Looking at the abyss can feel so comforting sometimes.
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20 years ago I was living my dream life. Expenses were less back then, and I could live off SSDI and focus all of my time on my film criticism website. And I was weak enough to let my family bully me into shutting it down. I am a joke, and the punchline sucks.
Things hurt a lot more without intoxicants in my system. I am abstaining, but I feel like throwing in the towel.
I am little more than a bother. My neediness is inexcusable. My place is here, in my house, alone. I complained long enough. Complaining is all I can do right.
Nobody knows pain until they feel it sober.
Uber sucks. They locked my account and told me I violated their terms without telling me what I did, then they told me the $150 gift card balance was lost to me forever. This is petty theft. And this was when I tried to make my first transaction with them today.
Deep in depression and feeling like ordering some whisky considering that I just might have lost the entirety of an Uber gift card just now.
Just tried making my first Uber Eats order, and it gets flagged as fraud. And of course they have no phone number I can call to see why.
I feel like eating wings today. Wings are not the healthiest food in the world. Why am I not attracted to raw veggies as much as I am to chicken wings?
Going to see a local band on Friday night. It should be fun.
I feel like going to Popeye’s and buying a spicy chicken sandwich. Who cares to join me on this lovely venture?
Got sent home from jury duty today, I expect to be called back in tomorrow. This is a a lame week for me.
Tomorrow, I report for jury duty. Lovely.
I feel like curling up on my couch and binge watching horror movies all weekend long.
I only got one hour of sleep last night, and I refuse to caffeinate myself to get through the work shift. This is lame.
I am thinking of going out for more live music on the weekends. There are many inexpensive tickets out there in the smaller venues, and I could always take an Uber back home.
Apparently, my critic pen name, Master Christopher, is extremely offensive according to my mother and sister. What is so offensive about it, I do not know.
I feel like smoking some weed and ignoring the outside world for a while. Alas, weed is not in my fiscal budget today.
I feel like I am a priority to nobody in my life. Like people easily cancel plans with me whenever somebody more interesting comes around.
I am thinking of going to the local jazz bar tonight, getting dressed up in my nicest threads, paying a cover charge, ordering non-alcoholic drinks and an appetizer, and enjoying the band tonight.
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