.

And if you thought this post was articulate, as @TheFreeCat said, if you had said this to me in person, I would have stuttered and babbled incoherently, taking long pauses to say umm, would lose my train of thought constantly, if I even had an answer at all.

To say I am not different is to disregard my struggles and experiences and my identity, at least in my personal opinion.

 

[BraidedPony]

Aspies are different, but being on an online forum makes it so much easier to communicate and to hide our weirdness too.

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

But these are real people I am talking to and how can it be a waste of time if we can somehow be of help to each other, or understanding, or just there to listen.

Not saying its bad to talk with people online or help others.

I am more talking about people who simply fool around online create friends discuss silly things and do nothing else.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I've always found it much easier to express myself through writing and drawing than just speaking. Maybe because I actually have time to think about what to write or draw. In the outside world everything is too spontaneous.

 

[Pats]

Not saying its bad to talk with people online or help others.

I am more talking about people who simply fool around online create friends discuss silly things and do nothing else.

Like facebook. Not meaning to put facebook down because I count on facebook to keep up with all the current pictures of my grandkids that I don't live close to. But there's more nonsense on facebook than anything.

 

[Pats]

I've always found it much easier to express myself through writing and drawing than just speaking. Maybe because I actually have time to think about what to write or draw. In the outside world everything is too spontaneous.

totally agree. I can say things so much better when I write (or type) it. When I try to verbalize it's a completely different story and I just make a mess of things.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Yes, Aspies are just the same as everyone else...

Except they also have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

They have varying interests, desires for social interaction and belonging. Some like dogs, other don’t. They may or may not like football, hiking, video games, or reading. They may or may not be religious, and most certainly have a wide variety of beliefs.

And they also have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

If you came here expecting that, because this is a large group of autistic people, they’re all the same, please allow me to be the first to disappoint you.

There are a lot of stereotypes out there about autism. I used to believe some of them myself. I thought, “I can’t be autistic, because I can communicate so well, and I’m not good at art like all the autistic people in the news.”

Welcome to the forum. Please stick around, read some posts, ask some questions, and you’ll see that everyone here has their own unique personality, likes, dislikes, talents, and shortcomings.

And they also have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

 

[Pats]

Yes, Aspies are just the same as everyone else...

Except they also have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

They have varying interests, desires for social interaction and belonging. Some like dogs, other don’t. They may or may not like football, hiking, video games, or reading. They may or may not be religious, and most certainly have a wide variety of beliefs.

And they also have Autism Spectrum Disorder.

If you came here expecting that, because this is a large group of autistic people, they’re all the same, please allow me to be the first to disappoint you.

There are a lot of stereotypes out there about autism. I used to believe some of them myself (I thought, “I can’t be autistic, because I can communicate so well.”).

Welcome to the forum. Please stick around, read some posts, ask some questions, and you’ll see that everyone here has their own unique personality, likes, dislikes, talents, and shortcomings.

And they also have autism.

I guess I also stereotyped autism and never considered the possibility. One morning I woke up and first thing that came to my mind was look up autism. I did and it was pretty much what I expected to read. The next morning something in my head told me, look up female autism. I did and was like, "Holy Cow!! That's me."

 

[OrdinaryCitizen]

I understand girls don't care about science or reshaping the world into something better, them discussing day-to day stuff is expected, their life goals are different than guys, like make a family and offspring. I don't judge them, we are just different.

If you came here expecting that, because this is a large group of autistic people, they’re all the same, please allow me to be the first to disappoint you.

There are a lot of stereotypes out there about autism. I used to believe some of them myself.

Indeed guess i believed stereotypes about autism.
Like this picture of autistic boy trying to play some engineering game and cares about nothing else in the universe, so i got idea that by the time autistic boys grow up they all supposed to become rocket scientists, engineers or a computer geniuses...

Funny thing under this photo part of description saying "People with aspeger's not necessary are talented in science" guess i read between lines and fallen a victim of my expectations yet again.

I am just desperately trying to find like minded people because i feel potential in myself, but i been trying to do something alone and i just can't get anywhere, thought if i team up with someone like minded i be more productive...

 

[Nervous Rex]

I am just desperately trying to find like minded people because i feel potential in myself, but i been trying to do something alone and i just can't get anywhere, thought if i team up with someone like minded i be more productive...

I think you’re in the right place. Keep coming back.

 

[Pats]

I understand girls don't care about science or reshaping the world into something better, them discussing day-to day stuff is expected, their life goals are different than guys, like make a family and offspring. I don't judge them, we are just different.



Indeed guess i believed stereotypes about autism.
Like this picture of autistic boy trying to play some engineering game and cares about nothing else in the universe, so i got idea that by the time autistic boys grow up they all supposed to become rocket scientists, engineers or a computer geniuses...

Funny thing under this photo part of description saying "People with aspeger's not necessary are talented in science" guess i read between lines and fallen a victim of my expectations yet again.

I am just desperately trying to find like minded people because i feel potential in myself, but i been trying to do something alone and i just can't get anywhere, thought if i team up with someone like minded i be more productive...

And now you're stereotyping girls. lol As a teenager I had no interest in makeup, boys, pimple problems, dating, etc, etc. As an adult I wasn't interested in cooking. I did have a family, but it was me and the kids, so family then became an interest - I mean, I did have to keep them alive. But it's not my nature. I refuse to get a pedicure with my sisters. So on and so forth.
But start a thread about your interests and see what kind of responses you get - maybe you WILL find someone like-minded.

 

[Fino]

Do you see a therapist?

 

[BraidedPony]

Make sure you see a male therapist though because the women will be busy having offspring.