Asperger's & Autism Forum

(Apologies in advance if this thread has already been done to death...)

Whether you chose to mask or not at all, or you only do so in specific situations like work etc: is there any particular one you really have to combat, or can't seem to get the hang of?

For example, mine would be the supposedly very simple, 'How are you/how have you been?' and variants thereof. Now in my mind I know that it's a pure social courtesy to begin a conversation and the person is not asking for my actual life story - just a brief response and then I ask them likewise, and so on.
But what really happens, is I almost panic trying to formulate the right words. My heart begins to race. Double that if I am in a group of people, because my social anxiety convinces me I'm being 'watched' for my correct, socially appropriate response. And this happens, without fail, everytime. (I remember when I was a not-so-younger adult, reeling off a lengthy response to a family friend at a gathering. Then, later I was...

I'm not good with love. If anything I'm afaird of it. The pain of loss. Or being used and lied to. Manipulated and abused. So what is love? I have my own ideas. But, need some clarity in the subject. Thoughts are welcome.

I hate tomato ketchup and sweet peppers.

The smell and colour of tomato ketchup is just so replusive to me and hate the taste of sweet peppers.

This is my biggest fear. My uncle just recently passed away and he had a lot of people at his funeral with many Grandchildren.

Me on the other hand suffering from ASD still unemployed, living at home, never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl at 43 years old. Yes I do have some friends from Church but they are living there own lives many are couples having kids or have them already.

They will drift apart now even more with the pandemic I am seeing them very little in person. If we ever start to meet in person they will be engaged already it happened to a couple from life group.

Too make a point I predict I will die in my 50s alone because my grandmother would have passed away a long time ago Then my other uncle and my mother and father eventually too.

My plan is to hope for normal life after the pandemic and too keep losing friends, then making new ones at Church just to lose them repeatedly as the couple up and have kids I will eventually die and be alone if I have any...

As a follow up.

According to the medicial profession, I am in line for a stroke, due to high blood pressure. I purchased a monitor and it has made me ten times worse, because the reading says I need to be rushed to the hospital!

I asked why have I got high blood pressure, since my heart is working very well? Happily. No answer given; just chemical meds to take, which, I am not taking right now; I just don't trust them.

Apparently, insuline residance can cause a high blood pressure, so I am getting tested for diabetes 2, although, I sense it will be normal, despite, if I do not eat, I will get weak.

I did find an interesting article to say that ones who suffer from GERD, have high blood pressure. I now eat between 5 and 6 and have found I do not suffer in the night. No gaviscon, which I love.

The positive, of course, is knowing my faithful heart is being faithful.

Oh and just to add. Why are people so.... harsh, when you chose to not take chemical meds? I mean, my husband has...

For example, how can I feel alright with myself if my iPhone is not always handy?

How can I feel content without hoarding tons of media (which is not leading me to feel content anyway)?

I feel my life slipping away as I stare at screens blankly.

Today I had a 2-hour phone interview with my assessor to gather a clinical history and I feel like I forgot a lot of important things. Tomorrow I have a 4-hour in-person assessment, with the assessor talking to my mother for a more detailed early-childhood history. I hope the assessor calls her for information, since I have only a little bit from one baby book.

My brain is fried. I'm worried that I'll be seen as just weird or broken, despite learning today that my father is an aspie but never thought to mention it ("because you just dealt with it -- no one back then ever considered accommodating a 35-year-old man, they just helped you in special ed when you were a child"), and my uncle on my mother's side is also an aspie. So at least it is established that it runs in the family.

Did any of you, especially older women, fear being misdiagnosed by your ASD assessor? I'm genuinely worried that I'll have missed one or two really important details and that will mess up the whole...

I had two of them.

I remember my first dream where I had a magic notepad that anything I wrote down came true. I wanted a 65" Samsung TV. I wrote it down and it magically appeared. I then wrote more things down and got all of them. I then took a chance and wrote down to get rid of my Asperger's then all of a sudden a light hit me. The first thing was my enhanced hearing was gone. Then my mind cleared up and I though much more clearly. I don't remember much of the dream but then I woke up back with what I have.

The second dream happened last night I went to some event where they said you can walk into this machine and it would remove Autism. First some kid who had serious autism walked into the machine after he was healed, talked and hugged his dad. I then went into the machine and my Asperger's was gone. Again thinking clearly and enhanced hearing was gone. I then found another machine that removed my extra weight and improved my appearance a bit. I then was able to...

I can't, so people with major problems or problems that add to each other over time, I think I can understand their negative feelings

In truth, I hated him. He was not safe. the more he unrravelled, the more secrets he exposed, and the more terrifying he became. But either way, it's not fair is all I can think. He never had a chance in this world. He was legally deaf, had hirschsprung's disease, extremely severly bipolar to the point where me and my mom wondered whether his multiple concussions from football caused any problems. He jumped off a four story building. the building was a psych ward.