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AS + Impulsivity

Gritches

Gritches

The Happy Dog
V.I.P Member
My understanding of how impulses are experienced by NTs is that they get an "impulse" and they immediately get up and go do whatever their impulse tells them to do.

I find that I'm very impulsive, but I'll never just get up and go do something. No, I'll feel like doing something, often something stupid, and I perseverate on it for hours, even days before I actually do it. Planning every last detail, considering every possible contingency, justifying away any cognitive dissonance I might have about how bad of an idea what I'm about to do actually is.

I bring this up because I just did an incredibly impulsive thing that I've never done before. I cut my own hair. But I didn't just up and do it, I planned for several hours in advance how I would do it, and it actually turned out decent. If I had just snapped and did it without any planning, it probably would've went awry.

But for several hours, I had the absolutely seething and burning desire to cut my own hair, for no apparent reason, knowing (or believing; same thing) that it was a terrible idea, that my chances of success were minimal at best. But I just had to do it.

This is the difference I'm wondering about, if it exists, if it's actually a difference: does AS modify impulsive behavior to include the meticulous planning that seems so Aspie-ish? Does anyone else experience impulses this way? It just seems like even though I had that burning desire, the more cautious Aspie part of me told me to plan and prepare, but only so I could sate that burning desire and still have a favorable outcome.
 
I have impulsive trait but that's my ADHD
I have different types of impulsive behavior, from physical ones to ones that can make me blurt out random comments towards people

Also for me I don't plan when it happens it just does
 
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Yes when I get a new idea I often want to do something about it as soon as possible. Even if it's maybe not very realistic, I will plan to do something about it or towards it, sometimes this works out well and I m pleased other times I completely lose interest after taking the impulsive step.

But yes, I do plan the step fully and carefully. I tend to think of this as being linked to the intense interests part of how I am, suddenly something seems absorbingly interesting and necessary to pursue, I hadn't linked it to impulsivity. Sometimes I take ages to realise that the steps aren't leading anywhere much, like when I decided to become a guitar player. :eek: maybe 5 years later, buying a really nice guitar, lot of lessons and practicing and several beginners courses I realised I wasn't getting anywhere.

Do you think it's more about a sudden focus on something than impulsivity? For me it probably is. I'm not seeing too much of a downside to it, like with cutting your own hair, it worked out well from what you said. There's something about thinking outside the box too isn't there, that also seems related to AS.
 
Thinx said:
Do you think it's more about a sudden focus on something than impulsivity? For me it probably is. I'm not seeing too much of a downside to it, like with cutting your own hair, it worked out well from what you said. There's something about thinking outside the box too isn't there, that also seems related to AS.
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I think you may be right, and that would explain the ADHD connection as well. But if that's the case, they could be one in the same. But I think I get where you're coming from, like it's a short-lived special interest? I get those all the time, I call them "hit-it-and-quit-it" interests - a sudden, intense focus that goes away once I actually take the step. I guess I just consider them impulses because for me at least they're usually bad ideas; that's where I see the outside-the-box connection, since whatever I'm interested in usually isn't a part of my typical, everyday life.

Well look at that, I done and learned something.
 
Not sure about other NTs but I rarely act on impulse without doing exactly as you described. I'm so afraid of making a major mistake that I overthink it to death first and often try and talk myself out of it if I know it's a risky idea.
 
I always thought of it as “gearing myself up” to do something.
Thinking about it first. Considering what’s involved and how to go about it.

I think I plan meticulously when I have responsibilities to or for others.
Driving, food shopping, redecorating or changing the house (that my family live in too) around.

When it’s only me that my actions concern, maybe not so much planning involved.
That said, when my ocd is quite intense, most things are controlled to a certain degree.
Plenty of planning in advance.

I can wander off.
Could that be considered impulsive?
Out with family, something catches my eye, I wander off to investigate?

Interestingly enough, only my family see it as ‘wandering off’
I see it as satisfying curiosity.
 
Gracey said:
I can wander off.
Could that be considered impulsive?
Out with family, something catches my eye, I wander off to investigate?

Interestingly enough, only my family see it as ‘wandering off’
I see it as satisfying curiosity.
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This annoys the person I am with to no end.
In a store something catches my eye or I think of something I want to look about, I just take off and do it.
Next thing I know my cell is ringing with him asking where in the heck I am. He can be talking to himself as I drift away without saying anything.
Same anywhere we go. Out in a park or woods, businesses, where ever.
I like to do what I want, when I want, without always thinking about how it will effect someone else.
Guess they think it rude, but, that's the do my own thing that's always there.

As far as what I call impulses, such as seeing something I want to buy as an example. I can't just do it.
I have to think it all over. Sometimes I have to take a day or so to decide and then I expect to go back and still find it there. Not always.
But, I just can't act on an impulse. Got to think it out.
 
I often spend hours in a shop looking at products, reading everything on the label carefully, and deciding which product to buy. I tend not to buy on the basis of emotions towards a product, but on the basis of information about it.

Like @Gracey I do get distracted by things or curious about things and can sometimes wander off - or stop to examine something, and get leflt behind.

In part, it's a self-confidence thing - I have an idea, for example, about a thread I want to start here, but then worry and loose confidence, and don't post. Or I want to try something, to eat something and I get as far as the shop door, then can't go in. Or I see the product and anxiety grips me and I don't buy it, I can't go through with whatever it was I wanted to do.
 
Gritches said:
My understanding of how impulses are experienced by NTs is that they get an "impulse" and they immediately get up and go do whatever their impulse tells them to do.

I find that I'm very impulsive, but I'll never just get up and go do something. No, I'll feel like doing something, often something stupid, and I perseverate on it for hours, even days before I actually do it. Planning every last detail, considering every possible contingency, justifying away any cognitive dissonance I might have about how bad of an idea what I'm about to do actually is.

I bring this up because I just did an incredibly impulsive thing that I've never done before. I cut my own hair. But I didn't just up and do it, I planned for several hours in advance how I would do it, and it actually turned out decent. If I had just snapped and did it without any planning, it probably would've went awry.

But for several hours, I had the absolutely seething and burning desire to cut my own hair, for no apparent reason, knowing (or believing; same thing) that it was a terrible idea, that my chances of success were minimal at best. But I just had to do it.

This is the difference I'm wondering about, if it exists, if it's actually a difference: does AS modify impulsive behavior to include the meticulous planning that seems so Aspie-ish? Does anyone else experience impulses this way? It just seems like even though I had that burning desire, the more cautious Aspie part of me told me to plan and prepare, but only so I could sate that burning desire and still have a favorable outcome.
Click to expand...

Cutting your own hair is scary the first time... I did this it turned out okay... Now its #2 or #3 guard on the clippers and off I go and all is good... Plus I just vacuum up the mess... jump in the shower, and look at all the time and money saved, plus no itchy ride home and some dude or lady jacking with my hair moving all around me in a crowded place... I became a good barber... I even cut my little nephews hair sometimes when asked. Guy hair is easy... No girl hair to complicated... : )

As for impulsive yes "internally" but its short lived because I think stuff TO DEATH and then exume it to think it to death 4 or 5 more times... I get upset with myself because I have to figure out every tiny detail of what I am trying to do...

I think most people in life just go for it and hope for the best or buy crap they hate when they get it home... That is not a problem with me... I research what I want to the point I know exactly what I want and then I bring home something i truly wanted that I am pleased with. Now days with the internet... I can spend hours WASTING LIFE researching every little thing I need or think I need... I need a timer that locks me out after a certain time... ooooowww I bet there is an app for that! If not maybe I need to make one... : )

The overthinking timer!!! Yep I need that.
 
SusanLR said:
This annoys the person I am with to no end.
In a store something catches my eye or I think of something I want to look about, I just take off and do it.
Next thing I know my cell is ringing with him asking where in the heck I am. He can be talking to himself as I drift away without saying anything.
Same anywhere we go. Out in a park or woods, businesses, where ever.
I like to do what I want, when I want, without always thinking about how it will effect someone else.
Guess they think it rude, but, that's the do my own thing that's always there.

As far as what I call impulses, such as seeing something I want to buy as an example. I can't just do it.
I have to think it all over. Sometimes I have to take a day or so to decide and then I expect to go back and still find it there. Not always.
But, I just can't act on an impulse. Got to think it out.
Click to expand...

Oh does this sound familiar! Except it's my house mate who does this to me. She's really short and when she wanders off I can't see her because everything is taller than she is, so I have to end up calling her on her cell phone too! I don't see it as rude though, just that she's kind of off in lala land.
 
LucyPurrs said:
Oh does this sound familiar! Except it's my house mate who does this to me. She's really short and when she wanders off I can't see her because everything is taller than she is, so I have to end up calling her on her cell phone too! I don't see it as rude though, just that she's kind of off in lala land.
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HAHAHA, I like lah lah land... Its where everything disappears thats bugging me...
A trip to Lah Lah and an invisibility cloak for a day... Oh the trouble I could get into.
See this is what happens when we live in our heads...
We get weird, and some people think we are cray cray. : )
 
LucyPurrs said:
Yeah get me one of those invisibility cloaks too while you're at it, XD
Click to expand...

Sad part is once you take it off you cant find it...
So I figure just becoming a Warlock might be a better option...
Maybe I can become Merlin 2.0 : )

I woke up in one goofy mood! I must have dreamed good or something... : )
 
Progster said:
In part, it's a self-confidence thing - I have an idea, for example, about a thread I want to start here, but then worry and loose confidence, and don't post.
Click to expand...

Take no prisoners @Progster.
Write out your thing and press post.
Carpe diem.
I’d like to read them :)

...unless you’re going to start discussing nuclear physics,

You’d have to give me at least 12 months to ‘swot-up’ on the basics so I have an idea what your talking about
:)
 
Gritches said:
My understanding of how impulses are experienced by NTs is that they get an "impulse" and they immediately get up and go do whatever their impulse tells them to do.

I find that I'm very impulsive, but I'll never just get up and go do something. No, I'll feel like doing something, often something stupid, and I perseverate on it for hours, even days before I actually do it. Planning every last detail, considering every possible contingency, justifying away any cognitive dissonance I might have about how bad of an idea what I'm about to do actually is.

I bring this up because I just did an incredibly impulsive thing that I've never done before. I cut my own hair. But I didn't just up and do it, I planned for several hours in advance how I would do it, and it actually turned out decent. If I had just snapped and did it without any planning, it probably would've went awry.

But for several hours, I had the absolutely seething and burning desire to cut my own hair, for no apparent reason, knowing (or believing; same thing) that it was a terrible idea, that my chances of success were minimal at best. But I just had to do it.

This is the difference I'm wondering about, if it exists, if it's actually a difference: does AS modify impulsive behavior to include the meticulous planning that seems so Aspie-ish? Does anyone else experience impulses this way? It just seems like even though I had that burning desire, the more cautious Aspie part of me told me to plan and prepare, but only so I could sate that burning desire and still have a favorable outcome.
Click to expand...
So.... how'd your hair turn out? Lol
 
I cut mine myself before. I have always refused a buzz cut and this was no exception. But it was late and a winter storm, and the next day was the first of many times I'd have to go to court over my daughter. 300 mile round trip before the plows were out, so haircut money was going to gas. So I hung one mirror over the bathroom door on a bungee cord. And with the mirrors in the vanity, and all the angles correct, I could see behind me. I went for straight, once I had that down I went for length. Always used to watch how the haircut lady held the hair and scissors together with her finger as a spacer, so I copied that. Actually turned out well, but most things I really try to do with a systematic approach do. People at work couldn't tell, or they would said something, often they are painfully straightforward.

Impulsivity, I agree that most NTs seem to work things out by impulse doing or buying, then decide later if it was worth it or not. Often with the help of their social connections, unless they did something so ridiculous that everybody shuns them. Do first, deal with it later. Easier to ask for forgiveness than permissions, I hear a lot.

For AS, I think it's just a reversal of order. Like you, I get this burning desire to explore an idea to death, and hard to think about other things sometimes. And once I've pretty much played out every scenario, I'll decide if it's worth it, and then go for it, or not. It's still an impulse and the desire to do something about it, that's probably human or even more.

But because of the way the world often works, I have to use what I called the NT method. Because of the ridiculous competition for anything worthwhile, life is like musical chairs. If you see something worthwhile and you don't snap it up instantly, it'll be gone next time you look, and you might not find another for a long time. But it might just be another one of those "up north" things too.
 
Being impulsive in my case more often takes the form of an overwhelming idea or drive that I ponder on for hours and/or days before acting on it.
 
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