A symptom of Neurodiversity or something else?

[blue_bird]

Let me first state that I am not officially diagnosed and only merely brought up the subject of autism once to which I was told by a psychiatrist that I was too intelligent and articulate to be autistic. It seems unlikely that I'll be considered on the spectrum since where I stay only people with severe autism are considered autistic. Anyway regardless of this I was wondering what my biggest problem is...

And summed it up in one word... FEAR. I have lived with a mental state of excessive fear all of my life. My current isolated lifestyle is just a culmination of my adaptations and idiosyncrasies due to my fearful state. So my question is. Is my inate state of fear due to be being neurodiverse? I can't think of any other explanation since I never suffered from any trauma, abuse or neglect in my early years. Why was I just born a freaful wreck? Am I a case of some type of faulty neurology?

Doess anyone else live with this extreme sense of fear and anxiety fuelled by avoiding more fear? Is this normal for people on the spectrum? I have a cousin with classic, severe autism but i won't be able to ask these questions to him.

Any help or resources on this would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Judge]

Let me first state that I am not officially diagnosed and only merely brought up the subject of autism once to which I was told by a psychiatrist that I was too intelligent and articulate to be autistic.

Such a crass generalization on behalf of your physician would be enough for me to seriously consider being examined by another psychiatrist who specializes in autism cases. I'd also discount any considerations of environmental explanations for autism. Though science has yet to pin down why it happens, many believe the answer lies in genetics.

As far as considerations of fear and/or anxiety go, it would seem that more people on the spectrum have to deal with such things than others. For myself such anxiety is further complicated by my OCD.

There's a Major Link Between Autism and Anxiety

While the two conditions are distinct, there's a lot of overlap.

www.healthline.com

 

[Misty Avich]

Let me first state that I am not officially diagnosed and only merely brought up the subject of autism once to which I was told by a psychiatrist that I was too intelligent and articulate to be autistic. It seems unlikely that I'll be considered on the spectrum since where I stay only people with severe autism are considered autistic. Anyway regardless of this I was wondering what my biggest problem is...

And summed it up in one word... FEAR. I have lived with a mental state of excessive fear all of my life. My current isolated lifestyle is just a culmination of my adaptations and idiosyncrasies due to my fearful state. So my question is. Is my inate state of fear due to be being neurodiverse? I can't think of any other explanation since I never suffered from any trauma, abuse or neglect in my early years. Why was I just born a freaful wreck? Am I a case of some type of faulty neurology?

Doess anyone else live with this extreme sense of fear and anxiety fuelled by avoiding more fear? Is this normal for people on the spectrum? I have a cousin with classic, severe autism but i won't be able to ask these questions to him.

Any help or resources on this would be greatly appreciated.

Your case is the same as mine. I'm intelligent at things autistic people typically aren't meant to be intelligent in, but I'm not intelligent in the things autistic people are meant to be intelligent in.
I'm also crippled by fear and anxiety. I was an anxious, sensitive child from about the age of 4, even though I wasn't abused or treated badly in any way at home. It seems I was born with anxiety. My mother had anxiety issues too and was prone to depression, so I reckon it rubbed off on me too.

So that is why I often question my diagnosis (yes, I'm diagnosed with Asperger's). I do wish only people with severe autism were autistic, and there was just another name for people like me and you, although I have ADHD too, but my social isolation in my teenage years was too prominent for just ADHD and anxiety, even though I was more socially adept before AND after adolescence, just during adolescence I seemed autistic.

 

[TBRS1]

...Does anyone else live with this extreme sense of fear and anxiety fuelled by avoiding more fear? Is this normal for people on the spectrum? I have a cousin with classic, severe autism but i won't be able to ask these questions to him...

yup. In my experience this is pretty much standard.

This can be caused by other conditions, but in my ASD experience this is normal.

My personal experience involved first - meds, to get at least some handle on it, then - learning and practicing (until it became a habit) mental calming techniques such as slow breathing and meditation, then kicking the meds.

 

[Outdated]

Is my inate state of fear due to be being neurodiverse?

In a way I would say yes. This type of fear is a learned behaviour that many neurodiverse people pick up because of their life experiences of being constantly misunderstood and mistreated.

I don't have what I would call fear of going out but I avoid it a lot because quite often it's annoying to deal with people all the time. Once again, this is a learned behaviour. I get all my groceries delivered because I can't stand the constant babble of voices in shopping centres, they tire me out very quickly.

In a way I guess this can also be described as anxiety but I've learned to be very careful when using that word. A lot of people think anxiety means depression, which it does not. Being worried is not the same as being sad.

 

[jsilver256]

Unfortunately yes it is true at least in my case. I suppressed it with a lot of alcohol and being a workaholic. I recently quit drinking and the anxiety is returning. This time around, instead of flailing, I'm being intentional with a combination of stimming, constructive fixating, and video games / exercise.

 

[Aspychata]

Do you suffer from PTSD symptoms? Alot of my anxiety is caused by PTSD, situations l sadly walked thru in this lifetime.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Let me first state that I am not officially diagnosed and only merely brought up the subject of autism once to which I was told by a psychiatrist that I was too intelligent and articulate to be autistic. It seems unlikely that I'll be considered on the spectrum since where I stay only people with severe autism are considered autistic. Anyway regardless of this I was wondering what my biggest problem is...

And summed it up in one word... FEAR. I have lived with a mental state of excessive fear all of my life. My current isolated lifestyle is just a culmination of my adaptations and idiosyncrasies due to my fearful state. So my question is. Is my inate state of fear due to be being neurodiverse? I can't think of any other explanation since I never suffered from any trauma, abuse or neglect in my early years. Why was I just born a freaful wreck? Am I a case of some type of faulty neurology?

Doess anyone else live with this extreme sense of fear and anxiety fuelled by avoiding more fear? Is this normal for people on the spectrum? I have a cousin with classic, severe autism but i won't be able to ask these questions to him.

Any help or resources on this would be greatly appreciated.

The Size and Connectivity of the Amygdala Predicts Anxiety

A larger amygdala is linked to a higher anxiety risk in children and adults.

www.psychologytoday.com

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-021-01400-x

Amygdala Volume Changes in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder in a Large Case-Controlled Veterans Group

The amygdala is strongly implicated in the pathophysiology of PTSD. Morey et al used magnetic resonance imaging to assess amygdala volume in a cohort of military veterans with and without PTSD.

jamanetwork.com

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0925492721001682

In humans, the size of the amygdala will often predict the level of fear and anxiety. Some humans are simply born with large amygdala's, and others, due to traumatic events in their lives, will develop larger amygdala's. People who fear change, who are closed off to "different" people and ideas, those who are politically conservative, who exhibit high degrees of tribalism, have also been shown to have enlarged amygdala's.

Conversely, those with unusually small amygdala's are associated with psychosis, psychopathy, and violent offending. These people are not afraid of people or animals who could potentially harm them, not afraid of law enforcement, not afraid of dying, not afraid of consequences.

 

[blue_bird]

Do you suffer from PTSD symptoms? Alot of my anxiety is cause by PTSD, situations l sadly walked thru in this lifetime.

Yes, I have developed severe reactions to triggers which remind me of past trauma. A lot of my anxiety comes from fearing bad/dangerous/humiliating experiences happening again.

 

[blue_bird]

Such a crass generalization on behalf of your physician would be enough for me to seriously consider being examined by another psychiatrist who specializes in autism cases. I'd also discount any considerations of environmental explanations for autism. Though science has yet to pin down why it happens, many believe the answer lies in genetics.

As far as considerations of fear and/or anxiety go, it would seem that more people on the spectrum have to deal with such things than others. For myself such anxiety is further complicated by my OCD.

There's a Major Link Between Autism and Anxiety

While the two conditions are distinct, there's a lot of overlap.

www.healthline.com

Unfortunately healthcare is extremely expensive where I live. I clicked on another link (about the effects of stress on the body) from the link you gave me. It is clear that my nervous system has taken a big beating due to excessive stress from worrying. Our public healthcare refused to allow me to see a neurologist or any other type of specialist despite my symptoms. I can only see those privately which is not possible for me at the moment. The same goes for a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist that specializes in autism would definitely to rejected by our public health and way out of my budget if seen privately.

 

[Aspychata]

So maybe you suffer from chronic ptsd and general anxiety, that sounds like a lot to juggle daily. I actually read the definition of battered woman syndrome and that helped me to understanding and overcome some of my anxiety.

Battered woman syndrome - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[blue_bird]

Your case is the same as mine. I'm intelligent at things autistic people typically aren't meant to be intelligent in, but I'm not intelligent in the things autistic people are meant to be intelligent in.
I'm also crippled by fear and anxiety. I was an anxious, sensitive child from about the age of 4, even though I wasn't abused or treated badly in any way at home. It seems I was born with anxiety. My mother had anxiety issues too and was prone to depression, so I reckon it rubbed off on me too.

So that is why I often question my diagnosis (yes, I'm diagnosed with Asperger's). I do wish only people with severe autism were autistic, and there was just another name for people like me and you, although I have ADHD too, but my social isolation in my teenage years was too prominent for just ADHD and anxiety, even though I was more socially adept before AND after adolescence, just during adolescence I seemed autistic.

Yes, me too. I was very sensitive and extremely fearful as a young child. Teachers asked my family if I was "sick" in my earlier years since I was so quiet. Of course since I was one of the best students in class I stood out from the special needs kids who had their own class. It's like I was neither of this group or the other. I felt very alone and isolated which just made me more anxious.

 

[Misty Avich]

Yes, me too. I was very sensitive and extremely fearful as a young child. Teachers asked my family if I was "sick" in my earlier years since I was so quiet. Of course since I was one of the best students in class I stood out from the special needs kids who had their own class. It's like I was neither of this group or the other. I felt very alone and isolated which just made me more anxious.

I was scared of my first school. It was an old Victorian school with orange brick walls, and the hallways were dark and gloomy, and for some reason I always imagined something bad happening or have happened at some point in the old building. I didn't feel secure there, there was an unfriendly vibe about it that made me not want my mother to leave me there. I sometimes misbehaved, threw tantrums, and got tearful for no real reason, because something about the building just gave off an unsettling vibe. I grew out of that behaviour by age 6, but for the first couple of years I was just so anxious about the place. The anxiety vanished when I moved up to Junior's school at age 7 (which was a bright, friendly school and no bad vibes about it at all).
But at the first school I was terrified about being left on my own. Like one time I was the last leaving the classroom because I was going to the bathroom when it was time for outdoor play, and when I came out and saw that the classroom was empty I went into panic mode. I can still remember the blind panic I felt, and when a teacher came in I ran over to her sobbing uncontrollably and nobody could get me to stop. I remember my chest hurting from sheer panic and anxiety. Same when I was the last one left in the gym because I was asked to pack the balls away in the cupboard. I handled that okay but when I was finished and saw that everyone had left the gym I started breaking down again in a blind panic.

I know it was something to do with the school building, like a fear I had. Even now, nearly 30 years later, I still have nightmares about that school (which was knocked down years ago). I bet if I hadn't of responded with fear, I probably wouldn't have got assessed and diagnosed with AS, at least not so early in life anyway.