Aspergers in women?

[CassLovesBears]

What is the likelyhood that I am autistic based off of these notions. I took the aspie quiz online and scored 172 out of 200 on aspie and approximately 40 to 50 on the nuerotypical. It said that I have a "very likely chance of being aspie". I also score a 36 on the autism test. My mother has ADHD. Which I think should be noted due to the obvious link in some symptoms.

I stumbled across the unofficial checklist for women with aspergers now known as HFA. It was nearly exactly me (not kidding) I'd say out of the extremely long checklist I agreed heavily with 80 to 90 percent of items. My current standings on diagnosis is bipolar, borderline personality, ADHD, OCD, dyscalculia, and severe social anxiety.

I'm very bad at math but excel in language. I always have been bad at math but my mother would never believe me because I was able to get decent grades. I took the ACT on the math section I scored in the bottom 50 percent of people but in the language section I scored in the top 20 percent of people. So there's obviously a very drastic difference.




PLEASE READ THIS:

The truth is it doesnt matter whether or not im autistic. I'm simply ecstatic that I have a group of people who are similar to me. My whole entire life I've felt like nothing but the mute girl. I didn't have the vocabulary to describe how I felt or what was even happening to me. So my selective mutism went unnoticed. I was a good girl with a lot of heavy expectations on me. All my life everyone said i was so intelligent! That I could read at a 12th grade level from a young age. What people don't understand is despite being extremely logical and intelligent person with facts, that's all it is. I still feel like a child whenever I interact with people socially. I feel as if there's an age gap in my maturity versus intellect which has caused me severe distress and identity problems. I never even knew how to talk about any of this till recently because I didn't know other people struggled with it too I just thought I was a failure.


(Optional)

One reason why I don't think I'm Autistic is because I can read people pretty decently. Yes sometimes subtle clues or sarcasm goes over my head but for the most part id say I'm okay at it. Not too terribly bad. But it should also be noted I love observing human behaviour and psychology is one of my obsessions.

 

[Bolletje]

It’s certainly possible. One can learn to read people. One can learn a lot of things. I’m a female Aspie and I wasn’t diagnosed until my late twenties because I had learned to do eye contact and small talk and I’m actually good at reading people.

 

[shysnail]

I'm definitely not going to diagnose you because of having no qualification to do that, but honestly, if you relate to a lot of autism traits and it feels like it "fits" for you and you feel it would be good for you to be part of the autistic community, then I think that's really your answer.

I went through a loooong period of not wanting to be autistic (I was diagnosed young, but not given any support as how to see that as anything other than a bad thing) so I did a lot of "I can't be autistic because of X, Y and Z." I'm also okay at reading people. I never felt like I didn't understand social situations. I felt like I just didn't know how to interact back, but put that down to anxiety. I also did my undergrad in psychology and social sciences are my whole bit, when I thought that all autistic people just like 'fact' subjects like the natural sciences or maths, so another reason I couldn't be autistic.

But in reality, I am autistic. Autism is complicated, rich and varied and being autistic isn't ticking every box, or even knowing if you tick a box or not. It's hard to separate coping mechanisms you've learned from who you are 'underneath' it, if there is such a thing.

I think if autism makes sense for you and considering yourself as such helps you, then that's great

 

[Pats]

I felt the same way when I first realized I was on the spectrum. I keep saying I was never good at Math, but maybe I was and just didn't feel like I was. My good grades were English, spelling and Math - it's the reading and history that I had the hardest time with because I had no interest and could not retain the information.

But, it's funny, because just the other day I was telling my daughter in law how good it was to learn about the autism and learning I was not the only person experiencing the things I experienced. She said she remembers when I showed her a picture and said that was how I've felt all my life. She said it actually hurt her to think that's how I had gone through life. Then she asked, but you're really glad to know it now, aren't you? I said it explained who I was and made who I was more accepting to myself. So, though, 60 years of habits on behavior/masking aren't easy to break, I'm more comfortable to be who I am since I know what it is - autism. I'm 61 and received a diagnosis at 59.

Hello and welcome.

 

[Aru]

Aspergers or not i'm glad you have found somewhere you can fit in and feel more yourself, it was much the same for me, Constantly feeling like the black sheep in life but when you see others who are similar like on this forum it's a nice sight and helps All the best!

 

[Garry jackson]

I have absolutely no qualifications other than being an aspie and also recently seen the tony attwood videos
If you go here Different Together Community For Partners of People Affected by Asperger\'s Syndrome
And see the videos i think in faq or q and a you will see a series of videos by THE expert in aspergers - and i would believe based on your studying of people that you are demonstrating a core female aspie trait. But please study further

 

[Tom]

You know we can't of course say yes or no. I can say it sounds that if your not, you should be. On reading people - One thing is that with HFA there are usually some symptoms on the lists you don't have. There are for instance some Aspie extroverts. I also think there may be different types of reading going on when interacting. I also have wondered if there are NTs who just so happen to have similar traits. At any rate I visualize the autistic spectrum as being connected to the NT spectrum and there being a grey area between or overlap. I have found like minds on both sides.

 

[Fino]

If it weren't for the long list of diagnoses you have, I would say yes. These aren't all from the same place, I assume? Just things you've been diagnosed with over your life?

 

[Clueless in Canada]

[QUOTE At any rate I visualize the autistic spectrum as being connected to the NT spectrum and there being a grey area between or overlap. I have found like minds on both sides.[/QUOTE]
There is a thing called broad autism phenotype which basically means a person has lots of autistic traits but doesn't meet diagnostic criteria. I see that in my Dad.

 

[H-Kath]

Do you feel all those diagnoses are accurate? Do your doctors have trouble diagnosing you then go with the nearest thing?

 

[MeghanWithAnH]

We can't diagnose you online, and I'd have to work with a team of professionals to reliably diagnose you in person, but you are certainly describing a lot of common Aspergers experiences, especially for women who are more likely to mask their aspie traits and tend to be better at reading people. An uneven skill profile is also very common. I don't know anything about your diagnosis history, but it's also common for people with undiagnosed ASD to be diagnosed with many other conditions as psychologists or other professionals try to find an explanation for the traits they are seeing. This is also especially true of women, because professionals who see a set of symptoms that could be caused by ASD or by a more stereotypically female disorder are more likely to decide that it's caused by the other disorder without investigating enough for a differential diagnosis.. Unfortunately, many professionals know very little about ASD in women, and some don't even know much about it in men, so they often don't even consider it. On top of that, ASD can make people more likely to develop some of those other disorders, whether by making the brain more prone to other differences or making people more likely to experience things that make those disorders worse. The other disorders then mask the ASD because every symptom gets attributed to the disorders you are already diagnosed with.

Aspie or not, welcome to the forums. It's great to find somewhere to fit in when you've spent your life not fitting in anywhere. That was the biggest appeal of figuring out whether I was autistic for me, even before I realized that it could help me understand myself better and make positive changes in my life.

 

[CassLovesBears]

Thank you so much for your reply. I loved it I agree completely with everything you said. Autism is such a unique experience.

Do you feel all those diagnoses are accurate? Do your doctors have trouble diagnosing you then go with the nearest thing?

I feel as if they are mostly correct. I'll try to list out a few symptoms to explain.

BPD:
I tried to kill myself many times due to break ups and I am a prior cutter. I also have mood swings nearly everyday. Somedays I get by but often I get triggered and have meltdowns. This is the reason why I was diagnosed BPD.

Bipolar:

My father is bipolar I show hardly any symptoms besides depression. I have occasional (three times a year if that) hypomania. I've never had a full blown manic episode.

OCD:

Waking up in the mornings is hell and the worst time for me. I have breakdowns over doing my hair and getting dressed. I am a severe perfectionists so I like to look my best. If I hate something about my outfit or hair it will bug me for the rest of the day.

ADHD:
I have a tendency to lose items and be very forgetful etc

 

[TopherPwn]

I'm very bad at math but excel in language. I always have been bad at math but my mother would never believe me because I was able to get decent grades. I took the ACT on the math section I scored in the bottom 50 percent of people but in the language section I scored in the top 20 percent of people. So there's obviously a very drastic difference.




PLEASE READ THIS:

The truth is it doesnt matter whether or not im autistic. I'm simply ecstatic that I have a group of people who are similar to me. My whole entire life I've felt like nothing but the mute girl. I didn't have the vocabulary to describe how I felt or what was even happening to me. So my selective mutism went unnoticed. I was a good girl with a lot of heavy expectations on me. All my life everyone said i was so intelligent! That I could read at a 12th grade level from a young age. What people don't understand is despite being extremely logical and intelligent person with facts, that's all it is. I still feel like a child whenever I interact with people socially. I feel as if there's an age gap in my maturity versus intellect which has caused me severe distress and identity problems. I never even knew how to talk about any of this till recently because I didn't know other people struggled with it too I just thought I was a failure.

I excel at math and I'm horrid at language. I think we should be friends.

 

[H-Kath]

I feel as if they are mostly correct. I'll try to list out a few symptoms to explain.

Yeah, that all makes sense, so much of what you've said is relatable. I was initially diagnosed with bipolar 2, but then it was amended to GAD, not quite PTSD and no explanation for the moods and really unhinged stuff that happens with them. That's without touching on the ASD traits. I know that I need to find another clinic and insist on assessments until we get to the bottom of it. Finding the right med combo has helped since I started letting myself stim again. I cried the first few times because it brought up memories of my mother using the r-word to make me stop, but they're truly the best thing to happen to my mental health.

I can relate to the morning nightmare. My sensory issues are worse when I have to leave on time, so I'll change clothes over and over because things need to be comfortable *and* look the way I want them to.

 

[Progster]

I'm very bad at math but excel in language. I always have been bad at math but my mother would never believe me because I was able to get decent grades.

This sounds a lot like me. I was always good at foreign languages and could learn them very easily, also I had a wide vocabulary for my age and learned to read at an early age. It wasn't so much that I couldn't do maths, it was more the case that there was a big difference between my grades in maths and those in other subjects, and also within maths there were things I excelled at like geometry, and things that I was poor at like algebra that prevented me from getting high grades. I didn't get much beyond the basics with algebra.

 

[SusanLR]

All my life everyone said i was so intelligent! That I could read at a 12th grade level from a young age. What people don't understand is despite being extremely logical and intelligent person with facts, that's all it is. I still feel like a child whenever I interact with people socially. I feel as if there's an age gap in my maturity versus intellect which has caused me severe distress and identity problems

This sounds so like me. The maturity vs intellect gap.
I am 62, diagnosed at 58. Always diagnosed as BPD and panic attack disorder before.

Glad you found people you fit in with here. I've found it very helpful.
Welcome.

 

[TopherPwn]

This sounds a lot like me. I was always good at foreign languages and could learn them very easily, also I had a wide vocabulary for my age and learned to read at an early age. It wasn't so much that I couldn't do maths, it was more the case that there was a big difference between my grades in maths and those in other subjects, and also within maths there were things I excelled at like geometry, and things that I was poor at like algebra that prevented me from getting high grades. I didn't get much beyond the basics with algebra.

I heard medication helps. I can't say nothing personally. Although I'm going to test it out pre college. If not I'll just buy books and study on my own.

 

[Progster]

I heard medication helps.

What medication?

 

[Autistamatic]

All the diagnoses you list are ones which autistic women are frequently misdiagnosed with prior to finding out they are actually on the spectrum. An assessment would be a wise move
Both Aspergers and HFA are redundant terms for good reason. Whilst I defend anyone's right to use the language of their diagnosis, do bear in mind that functioning labels are definitely not acceptable to use any more. They are highly misleading and can lead to people who think of themselves as high functioning being blocked from help they might need. You should also know that Hans Asperger was a nazi who sent autistic children to death camps so his name has become very controversial. No judgement in this, just thought it best you know right from the start in case you offend someone down the line

 

[Tom]

Sometimes I wonder if doctors find it easier to diagnosis symptoms than the root cause. It may also be safer in that they can not be said to be in error.

Like if you had the flu and instead of determining you have the flu various doctors diagnose you with:

Body Temperature Disorder
Coughing and Sneezing Syndrome
Borderline Bucking Bowels
etc