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Anyone else have this? (related to heights)

kenaij

AQ score: 38, Aspie Score: asp 142/200 nt 58/200
So, I have always claimed to have a fear of heights. It made sense. Whenever I stood somewhere that was high there was a feeling of fear and nervousness.
But I have come to the conclusion that it might not be the height persee. I`m going to try and explain what it is.
But since English is not my native language I hope I can get across what I mean.

So essentially. I`m afraid of doing something stupid and sudden which will cause me to fall from this great height.
Like, when I`m sitting in an appartment and the door to the balcony is open. There is a fear I will suddenly get up. Run to the balcony and jump of. Not being able to stop myself, and only realising I`ve done something stupid when it is too late. And I die.

It is worse when I`m actually already on the balcony. Since the movement is more swift. But being in the living room with the door open already gives me this fear.
I also have it with my children. When my parents (who live on the 7th floor) are on the balcony with my children. I really cannot look, since I`m afraid I might see one fall of because they have done something stupid. It has nothing to do with not trusting my parents. And logically I know nothing will happen. But the fear just overtakes me.

I don`t really know where it came from. It might be because I had a fanfiction based on Dragonball which I got so deep into that I believed I might actually have those power, of which one was flight. And I remember thinking that maybe those powers would only present themselves when they really needed to. Like jumping of of a great height.
That is the earliest I remember this fear. Of my being able to think of that and actually wanting to try it.
Now I know that was just a special interest going way to far. Because I did not fit in so I might be an alien etc.
But the fear still remains.

Anyone else have something that is similar to this? Or some other kind of complete illogical fear other people do not get?
 
I think I understand what you’re talking about. It actually sounds a bit like anxiety induced intrusive thoughts. It’s your brains way of protecting you and your children, by imagining the worst case scenario. I have had violent intrusive thoughts for most of my life, and it is a similar feeling to what you described. I know I’m not gonna do anything and nothing is going to happen, but my brain teases me with the minimal action it would take to do the worst thing that I can imagine.

I may be describing it in a much more serious way than you experience, but I have studied this in depth with multiple therapists as a symptom of obsessive compulsive behaviors and thoughts. The alert system of our brains can be so attuned to sensing danger that it creates its own scenarios as a warning system.
 
I don't have a fear that I am going to do something stupid that causes me to fall from a height, but my fear of heights is entirely based around fear of falling from them in general.

Like I don't have any issues being on an airplane or being on, say, the 7th floor of a tall building (even if I can look out the window and see how high I am) because I'm not going to suddenly fall out of a plane or anything like that, but if I have to climb a ladder? Yeah, I'm afraid I might lose my balance and fall or if I'm on a balcony, I'm afraid it might break off and take me with it down to the ground and I'll get injured - or worse.
 
I'm afraid of heights. Both from a self-preservation aspect, but also as the OP says - from intrusive, dark thoughts where I think of some way to meet my demise. Happens when I see knives and other implements too.

I recall a castle in Wales that I visited with my ex. The spiral staircase wall suddenly disappeared. So I went back down. Kristy went up onto the battlements and said it was so damaged, and the railing so short that it barely came up to knee height. I was feeling dizzy just looking up at her on the battelements. Another castle we visited during the same trip to Wales was on the cliffs on the beach. The edge of the wall had a grass about 3 metres wide and then a sheer cliff drop into the ocean. I hugged the wall of the castle the entire time we walked.

Ed
 
This sounds like something called "the call of the void", and it's actually a normal human experience. A lot of people experience the urge to do something, or a preoccupation with that thing happening, like jumping off a tall building, jerking the steering wheel into oncoming traffic, stabbing themselves with a knife they are holding, etc. It's been theorized that it has something to do with your brain assessing the risk of things, though I don't know how it results in either the urge to do that thing or a preoccupation with it happening.
 
While I do not fear heights, having climbed 50ft ladders with little surrounding protection, I do suffer from mild vertigo if the conditions are right. If you have seen the Alfred Hitchcock film Vertigo, the visual representation of the character's vertigo is very accurate. It feels like your body is falling away from you. I do not get dizzy or faint, but very wobbly-kneed.
 
I do experience something similar. I hate heights, but it has more to do with looking up than looking down. That makes me feel unstable, like nothing is below me. Or I have less control since I'm not looking down.
 
I tend to be very uneasy when I can see down and I don't feel some sort of safety net. This includes hiking trails where there's no rope or railing between me and a steep drop, but also if I'm at a shopping mall on an upper floor with glass panels - I have a worry that some kid might run into me and the glass fails and I crash through, and so I'll stay away.

With hiking, I can lose my balance when going downhill easily, and so for steeper trails where there's a gondola or other ride off the mountain, I prefer to hike up only.
 
Sounds fairly reasonable to me. Personally I have a fear of dropping things from heights. Like my phone will slip out my hand, or a pen will somehow hop out my pocket, or a button will fall from my cuff.
 
I went through a period in my life where I had those intrusive thoughts and yet I knew I would never act upon them.
I asked a psychologist about it back in my teens and was told it was a combination of anxiety and OCD.
The thoughts were the obsession. I've gotten past most of that, but I do still have some intrusive thoughts that create anxiety.
Some do relate to heights.

I wouldn't use an elevator until I was 18.
Fear of it falling or being stuck in it and panic.
I still don't like driving over high bridges. Thought is I might lose control and go over the sides. This creates anxiety.
Also, I will not fly.
That one is realistic in my mind.
I know they say it is safer than driving, but the thought of nothing but a vulnerable
tin floor between me and the ground thousands of feet below, nope.
Add being stuck in there with people all around, can't say stop I want off.
Then the thought of air pockets and thunderstorms happening. Oh, my.
The perfect brew for a panic attack I couldn't get out of.
 
I'm scared of airplanes, bridges, cliffs, being in (most) elevators, and if I am in a tall building with a high ceiling or a shopping mall and I look up, I feel like I'm going to faint or throw up.
If I'm driving over a bridge, I have to only look straight ahead, if I look to the side I will probably have a panic attack.
 
So, I have always claimed to have a fear of heights. It made sense. Whenever I stood somewhere that was high there was a feeling of fear and nervousness.
But I have come to the conclusion that it might not be the height persee. I`m going to try and explain what it is.
But since English is not my native language I hope I can get across what I mean.

So essentially. I`m afraid of doing something stupid and sudden which will cause me to fall from this great height.
Like, when I`m sitting in an appartment and the door to the balcony is open. There is a fear I will suddenly get up. Run to the balcony and jump of. Not being able to stop myself, and only realising I`ve done something stupid when it is too late. And I die.

It is worse when I`m actually already on the balcony. Since the movement is more swift. But being in the living room with the door open already gives me this fear.
I also have it with my children. When my parents (who live on the 7th floor) are on the balcony with my children. I really cannot look, since I`m afraid I might see one fall of because they have done something stupid. It has nothing to do with not trusting my parents. And logically I know nothing will happen. But the fear just overtakes me.

I don`t really know where it came from. It might be because I had a fanfiction based on Dragonball which I got so deep into that I believed I might actually have those power, of which one was flight. And I remember thinking that maybe those powers would only present themselves when they really needed to. Like jumping of of a great height.
That is the earliest I remember this fear. Of my being able to think of that and actually wanting to try it.
Now I know that was just a special interest going way to far. Because I did not fit in so I might be an alien etc.
But the fear still remains.

Anyone else have something that is similar to this? Or some other kind of complete illogical fear other people do not get?
I have the similar feeling except if I'm in an airplane, up in a man lift with a harness on clipped into the hoist, or if Im on a high scenic spot the rail must be higher than mid chest for me to approach all them circumstances listed I feel fine. Now if I climb a 12 ft ladder, on the roof of my 1 story house I move extremely slow and the internal feeling is suffocating but repeatability desensitizes me to it.

I feel there is a fine line between fear and mitigating probable risk given the possible circumstances of error. Repeatability conditions the mind to surpass and build strength in overcoming high degree of dangers. For example driving cars on a 2 lane highway....your 6 feet and or 5degree of steering wheel rotation for a head on collision in a 3500lb vehicle; yet we do this everyday with out batting an eye.
 
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When I was younger, I had no fear of heights and I loved roller coasters.

Now I don't like either. I can't even stand to look at video of people on top of skyscrapers or at cliff tops.

I can "attenuate" myself to heights for a short period. For example, I went with my family to Disney's California Adventure and rode the giant ferris wheel three times over a few days. The first time, I could only look at the cage I was in and the large support beams of the ferris wheel. The second time, I was able to look outward over the city, but not directly down. The third time, I was able to look around wherever I wanted. Of course, that was temporary.
 
I will quote someone I knew long ago:

"I don't have a fear of skydiving,
I have a fear of a planet flying up and smacking into me."

I thought that was quite funny.

So, I guess it's the same. I love mountains, oceanside cliffs, grand vistas from a glacier-topped peak. I love climbing. I am not afraid of losing control, as you were saying you are afraid of.

Rather I guess I'm afraid of making an error while being careful. You know, the planet flying up at me scenario.

But the best we can do, is to be well trained, so that those that depend on us can feel protected when we are in control of the situation.
 
I never been afraid of heights. Even close to a mountain top with extreme distance. I've been overwhelmed at times, but I wouldn't call it fear. I can understand that some people do have fear for that thing. It is a reasonable thing to be afraid of.
 

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