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Metalhead

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  • I probably should go to the dispensary before it closes to get some indica so I can sleep before my work shift tomorrow. This rage I feel within me is absolute. I am no longer afraid of it. I own it. I have a right to it.
    I want to drink, I am denying myself, I must feel all of this, the only way out is through, and that sucks.
    Anybody who abuses a child sexually just because they thought it would be funny at the time deserves to die.
    L
    Luca
    As a child who was sexually abused, I agree.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    When my aunt abused me, she was full of laughter at my humiliation. Nothing seemed funnier to her at the time than breaking my spirit. And her enabler husband is just as evil. And my mother, sister and stepfather believe these people deserve grace. Forget that:
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    This does not deserve forgiveness. Grace would be denial.
    The kindest thing anybody could do for my aunt and uncle would be to blow their brains out and liberate their son and daughter. They are horribly unhappy according to everybody else in the family - this calls for euthanasia which I am usually not a huge fan of.
    So, I am supposed to forgive a child rapist just because I do not understand how unhappy she always was in life? My family wants me to accept that line. I say my aunt should die if she really is so unhappy that it justifies everything she did not just to me and my sister, but to her own kids as well.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    You don’t have to forgive people who abuse children. Some things are unforgivable.
    I have found myself facing my extreme anger without weed or booze. I am really feeling it now. It is tearing at me.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    This is a huge step in recovery. Stay strong in your devotion to sobriety. You’ve worked so hard to make it this far.
    I want liberation from a diseased bloodline. I am officially the lovable retard in my family. I reject that label. Doctors claim I have no intellectual or cognitive disabilities, my family rejects those claims. My family should be dead to me now.
    DaisyRose
    DaisyRose
    I’m sorry your family sees you that way. It’s not fair and it’s very offensive for them to make their own opinions before talking to you about it. Sending in good vibes. A lot of people here don’t see you like that. Know that people here care about you.
    My family can piss off and die. I have a better family here than in my bloodline.
    Kisa the tea
    Kisa the tea
    Blood family isnt always your real family. Real family is there for you and not evil. Im glad you trust us here.
    Damnit, I am having a self pity party and that solves nothing. I need to smack myself out of this.
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Reframe it as you're identifying sources of problems. Sounds like you have a pretty good idea where a lot of them started with (adverse childhood experiences, which shaped a few of the ways you interact w. adult life.)
    If you ever want to talk, feel free to send a message.
    MildredHubble
    MildredHubble
    Sometimes, the only way is through. Analysis of things that are significant to you is often necessary to move on. Don't feel guilty or bad for doing that.
    As soon as I get my sleeping and stomach problems taken care of, I will double down on finding a better job. I do not want to land a better job now and lose it because of my health issues.
    I talked with my doctor over the phone and explained my symptoms. She said I should come in later this week to do some tests and see if I have an ulcer.
    tree
    tree
    When I was 14 I had exam for ulcers. "Barium milkshake".....not exactly gourmet.
    Feeling sick this morning, but I have a boss who is accusing me of playing hooky on her. I need to get my health under control before I land a better job.
    I wonder how I will sleep tonight. I slept for 16 hours straight after I got home from the concert last night.
    I feel like starting a stoner emo doom metal band and calling it Self Pity Party. I will come up with lyrics that make Linkin Park seem optimistic in comparison. I would also be more brutal than Dethklok.
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