50 minutes. plus or minus a few minutes here or there to account for others being late. Discharge is right around the corner. rightfully, i am anxious. that anxiety mostly based off off a not so great weekend spent at the house. There were problems, but problems can be fixed.
this is a leap of a step forward. i can only see so far onto the platform i must land on through this fog, i can only guess what it is going to look like. it won't be stable at first, the platform will lean and wobble as i shift my weight from the place i stand now, onto where i want to go, but there is nothing saying i can build supports to help it out.
it won't be easy. bad days will be had. I hope there are enough productive and good days to counterbalance the things i can't avoid.
Thinking more in depth about this now, i see how big of a step this is. i have had nothing along the lines of what i am going to do in my life. this isn't just some temporary break for me to go crazy, then end up back in hospital. This is going to be real life.
with life, comes work.
thankfully, the government pays me to be alive.
i have my game plan placed inside my head. i think it would be best if i write it out. My goal, is to keep productive day by day. productive, going from chores, exercise, practice, to anything i want to do that requires an effort. i have so much i need to do, i need a schedule to efficiently get all the stuff done.
schedule my time. sort out what needs to be done, what can wait until the next day, and what i need to do at the moment. with so many options, indecisiveness is something i no longer want to spend my time on.
i need to learn. i am new to this whole ‘life’ thing. anything from people to math, to poetry, i need to excell at the things i do. one of the things being, learning, i need to find out the best way i can learn in any given situation, and to reap the full beinfates of my time.
establish basic routines. hygene to dog walks, some things are needed to be done daily.
suck it up. lewrn how to deal with my emotions, and not let them take ontrol of the points or words i say.
learn to coexist with family. this is a big one, people are tricky to learn about, and no were as interesting as science.
learn my limitations. At what rate can i be expected to get better at what the question calls for? just how hard can i work, until i collapse?
teach. it isn't all just me, my family needs to start to learn how to interact with me in ways that doesn't want me to rip my hair out.
interact. i need friends, apparently making friends requires human interaction.
ski my ever loving heart out.
exercise. a good body image is both physically and mentally healthy.
adapt. things won't always go my way, let them not go my way, and try not to rip my hair out.
and finally… actually do all of this stuff, instead of talking about it.
25 minutes remaining.
