Anyone In An Aspie/Aspie Relationship Here?

[Girl Anachronism]

Just an ask. I hear a lot about NT/Aspie relationships but I wanted to know if any Aspies here are in a relationship with another Aspie.
A general chat about love I guess
I have a wonderful partner (hate the word boyfriend; too juvenile) and we've been together for over a year.
Like me he can be quite neurotic. He presents himself rather well in social situations as he had earlier intervention but he has confided in me recently that he's just as unsure in social circles as I am.
I feel he may be milder (if that's a way I could put it) in his AS than me but it's noticeable enough.
He's obsessed with video games, computer technology (he builds computers as a hobby), music and 3D graphic art/animation. His love of computers, as well as his polite manner, has taken him to work at IT help desks and website development.
He dislikes pulpy juices (he describes them as 'unpredictable').

I guess one could describe us together as 'cute but intense'. I find that we are highly emotional (good, not bad) in our interactions though sometimes we can be in completely separate rooms and still feel together.
He has been a wonderful, mature force in my life. In social situations where I get HIGHLY nervous he is always willing to be my buffer. We have a lot of eccentric mutual friends which helps us out even more.
I have a feeling that he and I make a great team, so to speak, and it sometimes feels like we are in our own little bubble.
Affection has never been a problem as he and I have same preferences.

What about you? Please feel free to share your story (with permission of course). I'm quite curious and look forward to reading your responses

 

[King_Oni]

I'm in an aspie/aspie relationship. For about 15 months now.

Not to sure if there's a lot to talk about though. It works out fine and I've found that if anything, at least my partner puts up with my quirks, I put up with hers and we can usually discuss and sort issues out pretty well. When we first met up I didn't have my diagnosis and all, but we pretty much managed to get along pretty well and she was accepting about my lifestyle and how my life went on (which apparently, at 30, living at your parents place without a job; and a rather limited outlook, isn't that interesting for most people to think about in terms of relationship material I guess).

Where she is more prone to meltdowns and just can't deal with things, I am more aware of my limits, preferences and things that don't work for me. I'm a bit more outspoken and not shy of saying no. In that sense I"m probably more "extroverted" in standing up for myself and not taking crap, whereas she isn't that outspoken, but is prone to agressive outbursts if pushed too far (yet, I haven't ran into anything major in our relationship that got us in a fight; I'm probably a good diplomat, lol). This makes her seem further on the spectrum, though she's more social, engages more in group activities (though it really depends on what kind). I'm not social at all, aside from my girlfriend and an aspie friend I don't have a social life and I"m fine with that. Perhaps it's because I'm also used to living in a smaller city (about 50.000 people), and she lives in a large city (about 800.000 people).

We share a lot of interests, and the interests we don't share, we're perfectly fine with of the other engaging in them. The funniest thing actually is that I had silly arguments with partners in the past for having expensive hobbies (I'm a tabletop wargamer, amongst other things), yet she doesn't have a problem with it, since her hobby obviously is more expensive (she collects Ball-jointed dolls). Hobbies quite often are more than just "a hobby"... they can turn into slightly obsessive things and it's not that easy to see it as "it's expensive, and it's wrong to like this". For what it's worth; I paint plastic soldiers, I play videogames, I have transformer toys in my room, I enjoy 80's cartoons and I'm not even gonna start about music preference, belonging to certain subcultures and appearance.

Aside from hobbies and interests, there's a lot we share, including our preference in art, videogames, movies and then some, which obviously makes it easier to pick a movie out.

Something I talked about in another thread the other day; I have the weirdest "link" with her. Quite often I end up finishing her sentences and tell her what she's thinking, just based on "guessing"... I've ran into situations where either of us just had to think about the other one and a text appeared on either our phones... yes, it's that weird, lol. This does make it easier to understand her since I pretty much "know" what's on her mind... she isn't bothered by it and doesn't feel like it's "intrusive"...

Oh, I should also mention. It's a long distance thing. She lives about 100 miles up north. That probably makes the aforementioned "mental link" a bit more creepy. We usually see each other once every 2 or 3 weeks for a day. Sometimes she stays over, but I'm not really a good sleeper with company around. Luckily she understands and is fine with it since she stresses that she needs her personal space as well (not neccesarily in an argument towards me; but more in the sense of not being interested to stay over for days and hanging out just for the sake of hanging out).

I don't see her, as you mentioned, as a "mature force" in my life... and most likely, I'm not a mature force in her life either. I don't know if "mature" is something that applies to me... people told me over and over again that I'm not mature and it doesn't suit me. I'm fine the way I am... I'm probably as mature as the next social awkward comic book store owner with a preference for body modifications, strange haircuts and a goth wardrobe (so actually I ended up talking about appearance and all, heh).

That all said; In the past I was in a relationship for about 8,5 years with a girl/woman and that went amiss partially due to me not becoming more mature and her obviously becoming so and thinking more about career and money than having fun. I do however suspect she's on the spectrum as well. Which might explain why I held out as long as I did with her.

That's it for now... I might end up getting back to this thread... I'm tired :sleep:

 

[Girl Anachronism]

That's lovely! Yeah, a lot of his obsessions diverge from mine except for taste in music and our rather secondary interest in subcultures. We do though share a lot in literature, films and love of the web. I am prone to emotional outbursts (apparently quite common amongst Aspie females) however my man and I only ever had one or two fights and they weren't even that major.