Anyone else terrified of driving?

[Chance]

That's why I prefer manual transmissions with performance suspensions and steering. To be able to "feel" the car based on the slightest action I make as the driver. Many cars are designed quite the opposite...which I loathe. Though I suspect a great deal of people out there prefer as if they were riding on a magic carpet...lol. Whatever.

This is my kind of magic carpet ride

 

[Judge]

This is my kind of magic carpet ride

I'm more partial to all those turns myself. Even on a simulator.

 

[Heron]

This is ALL about kbb0. Isn't it?

 

[hutchie]

That's why I prefer manual transmissions with performance suspensions and steering. To be able to "feel" the car based on the slightest action I make as the driver. Many cars are designed quite the opposite...which I loathe. Though I suspect a great deal of people out there prefer as if they were riding on a magic carpet...lol. Whatever.

Roads in th uk are pot hole ridden, uneven with constant digging, poor resurfacing, pot holes generally get repaired in December, then back to holes in January after bad weather, sports suspension would be very painful and back knackered with constant bumps. Cars wouldn't last long either.

 

[Judge]

Roads in th uk are pot hole ridden, uneven with constant digging, poor resurfacing, pot holes generally get repaired in December, then back to holes in January after bad weather, sports suspension would be very painful and back knackered with constant bumps. Cars wouldn't last long either.

Aston Martin, McLaren, Lotus and Jaguar will be so disappointed.

But then driving my MG's on the best of roads here didn't keep them from breaking down either. Oh well...still not bad cars to learn to drive a stick.

 

[Heron]

Now I see, everybody support kbb0 in her struggle, or not.

 

[Heron]

Stupid question, while you are among them …

 

[Heron]

Certinly I'm NOT among them

 

[Heron]

Certinly I'm NOT among them …

 

[hutchie]

Now I see, everybody support kbb0 in her struggle, or not.

Yes, when learning, it's multi tasking with a lot to do, so much to take in with new skills at the same time, I think it's called empathy, massive sensory processing, and that's for most people I guess, isn't it?

And the general poor standard of driving for various reasons keeps me off the road despite my experience, it's scary for me, too much, plus I have a problem with red and green, they're everywhere , Myers Irlen problem.

 

[Judge]

Yes, when learning, it's multi tasking with a lot to do, so much to take in with new skills at the same time, I think it's called empathy, massive sensory processing, and that's for most people I guess, isn't it?

It is a lot to take in at first. But as a skill, it remains something that can be accomplished over time with patience, dedication and practice.

 

[hutchie]

It is a lot to take in at first. But as a skill, it remains something that can be accomplished over time with patience, dedication and practice.

That I'm not so sure of, theres some really bad drivers out there, but in general yes. It's a hard one as there will be no evidence maybe,

 

[Judge]

That I'm not so sure of, theres some really bad drivers out there, but in general yes. It's a hard one as there will be no evidence maybe,

Many bad drivers remain the ones who take it all for granted. Something you really can't afford no matter how much time one has behind the wheel.

It's what makes me most concerned about just getting around in a grocery store parking lot. Where people tend to be terribly careless given much lower speeds despite multiple exposures often in all four directions.

While one can become reasonably skilled depending on their own level of comfort, it's no guarantee that they will avoid any and all accidents. Perhaps the most one can hope for is to remain vigilant every time they get into the driver's seat, no matter how long or short a trip may be.

Fear of driving? In the "big picture" that's a good thing. Very constructive and it will serve you well. Just don't let it keep you from getting into the driver's seat.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I had to respond to this, as it's something that's been a massive issue for me for years. I love cars and love travelling, but still haven't managed to get my licence.

I never took driving lessons with the rest of my classmates in college, as I had too many other problems going on and my parents weren't interested in letting me learn. Then when I finally got behind a wheel, it was while living abroad. I had no real lessons, just 'this makes it go, this makes it stop, this makes it turn, use this stick when changing speed' and then just started driving along fairly empty roads with a big van. Except it was on the wrong side.

So when I moved back to the UK and wanted to take my UK test, I had to try and learn all over again and change to the other side of the road, which really threw me. I have zero spacial awareness and get left and right really mixed up. I also have terrible short term memory. But my long term memory is incredibly good, so I learn to do things in routines like a computer program. So trying to forget and relearn that driving routine on the opposite side of the road was really difficult and I got into a huge mess where I was forgetting other things too as part of that routine. Plus, my instructor wasn't great and would just get annoyed that I could do the advanced stuff but was an idiot when it came to the basics. I spent over £1k on lessons and still couldn't get it to stick, then gave up when I moved home.

Then I was in a couple of crashes, which made me wary of being in any car for a while. Plus my family weren't that helpful and got annoyed that I'd made it to 30 without getting a car. So I just quit trying for a long time.

But I recently found an amazing instructor through a colleague who has taught and passed loads of people with autism, dyspraxia and other things. I've had a few lessons with him so far, and he is UTTERLY BRILLIANT!!! This guy deserves a knighthood! He hasn't shouted at me once and teaches in a completely different way to all the other instructors I've spoken to. He has a grown up nephew with high functioning autism, so he completely understands the way I think and learn things and teaches based on that. I'm still nervous when I get behind the wheel, but that's gradually going away and I don't feel like rubbish if I make any mistakes. He knows when I will 'hear' him say something and when I am too focused on other things and can't listen, he will use gestures instead of saying 'left' and 'right' if I am already multi-tasking, and he is structuring every lesson as a set routine that I can then modify later on once it's embedded in my brain. I'm so excited now! I feel like within a year (at max) I will finally FINALLY be able to pass the test and get a car of my own and stop feeling like such a failure!

To anyone struggling with driving, I would say just do a lot of research and find an instructor that is willing to teach the right way. It makes a huge difference!

 

[Sid Delicious]

Update on above: I passed my driving theory exam on Friday (got 100% on the questions! Woooooo!) and just got back from my 7th practical lesson doing roundabouts. For those of you in the USA, roundabouts are a useful alternative we have over here to avoid traffic lights at crossroads. But they require a LOT of multitasking while you learn to use them, as everyone is continuously moving, changing lanes and signalling and you have to do a bunch of stuff at the right time and in the right order while watching what everyone else is doing. It's probably the hardest part of driving for me. So I'm pretty pleased with myself for not panicking or stopping or hitting anything/anyone!

 

[bbc-bananasplit]

In answer to the opening post: Yes, I get nervous when I am supposed to drive. So much more, when I am the driver with other's I'm responsible of with me in the car.

I am slow
I forget a lot of things
I can't handle it all at the same time
I sweat a lot
I have an aweful feeling for space / dimensions of the car
I can't decide quickly when two options are presented: I block and shut down.
I'm scared of narrow driving lanes, trucks and of parking the car
I hate other people watching me when I am driving

Well... not to drive was not an option, so I did a lot of driving, and with years of practice I became better. However, I've had my license now for 8 years, and I have now the level of security others have after a year of driving. I guess, just going for practice rides every day and driving a lot of different types of road and situation will help. After a while it desentisizes.

 

[pjcnet]

I was fine with driving virtually every day for almost 25 years without a single accident until health issues stopped me, however some people just don't get on with driving whether they're autistic or not. My Mum is one of those people and she is NT. When I passed my driving test at 17 (the youngest legal age in the UK) it was perfectly legal to be the qualified driver for a learner on the very day you passed your test (this is no longer the case in the UK), so even I tried to take my Mum out on some driving lessons not long after I passed. It didn't matter how patient I was however she just panicked every single time she had control of the vehicle, I tried and tried to no avail and she then took professional lessons, but even a qualified instructor had no joy after multiple attempts, in fact she's tried taking lessons on a number of occasions throughout her life, even when I was a young child, but never improved because she was always so terrified and simply couldn't overcome it. Eventually when she was in her mid 40s she finally gave up and accepted that she simply wasn't cut out to drive, yet I was the one who was supposed to find it difficult being on the autistic spectrum. Having poor motor skills was one trait I didn't inherit however, that said I think it might be partly to do with playing video games as part of my special interest in computers since the age of 10 because when I was very young I did have some issues that I seemed to overcome and I was always extremely poor at physical sports, especially those that involved catching or hitting with a racket or bat.

Please don't give up however if you still want to drive, just because my Mum didn't succeed doesn't mean you won't overcome your fears and there's plenty of people on the autistic spectrum who are good drivers too.

Edit:
Wow that's determination:

You can't be that bad and even she passed her test eventually lol!

 

[Martin McNickle]

Other drivers fear me.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I thought I'd post here about a bad lesson too (for anyone reading this and thinking it sounds too easy).

Today's lesson was complete and utter <insert expletive here> and it felt as though the connection between my brain and limbs was full of glue! I made some incredibly stupid mistakes, like mixing up left and right signalling, taking the wrong exit on a roundabout, speeding, braking instead of accelerating, having zero idea of how wide the car was and nearly hitting stuff before the instructor took over... all things that I had mastered in earlier lessons and can normally do! My brain would say 'ok, you need to turn left here' and my arms would just do whatever the hell they wanted! I have no idea what happened and apologised to my instructor when we ended the lesson as I was so crap! Fortunately, he has the patience of a saint and never gets annoyed. But it was embarrassing! I was really angry at myself when I got home!

I'm blaming lack of sleep, as it was the first morning lesson we've done and I'm naturally nocturnal and can barely function before midday. But still, I had no idea just how slow my brain is that time of day! I know I'm far more clumsy a few hours after I wake up and can't manage conversations, so it's interesting to know how severely it affects my driving for future reference. I'm considering getting a note added to my licence when I finally pass the test stating "can only drive unaccompanied between the hours of 12:01pm and 3am"!

But I've calmed down now and will just get back behind the wheel in the new year and start again. My instructor is happy for me to book all my other lessons and the practical test in the afternoon and said as long as I'm aware of my limits then it's not a big deal. It's better to try these things while I'm learning with another person in the car than after I've passed and start driving on my own.

 

[pjcnet]

I thought I'd post here about a bad lesson too (for anyone reading this and thinking it sounds too easy).

Today's lesson was complete and utter <insert expletive here> and it felt as though the connection between my brain and limbs was full of glue! I made some incredibly stupid mistakes, like mixing up left and right signalling, taking the wrong exit on a roundabout, speeding, braking instead of accelerating, having zero idea of how wide the car was and nearly hitting stuff before the instructor took over... all things that I had mastered in earlier lessons and can normally do! My brain would say 'ok, you need to turn left here' and my arms would just do whatever the hell they wanted! I have no idea what happened and apologised to my instructor when we ended the lesson as I was so crap! Fortunately, he has the patience of a saint and never gets annoyed. But it was embarrassing! I was really angry at myself when I got home!

I'm blaming lack of sleep, as it was the first morning lesson we've done and I'm naturally nocturnal and can barely function before midday. But still, I had no idea just how slow my brain is that time of day! I know I'm far more clumsy a few hours after I wake up and can't manage conversations, so it's interesting to know how severely it affects my driving for future reference. I'm considering getting a note added to my licence when I finally pass the test stating "can only drive unaccompanied between the hours of 12:01pm and 3am"!

But I've calmed down now and will just get back behind the wheel in the new year and start again. My instructor is happy for me to book all my other lessons and the practical test in the afternoon and said as long as I'm aware of my limits then it's not a big deal. It's better to try these things while I'm learning with another person in the car than after I've passed and start driving on my own.

Virtually everyone has bad driving lessons, I remember a particularly hated spot where I would often get into difficulty, it was a hill start at a crossroad junction where you had to give way at a stop sign and even though I'd coped okay with worse junctions this particular junction seemed cursed and I'd always get very anxious when approaching it. I would usually panic and stall the vehicle there, embarrassing myself with loads of annoyed drivers behind who I'd also fear rolling back into lol! After going to this spot and failing miserably it would sometimes effect me for the rest of the lesson as I'd constantly keep mulling over it making further mistakes. I overcome it eventually, but even after I'd passed my test and was driving for years I still didn't like the junction.

I remember once when I was driving not long after I'd passed my test when a learner driver kept stalling the vehicle at a set of traffic lights and when the lights turned back to red without anyone getting through a driver behind started getting angry, repeatedly banging his horn and shouting even though he could see it was clearly a learner driver in a very well marked driving school vehicle just in front of him. This is obviously not only inconsiderate, but also against the law and you have to be especially patient of learner drivers. His inappropriate behaviour seemed to make the learner worse and she was there struggling for quite a while. The funny part of the story however is unbeknown to the impatient man a couple of cars back just behind me in the queue was a police car with 2 officers who witnessed the whole thing, one officer got out of the vehicle and showed up at his car window while he was still kicking off, this suddenly shut him up and the officer demanded that he pulled over at the other side of the lights in a safe place when he was almost certainly booked lol! Obviously the officer had no issue with the learner driver who did finally pull away successfully shortly after the officer had intervened. Every driver has to learn and most qualified drivers have also been in embarrassing situations when they were learning. It's nice sometimes to see people get their just deserves, shame it doesn't happen a lot more often.