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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Single. True friend's. 46 From Brooklyn, NY
Joined
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Viewing thread Fear of flying. It's not silly. Really.
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  • Tony Ramirez
    My depression is back about not being in a relationship.
    View previous comments…
    elgat0verde
    elgat0verde
    Not asking you to, just giving some advice

    Been down that road dude, I know how it is

    I had a lot of girlfriends and still was depressed, nobody else will save you but you

    Desperation leads to bad decisions
    elgat0verde
    elgat0verde
    Since I was not happy myself all my relationships failed which led to more depression....

    Believe me I've been there! I know how crushing loneliness can be, but once you find joy with your own company you will no longer hate being alone

    If you want love, love yourself first, inner love attracts outer love
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Never had one girlfriend not a single one. Hell I never even had a girl as a real friend so there. You don't know what I am going through.
    Tony Ramirez
    I did not go to yoga this morning. I was tired and due to a bad instinct yesterday after class I was not in the mood.
    Tony Ramirez
    I don't believe in anything anymore. I heard the f word from a woman in yoga class after class today it's the last straw.
    View previous comments…
    elgat0verde
    elgat0verde
    Well that's on her dude, don't let the outside noise disturb your inner you
    elgat0verde
    elgat0verde
    Please don't take this personally or as an attack, just sharing a bit of my limited wisdom

    There is a saying I like to say to myself when I find myself focusing a lot on others

    "Not my horse, not my problem"
    elgat0verde
    elgat0verde
    Meaning that you can only take care of your own horse with food and water, if you start feeding and watering other people's horses your horse will go hungry and thirsty
    Tony Ramirez
    This is why I can't make friends. It describes me exactly.
    www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk

    10 reasons people with autism struggle with friendships

    Ambitious about Autism is the national charity for children and young people with autism. We provide services, raise awareness and understanding, and campaign for change. Through TreeHouse School, The Rise School and Ambitious College we offer specialist education and support.
    www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk www.ambitiousaboutautism.org.uk
    Tony Ramirez
    Now that I really think of it. I really have no friends, just many acquaintances.
    AprilR
    AprilR
    I only have one also
    elgat0verde
    elgat0verde
    True friends are hard to come by man, I have no friends at all! But I have me!
    Tony Ramirez
    Lately only grandmother's have been approaching me for conversations.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Do you ever ask the grandmothers for advice in dating? Grandmothers can be very wise people.
    tree
    tree
    Tony Ramirez
    90% of the women I encounter my age or younger are married or have boyfriends.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    So. You can either sulk, or you can learn to be engaging and really attempt a connection with the 10% who are not in a relationship.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I have been doing that. At least having good conversations with them. But I am not you and can't ask them out on a date or anything like that.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Think about it Tony. Those women would probably enjoy getting out with you. One of the hardest things for me was to get over the fear of rejection task women out. How would you feel if one accepted and you had a nice time out with her?
    Tony Ramirez
    I have not written in my journal in over a week. But things are still going on in my life. Been going to yoga. Even went one night. I went to someone's house for dinner. I went to a pumpkin festival in my neighborhood after church yesterday. Just too lazy to write about it.
    Tony Ramirez
    Most of my conversations with woman fizzle out so fast. So annoying. Why do I even bother to even attempt to speak to them?
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Better.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    Like anything, keeping a conversation going is a skill you can learn. Do that and you will be on your way to learning to flirt with playful banter. It is OK to bring up earlier topics if the conversation flags, or try to riff off of what the other person is saying. Think about Jazz with its solos interspersed in the harmonies of the song.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    There is one Molly not the other Molly my age I can maintain an conversation with only if it's just me and her talking alone without inturuptions from other people.
    Tony Ramirez
    At the park event I was approached by two men and a couple and we had deep conversations because things like they are men or the woman is taken does not bother me anymore as much as it use too.
    S
    Slime_Punk
    That's so good to hear! I feel like this opens you up to meeting all sorts of new people, and you never know who they could also introduce you to!
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    This is a wonderful realization that you’ve had, Tony. I hope it brings more friendships and connections into your life.
    Tony Ramirez
    I like my new therapist.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    That is wonderful, Tony. I was thinking of you positively when responding to a thread centered around emotional reactivity. I think you are finding that you have agency and will succeed.
    Tony Ramirez
    Asking for any girls number your friends with is hard. I could have done this with two girls this past week but the words would not come out of my mouth.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    I have found that most girls I was friends with were more than glad to exchange contact information, which keeps friendship actually functional. So most will probably want to actually keep in touch. It's helpful when you want to talk about hobbies not many men in your area share (reading, sewing) or about practical stuff.
    tree
    tree
    Would offering your own number/contact information work?
    Instead of asking for the girl's info?
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    I'm with @tree on this one. While doing it, smile, say you enjoy your conversations and want to keep in touch.
    Tony Ramirez
    I learned my lesson again after being ignored all week. I have to approach woman for them to talk to me. I did that today after yoga class after asking a student how class was. She was new and kind. She liked the class and hopes to come again.
    Gerald Wilgus
    Gerald Wilgus
    You are learning and putting yourself out there. Keep up the good work!
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