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Featured Anyone nonverbal sometimes ?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Jenisautistic, Mar 12, 2019.

  1. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    May 22, 2017
    When emotionally upset I find it difficult to put a sentence together so it makes sense.
    Especially if the one I'm trying to reply to is the one who upset me.
    Most of the time it is just not wanting to talk.
    I can really get going though if it is with someone I like and has my same special interests.
    But out in public I never start a conversation and try to avoid it.

    I had selective mutism as a child.
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  2. Fantasia

    Fantasia Active Member

    Mar 1, 2019
    I've been wondering about being 'non-verbal'. It's interesting to hear people's stories.

    When I am upset or defensive, I am strongly disinclined to speak. I definitely can speak, I just have no desire to play ball and do so. It takes me positive effort to get over the hump.

    I wondered if this placed me on a sort of 'non-verbal' spectrum, but it sounds like others have a different, physically unable reaction.
  3. Rune

    Rune New Member

    Mar 11, 2019
    I have never understood small talk and why it's necessary.
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  4. Kyou Nukui

    Kyou Nukui music is amazing

    Oct 18, 2018
    I don't talk frequently at all. Maybe less than once a month.
    Usually there's nobody to talk to anyway; but that is partly a choice to avoid the awkwardness of being silent in a social situation.

    I still have selective mutism at 40. I thought it might ease with time but it really didn't.

    I agree about the needlessness of small talk; but it is not, IMHO, the main cause of my SM.

    I can talk about my special interests with someone who shares the same interest or seems interested; but only if it's 1 on 1 and no-one else is within earshot.

    I can (actually I love to) talk to kids, unless someone older walks into the room/ within earshot then I immediately go silent even in mid sentence which is...

    I find writing easier sometimes; but not if I have to start, with nothing to respond to.
    There is an Aspie socialising group i want to try but they only give an email address and no details. I will write one day and ask to attend but I don't know what to say to begin the email. It is very frustrating.

    I sometimes get non-verbal even in writing comments on this and other forums and on YouTube etc.
    I usually edit posts many times and often delete them.

    I take a list to the Dr's too.

    I'm going to try not to edit or delete this post. :)

    Okay just one quick edit.
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  5. Raisedbywolves

    Raisedbywolves Active Member

    Mar 15, 2019
    Yes!! I have always had trouble speaking. But written, I can express my true feelings and intentions. I used to give people hand written notes when there was something very important that I had to get off my chest, or something that I just couldn't say because trying to, I was practically mute.

    Unfortunately, the common response is that I'm a drama queen, even if the note isn't exactly "dramatic".

    NTs are so puzzling sometimes. Maybe we should give them a puzzle piece logo. Because I wish I could understand what they think and feel.
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  6. Fade2black

    Fade2black Well-Known Member

    Mar 7, 2018
    I was diagnosed late in life. Prior to understanding "why" I'm different, I had always wished people could communicate through thoughts rather than words. The reason for this is; thoughts in my head make sense yet when speaking, I could never formulate my words in a way that sound right, or make sense to the other person. Later in life, I realized my words were probably ok, but my body language has never matched my words. Meaning, my more monotone speech didn't exude the excitement of my words when excited, nor did they exude sympathy when I was sympathetic, etc. But, in my head my words carried these emotions.
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  7. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

    Jun 30, 2017
    I’m thankful (much of the time) that in day to day interaction,
    others don’t read exactly what I’m thinking at the time I’m thinking it :)

    When I have to feign interest,

    When I have an opinion but have to verbalise a different one,

    When I would be pleased if another stayed silent,

    When I’m swearing at ...

    I agree, reading thoughts/ emotions would be so much easier,
    If our thoughts weren’t going to upset or offend another :)
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2019
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  8. Weezer

    Weezer Active Member

    Mar 2, 2019
    It depends on the environment and the people to whom I am speaking. If it is a professional environment with peers or superiors, I can speak as if I am a professional speaker. However, if it is a random environment with peers, strangers and especially customers, I lock up tight and have even stuttered. I avoid those types of situations. If I do have to speak to a customer and I have already complete and verified my diagnosis, I can explain his/ her concern better than a TV physician.
    I think it's about staying in your area of interest and subject matter you are comfortable with.
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  9. SimplyWandering

    SimplyWandering Well-Known Member

    Feb 5, 2018
    When its very loud or I have had a long day from work and do something after like shopping... i get headache, words come out of my mouth in incomplete sentences or fragmented. I usually stop talking after that and avoid people.
  10. dragonfire42

    dragonfire42 Perpetual outsider

    Aug 7, 2019
    I feel like I have two different kinds of being unable to speak. One I identify as selective mutism, where I try to speak but can’t force my vocal cords into action no matter how hard I try. The other, I can’t find the words at all, and I think that’s probably more along the lines of being nonverbal. The first kind is definitely anxiety-driven, although anxiety doesn’t help the latter any either. I sometimes will even “lose my words” mid-sentence.
  11. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

    Apr 20, 2016
    Sometimes im too shy to say anything and assume others can read my mind.
  12. HeroOfHyrule

    HeroOfHyrule Chicken Chaser

    Jul 8, 2020
    If I'm overstimulated or really unprepared for a conversation it's like I sometimes physically can't force words out. Then I end up either entirely quiet or stuttering out sounds trying to find the right ones to use to talk.
  13. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Dec 6, 2016
    Yes but I'm brainwashed into everything is a panic attack so non verbal confuses me
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  14. Soleil

    Soleil Well-Known Member

    Jul 31, 2020
    I'm only really comfortable talking if I'm with friends or family. Even then, sometimes communicating takes a lot of effort, even if there's something I want to say. Not just verbal speech either; this includes writing, typing, even sign language. But especially verbal speech.

    This gets worse if I'm tired, and if I'm very upset then I might shut down, and communication goes from "hard" to "nearly impossible".