Aspergers in women?

[CassLovesBears]

Yeah, that all makes sense, so much of what you've said is relatable. I was initially diagnosed with bipolar 2, but then it was amended to GAD, not quite PTSD and no explanation for the moods and really unhinged stuff that happens with them. That's without touching on the ASD traits. I know that I need to find another clinic and insist on assessments until we get to the bottom of it. Finding the right med combo has helped since I started letting myself stim again. I cried the first few times because it brought up memories of my mother using the r-word to make me stop, but they're truly the best thing to happen to my mental health.

I can relate to the morning nightmare. My sensory issues are worse when I have to leave on time, so I'll change clothes over and over because things need to be comfortable *and* look the way I want them to.

I am so sorry that your mother said that to you!!!!! My heart broke a little when I read that it's so unfair all the judgements that happen. I adore flicking and flapping my hands now. Sometimes in public I think about if I look weird or not but honestly we need to stop and be okay with who we are

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

Thank you so much for your reply. I loved it I agree completely with everything you said. Autism is such a unique experience.




I feel as if they are mostly correct. I'll try to list out a few symptoms to explain.

BPD:
I tried to kill myself many times due to break ups and I am a prior cutter. I also have mood swings nearly everyday. Somedays I get by but often I get triggered and have meltdowns. This is the reason why I was diagnosed BPD.

Bipolar:

My father is bipolar I show hardly any symptoms besides depression. I have occasional (three times a year if that) hypomania. I've never had a full blown manic episode.

OCD:

Waking up in the mornings is hell and the worst time for me. I have breakdowns over doing my hair and getting dressed. I am a severe perfectionists so I like to look my best. If I hate something about my outfit or hair it will bug me for the rest of the day.

ADHD:
I have a tendency to lose items and be very forgetful etc

Those symptoms certainly could be caused by those disorders, and I'm assuming that whoever diagnosed you with them all used reasonably stringent diagnostic criteria. On the other hand, as you've described them, they wouldn't be unusual for ASD alone, or as secondary to the ASD. When someone has that many diagnoses, someone should really be searching for a root cause. Knowing the root cause can help you deal with all symptoms more effectively than dealing with each one alone.

 

[Daydreamer]

My current standings on diagnosis is bipolar, borderline personality, ADHD, OCD, dyscalculia, and severe social anxiety.

Somewhat off topic but, what was the diagnosis process for dyscalculia like? That is a condition which I suspect that I have. My parents have also suspected this since I was eight. Unfortunately, growing up I was often caught in a loop of "go contact someone else about this" whenever I tried to look into testing. So I'm curious. I often debate with myself if I should keep trying or just let it go at this point.

Unfortunately, I can't be of much help for the main topic of this thread. I just wanted to ask about this.

 

[CassLovesBears]

Somewhat off topic but, what was the diagnosis process for dyscalculia like? That is a condition which I suspect that I have. My parents have also suspected this since I was eight. Unfortunately, growing up I was often caught in a loop of "go contact someone else about this" whenever I tried to look into testing. So I'm curious. I often debate with myself if I should keep trying or just let it go at this point.

Unfortunately, I can't be of much help for the main topic of this thread. I just wanted to ask about this.

I haven't actually been diagnosed with it but I can barely add big numbers in my head without forgetting what the numbers were to begin with xD I have bad working memory and short term memory

Math is pretty much worse than a foreign language to me. You can teach me something a billion times and I won't retain an ounce.

 

[CassLovesBears]

All the diagnoses you list are ones which autistic women are frequently misdiagnosed with prior to finding out they are actually on the spectrum. An assessment would be a wise move
Both Aspergers and HFA are redundant terms for good reason. Whilst I defend anyone's right to use the language of their diagnosis, do bear in mind that functioning labels are definitely not acceptable to use any more. They are highly misleading and can lead to people who think of themselves as high functioning being blocked from help they might need. You should also know that Hans Asperger was a nazi who sent autistic children to death camps so his name has become very controversial. No judgement in this, just thought it best you know right from the start in case you offend someone down the line

THATS SO COOL!! Not the fact that he was a nazi but the history behind it all. You lowkey just blew my mind haha thanks for teaching me something new

 

[tree]

There are any number of articles which refer to H. Asperger as a Nazi collaborator.
I have not seen any that show him as a party member.

This article agrees that he collaborated extensively, but states he was not a Nazi party member.
Autism doctor Hans Asperger collaborated with the Nazis, new research shows

 

[TopherPwn]

What medication?

ADHD

 

[Nervous Rex]

The truth is it doesnt matter whether or not im autistic. I'm simply ecstatic that I have a group of people who are similar to me.

@shysnail and @Aru said it best - whether you are or aren't autistic, if you like it here and feel like you fit in, please stay. I hope you can get as much out of this wonderful forum as I have.

I'm very bad at math but excel in language.

I can read people pretty decently.

Don't let the stereotypes throw you off. No one here is a perfectly stereotypical aspie.

I thought I might not be autistic because I am excellent at communicating and explaining complex things to people at their own level of understanding, e.g. explaining technical issues to executives, lawyers, and regulators, in their own terms. Also, I saw news articles highlighting the skills of some autistic artists and thought, "I have no art skills like that - I must not be autistic."

I still feel like a child whenever I interact with people socially. I feel as if there's an age gap in my maturity versus intellect which has caused me severe distress and identity problems. I never even knew how to talk about any of this till recently because I didn't know other people struggled with it too.

I used that same description when I first met with the counselor who later diagnosed me as autistic. I said that intellectually, I'm way ahead of the curve, but emotionally, I'm very, very delayed.

It sounds like you are finding your voice now. I'm happy for you.

I just thought I was a failure.

I always thought I let people down, because I did so well academically that everyone expected me to be so successful. But I don't want to be management, I don't want to own my own company. I just want to get by. Now I know why, and I'm at peace with it. I am who I am, not who they expect me to be.

 

[luna88]

I've been diagnosed on the high functioning autism spectrum by a Dr. who specialized in administering assessments and autism testing. Based on everything you wrote I think it sounds like it's highly likely!

I can relate to many of the things you mentioned.
I used to have OCD tendencies, while it's less severe than it once was since I've found other coping mechanisms, I tend to still be rigid and perfectionistic about things. I'm also bad at math and excelled in language!! Same for me when I took the GREs, my math scores were below average while my verbal scores were above average. I too experienced selective mutism throughout my life but paradoxically have an obsession for studying human behavior/the mind/psychology! I read books on this subject for fun and love people watching so I do feel adept at reading people, almost psychic in a way. I feel like I can energetically read people's energy better than I can understand what they mean through language alone. I've read that women on the spectrum tend to do this more which is why they are better at masking.

What is the likelyhood that I am autistic based off of these notions. I took the aspie quiz online and scored 172 out of 200 on aspie and approximately 40 to 50 on the nuerotypical. It said that I have a "very likely chance of being aspie". I also score a 36 on the autism test. My mother has ADHD. Which I think should be noted due to the obvious link in some symptoms.

I stumbled across the unofficial checklist for women with aspergers now known as HFA. It was nearly exactly me (not kidding) I'd say out of the extremely long checklist I agreed heavily with 80 to 90 percent of items. My current standings on diagnosis is bipolar, borderline personality, ADHD, OCD, dyscalculia, and severe social anxiety.

I'm very bad at math but excel in language. I always have been bad at math but my mother would never believe me because I was able to get decent grades. I took the ACT on the math section I scored in the bottom 50 percent of people but in the language section I scored in the top 20 percent of people. So there's obviously a very drastic difference.




PLEASE READ THIS:

The truth is it doesnt matter whether or not im autistic. I'm simply ecstatic that I have a group of people who are similar to me. My whole entire life I've felt like nothing but the mute girl. I didn't have the vocabulary to describe how I felt or what was even happening to me. So my selective mutism went unnoticed. I was a good girl with a lot of heavy expectations on me. All my life everyone said i was so intelligent! That I could read at a 12th grade level from a young age. What people don't understand is despite being extremely logical and intelligent person with facts, that's all it is. I still feel like a child whenever I interact with people socially. I feel as if there's an age gap in my maturity versus intellect which has caused me severe distress and identity problems. I never even knew how to talk about any of this till recently because I didn't know other people struggled with it too I just thought I was a failure.


(Optional)

One reason why I don't think I'm Autistic is because I can read people pretty decently. Yes sometimes subtle clues or sarcasm goes over my head but for the most part id say I'm okay at it. Not too terribly bad. But it should also be noted I love observing human behaviour and psychology is one of my obsessions.

 

[Nauti]

I've been diagnosed on the high functioning autism spectrum by a Dr. who specialized in administering assessments and autism testing. Based on everything you wrote I think it sounds like it's highly likely!

I can relate to many of the things you mentioned.
I used to have OCD tendencies, while it's less severe than it once was since I've found other coping mechanisms, I tend to still be rigid and perfectionistic about things. I'm also bad at math and excelled in language!! Same for me when I took the GREs, my math scores were below average while my verbal scores were above average. I too experienced selective mutism throughout my life but paradoxically have an obsession for studying human behavior/the mind/psychology! I read books on this subject for fun and love people watching so I do feel adept at reading people, almost psychic in a way. I feel like I can energetically read people's energy better than I can understand what they mean through language alone. I've read that women on the spectrum tend to do this more which is why they are better at masking.

I can totally relate to this, as well! I don't have a diagnosis though, as I have learnt to mask well enough that the health professionals I've spoken to didn't believe me, as I have a comorbitity of complex PTSD and my psych doctor just said "Everything I was describing was attributable to trauma" .

My GP didn't throw up any objections to me telling him I believe I have Aspergers/Autism 1. He didn't think it worth me spending all the money on diagnosis though.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I was generally bad in school with any subject that was not visual including Math which is my worst. I was also bad in English "horrible spelling" and Science "when it was visual I did better" but I did good in World history "not boring American History" and was great in Geography because I love looking and studying maps. I also excelled in the Arts like Photography where my teacher gave me an 100% A+ Grade. I also did good in computers back then "still am today" when they were primitive offline machines about 1991-1995 as I can figure them out in about 20 minutes just by playing around with them.

My biggest issues with school grades is that my teachers though I had a learning disability and no one knew what I had. They also saw me as a social outcast and again though I was an mentally learning disability. Only after failing out of college and starting various trade programs I found out what I had.

As for that stupid Aspie test the OP took throw it out it is garbage. I got an Aspie score of 175 and an NT score of 20. Yea Right. I made an effort to socialize at my Church I attend a few home groups, make eye contact and I am even getting better at annoying "small talk" so that bogus NT score of 20 is a bunch of bull. I can also thank this friendly forum for me making these efforts.

 

[CassLovesBears]

I was generally bad in school with any subject that was not visual including Math which is my worst. I was also bad in English "horrible spelling" and Science "when it was visual I did better" but I did good in World history "not boring
American History" and was great in Geography because I love looking and studying maps. I also excelled in the Arts like Photography where my teacher gave me an 100% A+ Grade. I also did good in computers back then "still am today" when they were primitive offline machines about 1991-1995 as I can figure them out in about 20 minutes just by playing around with them.

My biggest issues with school grades is that my teachers though I had a learning disability and no one knew what I had. They also saw me as a social outcast and again though I was an mentally learning disability. Only after failing out of college and starting various trade programs I found out what I had.

As for that stupid Aspie test the OP took throw it out it is garbage. I got an Aspie score of 175 and an NT score of 20. Yea Right. I made an effort to socialize at my Church I attend a few home groups, make eye contact and I am even getting better at annoying "small talk" so that bogus NT score of 20 is a bunch of bull. I can also thank this friendly forum for me making these efforts.

That's interesting because I can barely handle anything social without meltingdown...so it's funny that I have a higher score (NT) than you despite my severe inability to leave the house lmao

 

[Tony Ramirez]

That's interesting because I can barely handle anything social without meltingdown...so it's funny that I have a higher score (NT) than you despite my severe inability to leave the house lmao

I completely understand. The only way to get over social anxiety is to get out and socialize no matter how painful or stressful. I still sweat buckets at times but I am doing it. The worst is getting through the small talk but I am doing better now than I use to which was nothing.

 

[CassLovesBears]

I completely understand. The only way to get over social anxiety is to get out and socialize no matter how painful or stressful. I still sweat buckets at times but I am doing it. The worst is getting through the small talk but I am doing better now than I use to which was nothing.

I've forced myself my entire life and I assure I am no better off forcing myself. It just makes me cry more. It's not even about anxiety from socialising. It's almost an inherent fear that I don't know how to control. I was in a group therapy session with about 7 other people and I was so anxious I cried. I kept asking myself why I was anxious and I couldn't come up with any reason or understanding. I didn't have to talk to them.. Talking was optional. The leader however asked me if I wanted to read twice and I was more upset by that. I don't understand my anxiety. I can go to a Renaissance festival and have the time of my life but I can't step foot into a classroom without mentally freaking out(I could not attend that festival anytime just on really good days). I can't stand people looking at me. It's one reason why I hate human interaction. Another one is because a lot of people ask questions and I'm bad at answering questions when anxious because my brain stops functioning and every thing slows down. Answering how old I am can take 2 seconds longer than it should which causes more anxiety because im scared that if I don't answer quick enough they'll think I'm weird which leads me to sometimes blurt things out that aren't true and accidentally lie which on turn causes more anxiety and I just want everyone to like me because I don't have any reason they shouldnt. I'm nice and will not ever be rude to you unless you are to others. Im no harmer or manipulator and always try my best to be entirely honest. I think the truth is there's a lot of reasons why I can't do social interactions. It's not simply just a fear to get over like spiders. I can only stand so much before I crack. I can't deal with social anxiety and my mind attacking me. I almost never freak out unless there's multiple things triggering me all at once.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Antipsychotics medicine helped me much with these issues and my meltdown is one in a billion hearing a certain bad four letter word "not even directed at me" would make me go into a rage but I am fighting it with medicine and prayer.