Alexithymia

[Rainbowcat]

Hello,
My counsellor had told me I am dissociated from my feelings ,my anxiety and anger i feel without any reason ,stem from that. He suggested me to keep a journal and write all my thoughts during my day. It really helped me to feel more in touch with my self. That did not happen in one day,it took me at least couple of months of doing that. I had trouble , still have in handling my anger and anxiety. I would go from not feeling anything to feeling extremely anxious and angry afterwards. It is like a switch,being turned on/off.

Keeping a journal of your thoughts might help you!

 

[Alexej]

Thanks @zozie - it was not as difficult as I thought, and the black white approach of the military makes sense.

 

[Maky]

Keeping a journal of your thoughts might help you!

I've kept journals before, and it doesn't change anything. At most, it makes me angrier at other people for how they treat me and the few I care about. Except for a few rare individuals, I don't feel any attachment. Almost every relationship is calculated to make sure I'm not being taken advantage of. I feel empathy and mask, so people don't usually assume that I'm a sociopath, but that's it. Otherwise, I mostly feel sadness and anger, or nothing at all. But thanks for the suggestion.

 

[Rainbowcat]

I've kept journals before, and it doesn't change anything. At most, it makes me angrier at other people for how they treat me and the few I care about. Except for a few rare individuals, I don't feel any attachment. Almost every relationship is calculated to make sure I'm not being taken advantage of. I feel empathy and mask, so people don't usually assume that I'm a sociopath, but that's it. Otherwise, I mostly feel sadness and anger, or nothing at all. But thanks for the suggestion.

You are welcome. I understand. I've been taken advantage of so called friends in the past,have become more cautious.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

The thing about not understanding my negative emotions (and sometimes emotions in general) is that I can tell that my emotion is negative but the emotion reads something like:

Udfigivififudufogvovogogogo9g0hy0g0t9rr7dudyxiztyuztuyxuyvu0ivfu99ucd9y9ydf0uff9uffIf9ucuovpivIuoic9ufd68d68s5w575sd8yc9ug9i9gidy87yda4747aw46whgww6w6e7dffffdswwfhjuy

Which obviously can't be put into comprehensive human words. So I just refer to that as me being "upset" or "distressed" (depending on severity).

However this also leads to more misunderstandings when I try to communicate how I feel because of oversimplification.

I have alexithymia. About 1/10 people have it, but it is more common in Autistic people.

I can read other people's emotions pretty well. I'm kind of an empath. But when it comes to my own emotions I often struggle understanding them, both positive and negative ones. Since alexithymia is untreatable, I think it is best that I just learn how to cope with a negative emotion that I can't understand.

DISCLAIMER: I am speaking from my own experiences. Alexithymia will effect different people in different ways.