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Recent content by FlowerChild

  1. FlowerChild

    Do you have delayed emotional responses that 'appear' suddenly once 'switched on'?

    I've been wondering if this is an Autistic thing (I'm also alexithymic so it could be that too). I find that often times, my emotions seem to be 'switched off' or put into 'maintenance mode'. For months, I will feel content, normal, average, and even when very emotionally charged things are...
  2. FlowerChild

    What if Autism never existed?

    I like to ask myself instead what the world would look like if Autism was the dominant social identity. I recently attended an event that was designed by Autistic people to be as accessible as possible. There was a quiet Autism room with low lighting and stim toys. There were measures...
  3. FlowerChild

    My parents think im faking my symptoms.

    I was not diagnosed until I was 24. At twenty-eight I finger flap every single day. I finger-flapped as a child. I was bullied for doing so by my peers. My family didn't 'bully' me for it, but they did point it out to me as if it was something note-worthy. I was very embarrassed at all the...
  4. FlowerChild

    Realising I'm probably Autistic

    Hi, welcome to the community! A lot of us on here (myself included) have experienced late in life revelations of Autism (i.e. as adults and not children), so hopefully you will find others with some common ground on here! The good news is that I think this is a relatively good time for...
  5. FlowerChild

    Dating as Aspie.

    PS - my above message comes with the qualifier that you evaluate your own communication tactics. I know that, especially early-on in dating, if a guy is sort of 'smothering' me with constant contact, I will push back HARD in an effort to enforce my independence (even if I'm still interested, or...
  6. FlowerChild

    Dating as Aspie.

    Just be literal with her. It's fine to ask a straight-up question if you want answers. Tell her you really enjoy hearing from her, but you've noticed she's making less contact lately. You can try to make it 'polite' by expressing concern and asking if everything's okay with her. If she says...
  7. FlowerChild

    I'll never know what really happened

    not really - I'm basing my post off of your post (tone, information, timeline, etc.). This has nothing to do with my relationship with my mother. I just don't see any responses in this thread where you've acknowledged that, perhaps, you did something to hurt any of your kids. It's always how...
  8. FlowerChild

    I'll never know what really happened

    Okay, well I'll be honest - if this is how you're going to approach the situation, that's your prerogative. But --re: your title 'I'll never know what really happened'-- you're really wanting genuine insight into what DID happen, then you need to accept the fact that you may have played a hand...
  9. FlowerChild

    I'll never know what really happened

    I think the hardest thing about my diagnosis was learning how little I valued other peoples' views, thoughts, opinions, and interests. I put people in VERY similar situations to what I've described above, where they probably felt like I was impossible to please and I never gave them any...
  10. FlowerChild

    Are people on the spectrum capable of lying or manipulating?

    PS - I am saying the above as somebody who just ended a longterm Autistic/Autistic relationship with a large age gap. We really loved each other, wanted to be together, etc. He wanted children desperately, and I changed my own plans from holding off on children for another 5-10 years, because he...
  11. FlowerChild

    Are people on the spectrum capable of lying or manipulating?

    While I do think diagnostic labels like 'Autism' can be helpful in people understanding and categorising behaviours, sometimes they can be problematic, in that they can lead to a dehumanizing effect which erases personal autonomy and agency in favour of 'black and white' diagnostic reasoning...
  12. FlowerChild

    What's your autism "elevator pitch"?

    definitely! Before I was involved in academia I spent my early-twenties on the music scene, which I found profoundly liberating in its lack of 'status quo' social expectations.
  13. FlowerChild

    What's your autism "elevator pitch"?

    I tend to ramble about the problematic medicalisation of Autism as a social category, and the suppression of Autistic traits in favour of assimilation with NT behaviour. I then propose that it is a positive difference in neurological functioning, which is not inherently disabling; but, rather...
  14. FlowerChild

    I think college is a giant waste of time and money, especially for us

    I think it's dangerous to generalise what is best for Autistic people, since we are such a diverse bunch. I've got dyscalculia (basically dyslexia but with numbers), so science, math, and engineering were out of the question for me. However, I found that studying arts (social sciences and...
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