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Markness

Markness

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Young God 35
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  • Markness
    I have permanent creative writer’s block now. :(
    View previous comments…
    tree
    tree
    "permanent creative writer's block" What a story.
    cornman
    cornman
    funny that's what writers block feels like. you could write a story about a person with writers block so severe that it becomes a kind of degenerative disease in which creative thinking ceases and reaches the point where this person can no longer make decisions. you could call it something brutal like "writers dementia"
    tree
    tree
    S. King would have fun doing that.
    Markness
    I refuse to not socialize just because some people think I shouldn’t. I can’t get better if I don’t.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    At least you are thinking about things. You are free to do as you chose. Don't let other people call the shots. When you die , you leave as one. Start standing up to people, tell them to mind their own biz and not your business.
    Markness
    Heard back from my new friend yesterday!
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Y'all try to keep up with one another; that sounds neat. What's your friend like?
    Markness
    Markness
    She’s very spunky and geeky.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    She sounds like a fun person. You two keep in touch. See if you can think of something fun & take her somewhere cool.
    Markness
    Will I ever be able to post about having a girlfriend?
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Certainly a possibility if you believe you will succeed. However, at present you seem to believe that you're destined to be alone, which isn't a good vibe to try and find someone to date. So you have to work inwards and then outwards. Rather than hoping like an external factor like a gf will help heal what's inside. It might heal some, but you'll still be the same person with the same fears, worries and anxieties.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Well said Raggamuffin
    cornman
    Whats up dude. Just wanted to say that you are a cool person and have a good day.
    Markness
    Markness
    Thank you. How are you? It’s night over here but I appreciate the concern. Who is that in your avatar? Do you like 90’s anime?
    cornman
    cornman
    Hey dawg, its Leila Marcus from vampire d bloodlust. I haven't read any of the manga that its based off of i just saw the movie and thought it was interesting. Anyways, yeah i like 90s anime, both in its own right and because that's what i have easy access (hint: arr matey!), anything from 60s to 2003.
    cornman
    cornman
    In terms of how im doing, im trying to work on my one of my personal projects. Its the only thing that keeps me sane now a days.
    Markness
    I am not allowed to make amends. Once I do something wrong in the eyes of others, the bridge is burned permanently.
    tree
    tree
    It's not a question of "being allowed." Whether they accept your apology or not is on them. You have no control over their response, and whatever it is, respect them and their wishes and carry on with your life.
    Markness
    I won’t stop expressing my feelings just because some people don’t like me doing so.
    tree
    tree
    It would be great if sometimes the feelings were positive.
    Markness
    I’d rather die than live a life without having a romantic partner if things don’t change for me soon.
    Markness
    I feel like those who dislike me will still tear me down even if I get better.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Probably! Some folks only gripe when they breathe.
    But I think if you do get better,--OK, when-- don't give them that satisfaction of knowing. Just do it for you.
    Kirsty
    Kirsty
    You kind of have to hide your happiness, but that can be hard and any ounce of happiness that shows can be knocked down in seconds. Just try to look as neutral as possible so you won’t get hurt.
    Markness
    I attempted to make a conversation with someone at a coffeehouse. They only gave me short replies and someone joined them. :(
    View previous comments…
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    I honestly don't know how you interpret "you shouldn't have a relationship until you can have a healthy one" to mean "you should NEVER have a relationship". Do you think you can't evolve?
    Markness
    Markness
    @Callistemon I am scared that I can’t because my efforts continue to fail. I want to evolve and it’s frustrating when it seems that I can not.
    Markness
    Markness
    @Owliet You probably won’t reply now but I am honestly tired of people assuming they think of how my thought processes work. I don’t view people as NPCs and I don’t think children are commodities. I find that unfair to be told that’s what I am thinking.
    Markness
    My back hurts but I am too broke to afford a massager.
    View previous comments…
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    Pilates Pilates Pilates. Back injury since 21 and only causes problems if I don't do Pilates. You can start small with the stretches and build up the core-strengthening exercises gradually. Much more effective and environmentally friendly than a bandaid gadget.
    Callistemon
    Callistemon
    That's terrible, @crewlucaa_ , and the "like" is just good vibes here. Are you finding active walking with your dogs is helpful too? I always have to walk after trimming donkey feet...
    L
    Luca
    Thank you :) I had the injection in December and it did help although I’m not sure it was worth two days of crying every time something touched my back…
    Walking is super helpful! And I’m finding myself able to go for longer and longer hikes now.
    Markness
    A friend told me she’s pregnant. I know I should be happy for her but instead it feels like another punch in the face. :(
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    @Aspychata Are you saying I can one day say “Yes” instead of “No” if I am asked if I have a lover and possibly children?
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Really hope so for you. I worry about us fixating on things. I think it's our nature to fixate on what we don't have.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I fixated that l would never be as successful as my brother. Now l don't as much. I hope that makes sense. By the way, my brother is very successful.
    Markness
    I wish I could go somewhere to socialize but others usually have company with them or they just don’t like me at all. :(
    View previous comments…
    L
    Luca
    And a constant complaint about me is that I “talk too much.”
    tree
    tree
    @Markness When you say *going talk talk talk talk*....do you mean that literally? Do you just say "talk talk talk"? Or do you mean you tend to fill silences by saying what you can think of? And somehow whatever is on your mind doesn't seem to suit whoever you may be talking to??
    Markness
    Markness
    I try to talk about things that are hopefully interesting, especially when the conversation drops and I try to salvage it. I don’t literally say “talk talk talk talk talk talk.”
    Markness
    If I don’t get into a relationship this year, I don’t want to live anymore. :(
    cornman
    cornman
    :(
    L
    Luca
    There are other things you could be basing your self worth on. This makes me sad :( :(
    Markness
    I honestly don’t know what “hitting rock bottom” is.
    tree
    tree
    Seems like you're there a lot of the time.
    Markness
    Markness
    Someone told me I needed to hit there but she didn’t explain what it would entail. It honestly sounds like ill will.
    tree
    tree
    Someone is always telling you something......and it frequently turns out you think they mean you harm.
    Markness
    My mother was the first one to tell me “I don’t want you to have a girlfriend.”
    View previous comments…
    Markness
    Markness
    crewlucaa_, here’s the hypocritical thing about my mother. She’s on her fourth marriage and can’t stand the thought of being unmarried.
    L
    Luca
    Oh, that is definitely a bit strange… sorry if I said anything insensitive :(
    tree
    tree
    How does focusing on the hypocrisy of another person further your happiness?
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