I am happy to say this trip was good for me for two reasons.
1. I get to see a new place in the USA.
2. I get to indirectly address my psychological hangups through observation and new perspective.
As far as the first one. I really have never been outside my own state too much. Missouri and California are the only two other states I've been to, aside from Maryland now. So the new experiences were something special really. Saw Washington D.C, went to my half-brothers naval academy graduation, tried various restuarants in the area, and even visited my aunt and uncle, along with their children. Plus I got to try a beer I only, in recent times, have heard about because of Missouri now carrying it. Yuengling. It blows even my personal faves out of the water.
As for the second, I don't to reiterate any of what I've said before. But I did find that I am no longer the person I once was. No longer a product of my family's dysfunctional world. Namely because of the fact that I've picked up alot of what my family is about. They all are sociable, yet self-centered in thier own desires. They are all neurotic in distinct ways. My step-mother being the biggest offender in surcoming to her neurosis. Which I think I mimicked in myself in the past. They are also lazy and unorganized with plans. They seriously fly by the seat of thier pants on most everything. I could never do that. The BIG one is cleanliness. They leave stuff all over the place and they leave dirty dishes in the sink. They DO NOT hand wash at all. It's all about the dishwasher. That really gets under my skin.
But in all this, while uncomfortable. I did not have any freakouts. I handled it well and found that my traumas were 100% based on flawed perceptions of personal attack. So basically I was faced with a nothing burger, dealing with then in Annapolis. Yes some of my past memories were not false and did happen. But I over blew it to huge degree.
However these revelations have put closure on a large number of internal issues. I am feeling more confident in myself and more sociable. I am not as held back from being me.
1. I get to see a new place in the USA.
2. I get to indirectly address my psychological hangups through observation and new perspective.
As far as the first one. I really have never been outside my own state too much. Missouri and California are the only two other states I've been to, aside from Maryland now. So the new experiences were something special really. Saw Washington D.C, went to my half-brothers naval academy graduation, tried various restuarants in the area, and even visited my aunt and uncle, along with their children. Plus I got to try a beer I only, in recent times, have heard about because of Missouri now carrying it. Yuengling. It blows even my personal faves out of the water.
As for the second, I don't to reiterate any of what I've said before. But I did find that I am no longer the person I once was. No longer a product of my family's dysfunctional world. Namely because of the fact that I've picked up alot of what my family is about. They all are sociable, yet self-centered in thier own desires. They are all neurotic in distinct ways. My step-mother being the biggest offender in surcoming to her neurosis. Which I think I mimicked in myself in the past. They are also lazy and unorganized with plans. They seriously fly by the seat of thier pants on most everything. I could never do that. The BIG one is cleanliness. They leave stuff all over the place and they leave dirty dishes in the sink. They DO NOT hand wash at all. It's all about the dishwasher. That really gets under my skin.
But in all this, while uncomfortable. I did not have any freakouts. I handled it well and found that my traumas were 100% based on flawed perceptions of personal attack. So basically I was faced with a nothing burger, dealing with then in Annapolis. Yes some of my past memories were not false and did happen. But I over blew it to huge degree.
However these revelations have put closure on a large number of internal issues. I am feeling more confident in myself and more sociable. I am not as held back from being me.
