A huge part of the struggle is based in the litany we would hear growing up. For any ND kid that is more than 20,000 negative corrections by the age of 10. On average between 50 - 100 corrections per day from parents, teachers, you name it.
Thinking one's worth is less than dirt is par for the course for NDs. From a personal standpoint, I know dirt actually has a more useful function than I do. So my exact worth is right around three days less than dirt. As insignificant as a decaying particle of marine snow.
From an unhealthy coping mechanism standpoint, I just always assume anything I do, deliberately done to the best of my ability, is going to be a complete failure, even though this assumption has never proven to be true. If it works out, it gets attributed to being a fluke in a flawed human system.
I do work to the best of my ability because I was taught to expect nothing less. Do I expect other people to understand this or to work to this standard? No. Why? Because I have to atone for existing and potentially creating an inconvenience for others because I exist. Is it logical? No. Is it reasonable? Again, no. The only upside, you can't be disappointed by an unreasonable expectation and no one can be any harder on you than you already are.
This is the paradox at work. Doing something to the best of one's ability, even if it includes completely undermining one's own worth because who knows you better than you? Right?
Legitimately, how many of us can comfortably accept or acknowledge positive feedback?
Conundrums and paradoxes aside, a doable workaround, don't compare yourself with other people. They are not you. Do you to the best of your ability simply to prove to your self that you can at least meet your baseline expectations of you. And when others compare your baseline to the whole you will probably be surprised at how far up the stack you are placed by others.
A lot of it, is finding a workable context with yourself and not being dependent on the opinions of others to establish one's self worth.
There is a big difference between having a bargain basement setting of personal worth and the crippled self esteem that powers things like narcissism. The prior, is something you make peace with, it is an unchanging constant, the latter, is a motivating factor in even the smallest actions and a constant wound that is being deliberately targeted.
How we accept or acknowledge failure is as important, may actually be more important, than success.
Failing with grace is a skill few even acknowledge is a skill, but it is in itself, a very powerful tool because it allows one to challenge one's self for the sake of challenge, and isn't dependent on the outcome.