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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Overmedicated Single Aspie RSD NEET 48 From Brooklyn, NY
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  • Tony Ramirez
    I now stim in public places I don't care what people think anymore. I am cursed with autism so deal with it or get lost.
    Judge
    Judge
    On occasion I find myself doing the same. But now I just do it anyways whether people think it's weird or not. I still crack up knowing my nickname was based on an NT observing my early stims as a child who thought I looked like a "judge".
    Tony Ramirez
    I still plan on ending my life by the month's end. I just have to figure out a painless way to do it.
    View previous comments…
    Hazel_1914
    Hazel_1914
    I assure you there is not a simple painless way out. Death is intense. Having seen death of men and beast alike it is not something you can just do. Wait for your antipsychotic to kick in, and I suggest the works of Viktor Frankl if you can borrow a copy of Man's Search for Meaning--bought that one for 50c at a thrift and it changed my outlook.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    My parents are making my life hell.
    T
    thejuice
    Even state governments cant make the sheer brutality of death palatable and can only hide it away from view in the dead of night
    Tony Ramirez
    Just deactivated my Instagram. I did not delete it BTW. I just sick and tired of seeing people I follow and don't follow show pics of their friends traveling it sucks and I hated it.
    View previous comments…
    oregano
    oregano
    His wife didn't find out that her husband was in fact not a zillionaire New York real estate baron until she read his note.
    T
    thejuice
    Well done!
    Judge
    Judge
    Yep, all the main social media sites seem to be little more than platforms for peoples' bragging rights, whether they are true or not.
    Tony Ramirez
    No one here understands my singleness here and just wanting a simple female friend. They think it's all my fault, even calling me mean things like a predator.
    View previous comments…
    Judge
    Judge
    Yes. That's always a sad possibility, that people reject social awkwardness or needy people. Another reason why I wanted anti-anxiety drugs to counter such things and better interact with others.
    T
    thejuice
    Yes we're not the cute kind of socially awkward
    T
    thejuice
    Has it's perks though, when you want peace and quiet no one bothers you
    Tony Ramirez
    College graduates piss me off too.
    View previous comments…
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    do you have high anxiety around large crowds, have other health problems besides autism that have prevented you from becoming employed over the years?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Yes. I want a computer job where I mainly work by myself but they require college.
    tree
    tree
    Computer work is not exactly devoid of stress. It requires the ability to
    communicate & interact with other people, too.
    Tony Ramirez
    I slept great last night. No crazy dreams about a women approaching me that became platonic, traveling and sexual. Just a weird dream of me catching my late grandfather watching a soap opera of a women shooting a man arguing you know I seen those in the 80's
    Tony Ramirez
    I think the 40's might actually be the worst years of my life and the most emotional painful. Hell except for my later junior high years my entire life was the worst years of my life.
    Tony Ramirez
    It's looking closer and closer that suicide is my only solution to this curse I called autism. Nothing else is working.
    View previous comments…
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Well its the same for me. I think she and her family would be sad if you were to pass away. There is also this forum too. I think there are many people who care about you
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    previously you said you though you were calling off suicide, but now you are strongly considering it again? i'm sorry
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I don't know how to actually carry it out there is no information it's all blocked with that stupid 988 number and life will get better crap.
    Tony Ramirez
    I freaking hate hearing how you meet stories from damn couples.
    tree
    tree
    You don't enjoy people much, it seems.
    And can't imagine learning anything from what happy people say.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hope to get control with my travel, couples and platonic's envy's when I go back on my antipsychotic I took last year.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    do you think you might try to get a job again, become employed again someday? i think you said you have been unemployed since 2001, just mainly SSI.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Not feeling so controlled by strong emotions sounds like a great goal, @Tony Ramirez. I hope you start feeling better than you have been.
    Tony Ramirez
    Ignoring my ass is a thing people like to do to piss me off. I have to wake up alive for this crap.
    Kitsuna
    Kitsuna
    Tony, I’m saying this from a place of friendly concern: please listen to everyone telling you to seek counseling.
    M
    Misty Avich
    At least you get a lot of attention and replies in your threads. I envy you there, as I could do with a bit more attention and replies in my threads when I'm reaching out to people.
    Tony Ramirez
    Why the hell do they have all these stupid names for these college degree's like BA MA Master's crap. Who cares. They were all able to know reading comprehension while a dumbass like me can't even remember what he just read 5 seconds ago why I flunked out with a 0 GPA dropout unemployed loser.
    Tony Ramirez
    Let's hope I die in my sleep tonight, even though I know the damn creator will make me wake up to live another horrible day.
    jsilver256
    jsilver256
    John 3:17 (which comes after the famous John 3:16!): "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." God loves you!

    But to stop the misery trap, we have to put aside our own ideas of what fulfillment looks like.

    Please call one of the hotlines that @tree posted. I think you need outside help in getting out of this misery.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I don't trust them. I was betrayed by state therapists.
    tree
    tree
    Betrayed?
    Tony Ramirez
    I wish my so called college graduate smart ass so called friends would admit the reasons why they waste their time applying for work, education programs and I hear crap back months later is because I actually need a damn college degree to actually apply but they won't tell me that not to admit it to hurt my feelings.
    tree
    tree
    Are you trying to say since
    your qualifications don't meet the standards for the jobs,
    you don't get interviewed? And that somehow you aren't
    aware of the requirements?

    Or what?
    Tony Ramirez
    No one talk to out of it I am determined to commit suicide by the end of this month somehow. Then we will see how selfish everyone thinks I am when I am missed.
    Tony Ramirez
    I just keep insulting my friends via text and in person because of my bad life inadvertently it has become second nature when they say what you say was hurtful I don't even care because I just can't seem to do it say anything right anymore. No wonder no women wants me.
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Yes second now that I realize it but nothing to my 18 20s was my worst and my 30s was boring nothing wasted. My early junior high school years 11 to 14 was and always was my best years of my life.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I wish I never bothered to try to socialize with normals 5 years ago. I did not befriended not one aspie or really meet any in person only here online.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    do you think your autism is also the reason why you have been unemployed for most of your life? i ask because, there are tons of jobs in the world that don't require college education, or do you think you just got too used to relying on your folks too much, it just made you not bother want to seeking a job?
    Tony Ramirez
    My back pain is coming back from not doing yoga but the former use to be my second home studio ended up becoming an traumatic place like my last church which I had to leave but I have no place to go unlike the other place.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Youtube has thousands of yoga videos for free. Sean Vigue has a nice channel. He's got a good nature and some humour in what he does. Just find a room with some space for your yoga mat and have at it.
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