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Alcohol to get through social situations

My fifth day without alcohol is almost over and it wasn't pleasant. A ton of what I can only describe as nervous energy that I had to dissipate with all-day leg-bouncing. I know I did this in my teens and 20s but I don't remember specifically having this kind of energy.

Is "nervous energy" the feeling you get when you need to stim?
 
Day 6. If I make it to tomorrow, that'll be a milestone I've achieved only a handful of times in the past 10 years.

I've decided I'm going to clean out my closet tomorrow and donate all my expensive work clothes. It's not who I am and I hate these things. And I'll organize by color and function. I did that in the past as well, but then things kind of fell apart between kids and alcohol.

I don't know if I like the sober me - it seems to come with a lot of stimming, a lot of nervous energy, a lot of rumination. But I can't keep running away from that person.
 
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