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AprilR

AprilR

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  • AprilR
    I believe in free will, in terms that everyone always has room to improve and the chance to do so even in the most limited circumstances. It might be too idealistic, but i want to believe this.
    AprilR
    Three people quit their job in one week. I wish i could find the right time to quit too
    View previous comments…
    wards
    wards
    I’ve been at my place of work for about 2.5 years and in that time we have had 49 leave or come and go in quick succession in our department alone. That’s how much my place sucks.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    My last job, l asked if there was heavy turnover.
    wards
    wards
    Me too, they always lie lol.
    AprilR
    So many books/web novels to read so little time! Added The Brothers Karamazov to my "to read" list
    Judge
    Judge
    Never read the book, but I do recall the movie. Actors going down different paths.

    Dmitiri Karamazov got terminal cancer. And Alexey Karamazov got Star Trek.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I will watch the movie after i read the book. I don't read classics much, much less russian literature but it sounds interesting.
    AprilR
    Spent some time with my dear father, being our silly selves. It helped get life's troubles out of my mind as it always did. I am so grateful that my father is who he is.
    AprilR
    I am very anxious and don't know what to do to change this. I have work to do but dont have any energy to do anything
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I feel so guilty for existing in people's lives and masking to seem normal. If they knew i was autistic they would not befriend me from the start and it would be easier
    AprilR
    I am so tired of life. I want to quit my job, quit trying to have friends and a social life. I feel too tired for all of this.
    tree
    tree
    You've been thinking about quitting the job for quite a while.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Yeah, i am just scared i wont be able to get another job and my mental health will get even worse.
    AprilR
    The secretary at work decided to quit all of a sudden too. She said she wasnt thinking of working for a while, and i know for a fact she does need money. She is so carefree
    View previous comments…
    Judge
    Judge
    Or perhaps she hated her job even more than you. I've quit jobs before without any work to go to. Risky business, but sometimes one has to "Get out of Dodge" to keep their own sanity.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Maybe, but she was a slacker so i dont have much sympathy for her
    Judge
    Judge
    I know what you mean. Saw a lot of them come and go in my dept. in one job. Most of them though simply got the boot before they could bail. Leaving the rest of us to make up the difference.
    AprilR
    Life goes on despite everything. Just because someone treats you like trash world does not stop turning. Everything becomes alright and normal day by day
    AprilR
    What do you do when your friend might have understood you are strange/abnormal and stopped regularly messaging you? Do i start being distant to not inconvenience her or should i continue like nothing happened?
    View previous comments…
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    They are so good making excuses and so good saying how sorry they are, that its very difficult for me to know the truth. So I just try to accept them as they are. The most difficult part for me is to accept that even being rejected and made fun I still want to be their friend. I must be some kind of dog.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    @Atrapa Almas don't think like that, everyone wants friends. But i think you should look at people's actions and not their words, and maybe hold back from accepting them even when you want to.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Just ask her, hey is everything okay? I haven't heard much from you. If the conversation is cold, then she has put u in the outer circle of friends
    AprilR
    Extraordinary Attorney Woo is proving to be really enjoyable. I kind of wish the main character was real and we were friends.
    AprilR
    It saddens me to see so many people here burdened by things they can't change and the self hatred that comes from that. While there are so many horrible people out there living their lives not facing any consequences or not feeling the least bit of responsibility. Life is not fair.
    View previous comments…
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    Dog V4 offers a hug.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Hugs back. I feel like i am already lucky enough to pass as "normal" but some people are not and they are being abused bc of that. Its horrible
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Yes, me too. It makes me sad to see people struggle with things. And not be able to do anything about it or help.
    AprilR
    I have three files i must work on due Monday and it is really stressing me out
    kriss72
    kriss72
    Sending virtual support your way...
    AprilR
    Taking everything personally, esp. People's negativity is not the way to go. I might not be enough for them but i am enough for myself
    AprilR
    Staying home today. I feel physically sick as well as depressed. Cried a lot yesterday from anxiety.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    My friend does not return my texts but i don't feel bothered by it. What bothers me is that i made her uncomfortable and in a difficult position. She does not want yo be my friend but feels forced to continue this friendship
    AprilR
    I am trying to keep a distance from my parents but it really gets on my nerve when she insists that i attend family get togethers.
    Play pretend is all she knows
    AprilR
    AprilR
    She cant accept my autism. Even watching a show about autism triggers her like its some big trauma.
    AprilR
    Experiencing other people's discomfort because of your autism is traumatizing.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I am grateful for my mother but i have also accepted her internalized ableism. I am gradually starting to become more independent and i am grateful for that too
    AprilR
    AprilR
    Therapy made me understand that my relationship with my mom affected my thinking that i was unlovable, still to this day i think everyone has internalized ableism inside and i will never be accepted as i am if i dont mask
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