Are you married

[janey]

I was wondering how many aspies are married and if so why did you marry. What need does you partner forfill.
For me my wife is my only contact with the rest of humanity without her I would completely alone.

Jan

 

[Beverly]

I am married. We have an open marriage, meaning we are both still free to date others as well - just can't commit to anyone else. For us it's more for legal reasons and friendship. We are best friends, we enjoy many activities together but, there's little to no romance between us.

So companionship, help when needed for chores, financial benefits and such are the main things I gain from my DH. In turn he gains the same from me and, either of us will be well provided for when the other dies.

Probably too practical and logical for most to think it's a good marriage but, we are happy and, it's what we want so, neither of us cares what anyone else thinks of our arrangement.

 

[Warmheart]

I am a widow.

My late hubby has transitioned from this life, as he has learned all he needed to learn.
I am still here, because I am still learning-- and because I still have more love yet to give.

It's been 6 years. Guess I'm coming up on the next Pon Farr.

 

[smileeachday]

I am married

 

[Tom]

Yes. For the 10 Cows and 40 Sheep.

 

[Nisk]

Married-ish been together for 11 years engaged for 2 of them. Although she had to go buy the ring, give it to me and tell me we were engaged. A "weddings" I bad topic for us as well, she wants fancy type I want to sign a piece of paper and be done. "Social anxiety and fear of commitment how you've caused me so much grief".

 

[ancusmitis]

Married-ish been together for 11 years engaged for 2 of them. Although she had to go buy the ring, give it to me and tell me we were engaged. A "weddings" I bad topic for us as well, she wants fancy type I want to sign a piece of paper and be done. "Social anxiety and fear of commitment how you've caused me so much grief".

I thought five years of co-habitation was a principle of common law that made you technically a family. Or is that only in certain jurisdictions? Or is it an urban myth?

 

[Progster]

Yes. I wanted companionship, to share my life with someone on the same wavelength as I am.

 

[Suzanne]

Yes, married to an nt and just celebrated our 24th!

Long story how we got together! Sadly, we married for the wrong reasons. I was a very immature 21 year old who had her entire family turn against her, because she told the police about abuse in the "family". My now husband, was there and felt that he could not walk away from me and so, because he was, well deeply attracted and in love, he chose to marry me, to take care of me. I married him because he was a life line for me. He offered something that I was craving; just a price came with it!

We do love each other and that is why our marriage is still ongoing.

My marriage has taught me many valuable lessons but if he made me a widower, I would not get remarried in a hurry!

 

[On the Inside]

I have been married, divorced, now in a domestic partnership of 12 years. My first marriage was mainly because we had been dating for a while and it seemed the next logical step. I liked her family, so they became my family of choice. She was sociable and fun and easy to be around, so I relied heavily on that, while she relied heavily on me for practical things. Our lives failed to move forward, so we split up.

My current relationship was formed on the mutual need for change and transformation. Deep and complicated story, but neither of us have changed or transformed much, but we do have a kid, and own a house, a car, take vacations. A semblance of an adult life. Again, my partner is more sociable, as well as better at paying bills on time, arranging activities for us, dealing with big decisions. She has relied on me financially.

They have both been the prime drivers of the relationship, they have been my only experiences in relationships, and they wouldn't have formed were it not for their efforts. I try to learn how to show affection, express my feelings, but am still inadequate. Emotional needs are insufficiently met on both sides, but it's working.

 

[metalminx24]

I married at 23, divorced at 24. I'd been with the guy since I was 17 and didn't know what else to do. I knew I didn't really love him, and he told me often enough that he wasn't in love with me either, but I didn't think I could survive alone (the same reason I didn't take my place at university) and he needed my income to stay in the house we bought. On our one year anniversary I thought 'bugger it', got brave and left. I moved into a room in a shared house (nightmare for my OCD and social anxiety!) and lost £3000 when the house sold, but still the best decision ever. ☺

Now is just as complicated as ever, I met a wonderful man online, he's brilliant at dealing with me and my idiosyncrasies. Unfortunately his two boys' mother is even more bonkers than me and could no longer look after them properly, so as of 4 months ago I have 2 teenage sons. It's really bloody hard, so much noise and mess, and that's before even dealing with the attitude! I feel like the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel is a loooong way away...

 

[ASD_Geek]

Married to a wonderful NT lady whom I love. We have love and companionship. I also have someone to bounce my thoughts off of and to help me interpret life.

 

[clg114]

I am married and we have five kids, eleven grandkids and two great-grandkids. For us, family is everything. My wife is a NT lady and she is my guide to the NT social world. I can maneuver in the NT business world, but without her I would be lost everywhere else. She is truly my soul mate.

 

[Gordy]

I am married, on my second marriage, with three children from my first marriage. Only one of them is still at school. The other two are working or studying. I don't do well on my own. Tried it and it got difficult. You know I am typing this and slightly fretting because my wife is away in business and I am on my own. It is ok for a while, but as it gets later in the evening I miss her. She is also not responding to my calls which is starting to worry me. Hmm.

 

[janey]

I am married, on my second marriage, with three children from my first marriage. Only one of them is still at school. The other two are working or studying. I don't do well on my own. Tried it and it got difficult. You know I am typing this and slightly fretting because my wife is away in business and I am on my own. It is ok for a while, but as it gets later in the evening I miss her. She is also not responding to my calls which is starting to worry me. Hmm.

I know what you mean for me obsessive thinking is worst when I am on my own
Jan

 

[garnetflower13]

I am married, have been for three years and we have been together for nearly six. We clicked right away, and things progressed on their natural course, and here we are!

 

[Peeta]

I'm engaged to be married next year. I think I would do well on my own. Sometimes I wonder if it is my preferred way of living even. Only have to clean for myself, do what I want, when I want it and how I want it. Though I do prefer a certain level of companionship and closeness to someone. It's a feeling that can't be substituted by all the cats in the world (I tried ).

My fiancé is... Incredibly frustrating when it comes to cleaning (aka he doesn't) and he's an Aspie too with his own set of idiosyncrasies. However he is there for me. We laugh and support each other. We're at ease with each other. And while I know that I could function very well without a partner, I see it as having a really nice bonus in my life to have one.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I'm married. He gives me a sense of home and something for me to take care of. We create as balanced a relationship as possible and is one of the few people I'm comfortable working with as part of a team. I highly prefer working alone for the most part. And he's one of the only people I'm comfortable letting my feminine side show around. He is the exception to nearly all my rules. Which makes me that much harder to deal with when people can't follow the simple ones like "don't touch me and don't get right in my face to talk to me".

 

[Slithytoves]

I married AC moderator Harrison on July 14th of this year, after swearing I'd never even consider a second marriage. We technically met and got to know each other here. Call it the magic of Trebuchet MS and the same weird wiring.

I wanted to do it because after only a few private messages between us, I knew I had met the man I never thought existed. The thought of not spending the rest of my life with him just wouldn't register. I also liked his last name better than mine.

It's not a very "romantic" relationship, like the kind a lot of NTs imagine, but there's a huge amount of love there. First and foremost, Harrison is my best friend. I have a very assertive, extroverted personality and can only really match up well with someone smarter and stronger than I am. We keep each other grounded but dreaming, too. Our Aspie traits dovetail very well, so we also truly understand each other; I don't think either of us thought that would or even could ever happen. Neither of us really needed this, either, which makes it especially cool that we have it. At 45 and 61, we know we're both extremely lucky.

 

[Slithytoves]

I married at 23, divorced at 24.

I knew I didn't really love him, and he told me often enough that he wasn't in love with me either,

so as of 4 months ago I have 2 teenage sons. It's really bloody hard, so much noise and mess, and that's before even dealing with the attitude! I feel like the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel is a loooong way away...

I'm sorry your first marriage was such a disaster. My first marriage only physically lasted for about a year, too. I get how people can talk themselves into making a commitment for what in hindsight are the wrong reasons. We live and learn, right? I hope you've reached a point where you feel you're stronger for the experience.

I hope you can adapt to your sudden parenthood and make things work with your guy. Teenagers can be tough, but their dad sounds like a winner.

I'm engaged to be married next year.

Congratulations on your engagement! I wish you the very best together.