I think I probably assumed that I was more well-liked on here than I actually am. I think I’ve probably upset a lot of people and not sure if it’s right for me to stick around, or if I should find a different outlet.
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I got attacked by barn swallows yesterday lol
My friend’s Belgian Malinois puppy doing some work around the farm
I want to apologize for posting anything that has offended anybody. I never thought I was an opinionated person because I always felt like I couldn't speak up, but I've really found my voice and I'm less afraid to use it now. But I will be more mindful of what I say and try to have more of a filter. I don't want anyone to think I'm a jerk, or unkind
There are so many topics I feel the need to make threads about but I have a hard time opening up about what's really going on with me personally. It's the fear of making myself vulnerable but also the fear of coming across as unlikeable, mentally ill, or too opinionated. I've shared some things on here recently that were kind of hot takes and I regret posting them.
Sometimes I feel like having friends is really not worth it. Most of my friends don't even pay attention to me and treat me like I'm totally uninteresting, or they make a lot of backhanded insults. I know it's probably (definitely) my fault for hanging out with some of these people but I really don't like being lonely, and I'm really extroverted so I need to socialize. But is it worth it? Probably not.
I've been crying on the couch all night. I'm so angry. I'm angry and scared.
Someone was so mean to me about my dogs, in public. Like I actually cussed her out, I was so livid. And I’m not an assertive person.
My friends are spamming me with pictures from a nightclub, and I'm sitting here watching tv by myself. I have to be up in 7 hours for a competition. I don't mean to sound negative or like I'm throwing a pity party but I'm annoyed.
I like your new avatar.
Does anyone else wear swim trunks/bathing suit bottoms as shorts? That’s probably the most bumpkin thing ever lol but I was wondering if I’m the only one…
On a more positive note though, my best friend’s birthday is in a few weeks and he invited me (and my dogs, and his wife and dogs) to go on a hiking trip. It will not be an “adults only” trip (because dogs) but it will be great.
Some of my friends are going on vacation together tomorrow (for the week) and I can’t because of my dogs. I love my dogs and no one could pay me any amount of money in the world to give them up, but I sometimes feel like I can’t do things just for me anymore. My friend told me that’s how parents of human children feel too.
Found more cute Pointer art for my new profile picture.
The sun is rising and I’m still doing laundry. Sigh…
I don’t know why the night terrors have gotten so much worse lately. If it’s still residual triggers from the horror movie I don’t know what to do with myself anymore :/
Dreading going to sleep tonight. Last night I had night terrors that were so intense and graphic that I ripped all the sheets off the bed and woke up sweating profusely and hyperventilating.
I worked on a painting for several hours today that I got paid to paint, and my friend told me it's the worst painting he's ever seen.
I’m tired.
One of my speakers, which was out of battery to my knowledge, just randomly turned on by itself, at 3am. Holy moley that is creepy.
Still getting use to layout. But l kinda miss the simplicity of our four year-old software. -
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