Are friends or family members disbelieving about your ASD?

[googoochajoob]

My family is, especially my grandma. Ever since I got professionally diagnosed with Asperger's, I have been saying that I'm an Aspie. But my grandma refuses to believe that I have anything "wrong" (it's really not wrong but I don't know what word to use, sorry) with me. She said, "I think you're a beautiful, normal girl." And I don't know, I find that a bit offensive. My aunt and uncle also don't believe that I have Asperger's. It just really, really ticks me off! Does this happen to anyone else?

 

[Ste11aeres]

I'm lucky in that my aunt and uncle are specialists in Aspergers, with an Aspie son. So they had already pre-educated that side of the family. That being said, I haven't actually told my extended family. I have one friend, and I told him. He immediately believed me and it turned out he used to teach Aspie kids and there is reason to think he might have Aspergers as well.

 

[reptarvsj]

Yes, especially since aspergers had been removed from the DSM when I finally got a decent Psychologist. The similarity to other aspies expectation is too high. Teachers either argue that your then, supposed to perform spectacularly or, act uncivil. But if your intelligently spectacular and have behaivior problems that your pstd, borderline or bipolar etc.. I try to stay out of eip. I dont like being spoken to like I have a low IQ.

It's usually the people calling me awesome that automatically believe it or have suspected it. My current Psych that diagnosed me used to work with a group scientist aspies so he hadn't much objection like the psych before them. Experience of multiple people with one thing in common is priceless. And also some autistic teachers i've had believe I'm like them.

 

[Peace]

Hello,
This is true for me as well. These people, like my dad, are from "The Old School". They were taught that things like this do not exist except in your head, and that if you ignore them they will go away, or that you can just choose to believe that they are not real.
I would not worry what others think, and just be secure in your own knowledge.

 

[goodgravy]

I don't really care what my family members or anyone else believes about me or doesn't. My diagnoses is simply a medical opinion that happens to fit well. Approval and acceptance not required. Yep.

 

[Sev]

It took my family about 14 months, after the diagnosis, before they accepted the fact that I am an Aspie. Those 14 months weren't too fun

 

[Sander]

I think my grandmother wouldn't believe it too, she would get angry and say that there's nothing wrong with me and so on. I think she doesn't know. But I don't know who was told I have AS and who hasn't

 

[faithmclaine]

Yes me I am going to be assessed for it I am pretty sure I am an aspie in fact 99% sure so I told my mother and family however I am happy with the realisation that I am an aspie that they said I was obsessed my step grandad and grandma have the same reaction I am hoping my diagnosis will prove them wrong I hate it when they say there was none of that in my day

 

[Spinosaurus kin]

My parents both had issues with accepting, but it was mainly to do with ignorance as to what it actually was.

 

[Nitro]

I have a friend who was schooled in psychology who I told I was autistic...he said he doubted it as it was all just semantics...he doesn't get autism a bit...most of who I have told have been accepting of it,but are very open minded and most likely also have seats on the AS bus...those are the people welcome in my world...nerotyps make good mules for me...I have one NT sister who has a medical background who understood it immediately...her own son is likely a spectrum rider as he is ultra-intelligent and displays all the common traits...as a second year honors college student he has landed an internship with Microsoft with 85% of regular starting pay,a new car and a furnished apartment...my father is suspected AS but does not have an open mind,so my subject has never been discussed with him...my place on the spectrum gave me lots of intelligence hyper-analization and an acute version of visual memory or the alleged non-existant photographic one...I live in a Temple Grandin kind of world and now despise the NT world as I study autism more each passing day... I really wonder now if some deep spectrum non-verbal autistic minds hold even greater abilities that we may never get to know of...that will require a very open mind to look thru that window

 

[rollerskate]

Yes, especially since aspergers had been removed from the DSM when I finally got a decent Psychologist. The similarity to other aspies expectation is too high. Teachers either argue that your then, supposed to perform spectacularly or, act uncivil. But if your intelligently spectacular and have behaivior problems that your pstd, borderline or bipolar etc.. I try to stay out of eip. I dont like being spoken to like I have a low IQ.

It's usually the people calling me awesome that automatically believe it or have suspected it. My current Psych that diagnosed me used to work with a group scientist aspies so he hadn't much objection like the psych before them. Experience of multiple people with one thing in common is priceless. And also some autistic teachers i've had believe I'm like them.

You hit a chord with me about how if you're intelligent then your behavioral issues must be due to bipolar, PTSD, etc.

I must confirm your perception. I'm undiagnosed Aspie. I currently carry five (yes, FIVE) psychiatric diagnoses and 15 years of experience with the mental health system. If I seriously went into a psych office and told them EVERYTHING, I'd probably have twelve or something crazy like that. Before I knew anything about Aspergers, I thought there was something so profoundly wrong and rare going on with me psychologically that it didn't even have a name. I could relate to a lot of random symptoms but never could fully relate to any diagnosis. I'd go to support groups for various conditions and always feel like a zebra in a herd of giraffes... And eventually end up unofficially (and unintentionally) counseling everyone else in the group! I never did better on meds, only worse. Before I finally said no more to the meds they had me almost reduced to a drooling, twitching vegetable. And suicidal to boot... I was so numb and unfeeling and unthinking on the meds life lost all meaning and value. I couldn't enjoy anything, couldn't problem solve or create anything, all I could do day in and out was go through the robotic functions that kept me merely breathing.

I won't go into everything that led up to me feeling this way here, but a lot of issues came with all of that, to the point that now I'm petrified of seeing a psych. Part of the reason I remain undiagnosed as an Aspie is just because I'm scared that either a. A psych will decide nothing is wrong with me at all because I've managed to keep functioning for over a year now with no meds and I'll lose my disability, which I do actually need until I can figure out how to do things like work a full time job in a chaotic environment with NT dreams and games everywhere without losing my mind or b. I'll get even more diagnoses tacked on and get put back on a full regimen of meds (I'm talking like six pills a day) and lose all function altogether.

And the thing I at least think is going on can't be medicated away, but it severely impacts my functioning as a fully capable adult.

Trust me, if there was a pill or therapy or anything that could make this go away, or at least improve my functioning, I would totally be on it.

 

[Sander]

Trust me, if there was a pill or therapy or anything that could make this go away, or at least improve my functioning, I would totally be on it.

Don't we all at least want the possibility to function normal when we need to? It'd be a dream come true if there would be a medicine that would turn us in NT's for a certain amount of time.

 

[Historianthomas]

For me, my best friend seems to not accept it. I think she feels that if she would accept it, I would be damaged. She cares about me, but still does not see that by denying it she refuses to see that part of me. Maybe one day she will. I won't tell my parents because they will completely deny it. My sister, my girlfriend and her parents agree with it.

 

[mama_lotus]

I am undiagnosed, and can relate to so much of what rollerskate said. My current dx is bipolar disorder, but I'm going to see my doctor this week and talk to him about revising it. For now, because I don't want to lay everything out on the table at once, I'm going to suggest we come at things from a severe anxiety level.

Also, there is this part of me that says statistically, anxiety is more likely, so we might as well rule that out first.

I do think I will pursue an AS dx in the next couple of months, mostly because I enjoy labels, they make me feel safe, they help me to categorize.

Even after the confirmation that I am, indeed, hanging out on the autism spectrum, I most likely will only tell my husband. My family doesn't need to know.

 

[Judge]

For me, my best friend seems to not accept it. I think she feels that if she would accept it, I would be damaged. She cares about me, but still does not see that by denying it she refuses to see that part of me. Maybe one day she will. I won't tell my parents because they will completely deny it. My sister, my girlfriend and her parents agree with it.

Yes. Perhaps some day your friend will come to understand that being neurologically different doesn't necessarily equate to being damaged, or deficient. Maybe my cousin will as well.

 

[KassieMac]

For me, my best friend seems to not accept it. I think she feels that if she would accept it, I would be damaged. She cares about me, but still does not see that by denying it she refuses to see that part of me. Maybe one day she will. I won't tell my parents because they will completely deny it. My sister, my girlfriend and her parents agree with it.

This makes absolutely no sense to me … but very little of how people act ever does. Does your friend understand that this is not something that you just caught? It doesn't change who you are … if she's already accepted you as a friend, what difference does it make? You haven't changed, Aspergers is simply a shorthand for a certain set of traits … but you already had those traits when you became friends. If anything, I would think that a friend would be happy for you … this explains the physiology behind why you have those traits & helps you understand yourself & others … but why should it change an established friendship?

People baffle me. I'll just go snuggle with my kittens.

 

[Soup]

Some old school types are reluctant to acknowledge AS (or many other diagnoses) because, inwardly, the feel it somehow reflects badly on the family: almost as though the family were carriers of tainted genes. Many people hear the Autism Spectrum & think of severely affected, non-functional people & think, 'This person is NOTHING like them.' I've also heard of people who think that, by some weird, inexplicable shift, Aspies might 'slide' up & down the spectrum & go from being high-functional, high IQ people to becoming a completely detached 'helmet people' & back again. The prospect of having such a shift happen in their presence frightens them.

There is so much misinformation out there that I am surprised things are not worse than they are!

 

[Nitro]

Some old school types are reluctant to acknowledge AS (or many other diagnoses) because, inwardly, the feel it somehow reflects badly on the family: almost as though the family were carriers of tainted genes. Many people hear the Autism Spectrum & think of severely affected, non-functional people & think, 'This person is NOTHING like them.' I've also heard of people who think that, by some weird, inexplicable shift, Aspies might 'slide' up & down the spectrum & go from being high-functional, high IQ people to becoming a completely detached 'helmet people' & back again. The prospect of having such a shift happen in their presence frightens them.

There is so much misinformation out there that I am surprised things are not worse than they are!

The misinformation is astounding to say the least...

 

[KassieMac]

Some old school types are reluctant to acknowledge AS (or many other diagnoses) because, inwardly, the feel it somehow reflects badly on the family: almost as though the family were carriers of tainted genes. Many people hear the Autism Spectrum & think of severely affected, non-functional people & think, 'This person is NOTHING like them.' I've also heard of people who think that, by some weird, inexplicable shift, Aspies might 'slide' up & down the spectrum & go from being high-functional, high IQ people to becoming a completely detached 'helmet people' & back again. The prospect of having such a shift happen in their presence frightens them.

There is so much misinformation out there that I am surprised things are not worse than they are!

"Fascinating" (cue single raised eyebrow)
"That is not logical"

Most of my life I've felt the difference between me & the rest of the world is that I try to follow logic & reason when everyone around me was being led by their emotions (fear, much of the time). Now I know it's true!

 

[Nitro]

The more I read about bridging the gap to the professionals,the less I ever want a "proper" diagnosis.
My self diagnosis was after learning about autism and in typical AS fashion it is a obsession like all of my studies in the past.
A lifetime was spent in what I now know as the spectrum as I was unaware that I was different.
I have self-educated myself in many areas and brain studies are now my mission since I broke mine...I have not learned all of the language yet,but that day will come...
My broken brain is doing an amazing job rewiring itself and it intrigues me to know why it does.
Pharmacology is a vast experiment akin to playing with a chemistry set and guessing what the results are from a compound you just mixed...sometimes the new compounds have favorable results,other times they do not.
"pros" frighten me now as I reflect on all the mistakes made during my TBI recovery as in failures to treat brain damage properly or ignoring the possibility of me being autistic. I understand that NT medicine can have negative effects on autistic body chemistry and most of what I was given was poison to mine with devastating results. My recovery and rehab was done in what was claimed to be the best available facility,but they are clueless about the spectrum. I was having a meltdown there as it was a live in setting and they pushed me to be more sociable when all I wanted was to be alone. They over medicated me with antidepressants based on my family reporting depression running rampant in the family...Their medical staff just rewrote the prescriptions used by the emergency staff to just keep me alive and had no intention of altering anything being prescribed.They added the anti depressants to the list... There will be a lawsuit in their future and their house of cards will fall

Sorry Aspies,this became a rant