Asperger's & Autism Forum

Hi. I have been reading about the struggles that autistic people have to get a job and I feel identified. I am scared of feeling constantly tired and anxious (because I already am). I don't want to be a teacher and only thinking about it makes me feel miserable. I don't have a job yet but I am trying very hard to define what to do to earn money. Do you have any ideas, experiences, comments, regarding to job experiences etc.?

I have had social media for years and years and it has never worked for me.

I post continually and get little back. I post a wide variety from jokes to Pictures. I do have a few people whom like my status etc.

But for the most part I am ignored.

I have noticed this with other Autistics too and I don’t see what they’re doing wrong, either at all. It would seem that there is an invisible barrier with us, wherein nothing we do will ever be socially acceptable.

Yesterday, I posted photos of my London trip: London

I only got one like.. yes one like. This happens to me every time I post photos.

My cousin posts photos and gets 50-60 likes or more. His photos are good, but not out of this World.

Starting to get a little jealous of him.

I do not know what I am doing wrong. This is driving me up the wall and making me depressed.

I know that it is wrong for me to participate in this but I am determined to show people that I am not going to be driven off a site.

I try socially and...

I've been reading the forums for a while now and found there are many intelligent and helpful people here. I am looking for feedback and hope you all can help me. I'll be as brief as possible given the complicated relationship.

This past January, I reconnected with my first teenage boyfriend. We are now in our late 60s and both widowed. Due to the clinical diagnosis of my sons as PDD-NOS and my late husband as Aspie, I've been reading, researching and living HFA for the past 20 years.

In the beginning, I thought of my first boyfriend and suspected he was on the spectrum as well. Since I've reconnected with him, I'm positive. I've never mentioned it to him.

Over the past 6/7 months, I became attached to his brilliance and sensitivity. He had a very bad 35 year marriage and was determined not to ever have a committed relationship again. As teens, (I was 15, he was 19) he fell hard—totally in love with me. He wrote me some very wonderful, loving letters which I still have. At the...

I am a NT woman, in love with an Aspie man for about a year and I have finally decided I need to confess my feelings as I either need to take this somewhere further or just move on if he is not interested. I'm pretty sure now he likes me but not sure if he is interested in a relationship either with me or anyone(he hasn't been in one for several years).

I would like to ask him to meet up so that I can tell him in person and I will need to do the invitation over text as I there will not be an opportunity to talk in person for quite some time. The thing is, I believe that communication over text is especially hard for him, sometimes he won't even answer if there is no question in the text (but from the NTs point of view, a reply is still expected) or even if there is a question but the kind of a small talk question.
And I'm really trying to understand him and make things easier for him and basically learn the "Aspie dialect" so could you please advise me how to do this invitation...

I have a family that doesn't understand autism. They have an idealized, distorted view of reality.

What am I supposed to do when my brother gets married? or when my father gets into town? What do I say to them?

I don't want to be a part of any family function from now on. How do I say I don't want to be at family functions in a nice way?

While my ASD diagnosis journey is just beginning, I do have a question that’s been bothering me quite a bit. I plan to ask my psychologist at my next appointment, but until then... I thought I’d also ask here.

First, a bit of backstory. I’m 33/F and have just received an informal diagnosis by a clinical psychologist who specialises in adult autism (formal diagnosis is expensive here so I’m still weighing up my options for that). As far as she’s concerned, it’s quite apparent that I’d be diagnosed ASD level 1 if I went through with a formal diagnosis, to the point where she’s comfortable writing a letter to my GP with this information for future health purposes, should I decide I don’t need a formal diagnosis.

When I finally plucked up the courage to tell my parents recently, my Dad wasn’t overly surprised and actually related to what I was saying (he has many ASD/Asperger’s traits but no diagnosis, and my Mum has even said as much in a semi-joking manner). However, my Mum didn’t...

I'll start, with own tendencies. I'm very reclusive, and no matter how much time I spend alone, I neither get lonely nor crave human interaction. I have no friends, and that doesn't bother me. When associating with people, I treat them kindly, and will help them, if they want help. Doing nice things, for others, feels good, I'll admit. However, I never need them around, to be happy.

Some people have worried about my reclusiveness, and think that it's unhealthy. It's not unhealthy; it's simply a lifestyle that few can happily live. Therefore, to many, it's a "disease." Some say, "Everyone needs friends," but I'm joyous, without any. I enjoy reading others' perspectives online, but my wellbeing doesn't require tangible human interactions.

I write this, in total honesty. I'm happy, as a recluse. Do you hear that, stigmatizers? I'm not a disease; there's more than one way, to be happy.

Anyway, what about you? Do you spend a lot of time alone? Do you enjoy solitude? Do you like...

The biggest threads on [thatOtherAutismForum] right now are about love as a "deal". I don't see this as any kind of transaction. If the ideas on this forum aren't elevating your mind, disregard them. I'm posting this thread because I feel good about loving someone, not because inadequacies prevent me from loving her more. I'm only physically attracted to someone capable of understanding my mind. Without that understanding I'm lost. If I'm lost for now, so be it, that's not permanent either.

Chill out & appreciate each other.

Hello again everyone.

I'm not usually depressed or down but lately i've been sleeping much of the time and i don't see a solution to my problem.

The problem is where i live. It's nice enough and quiet enough but i have a deep desire to move away to somewhere else. Preferably by the sea. I think i've been in this area now for nearly 20 years of my adult life and become bored. I yearn for the sea.

I've been to every place possible within a 50 mile radius of where i live and as is a trait of mine. I have become bored. Really bored. I don't think it would be so bad if in the gorgeous summers evenings i could head off to the beach or even in the harsh depths of winter see the sea crashing around but in both scenarios currently i don't want to go out. That would involve driving a few miles to get to the countryside which is all the same topography and no sea.

In the last few years i have been struggling with an auto-immune disorder as well as having HFA and i've not been able to...

I came across the following helpful definitions:

Aggressive people
● are determined to get what they want whatever the cost to others
● use threats, sarcasm
● want to win/ dominate
● do not respect the rights and feelings of others

Assertive people
● are determined to get what they want while recognising the rights and feelings of others
● are direct and clear in what they ask and do so confidently
● are clear about their rights, status and abilities

Submissive people
● would like to get what they want but are frightened or anxious about the likely reaction of others
● are uncertain about their abilities and rights
● hide their feelings; don’t want to offend
● hope other people will see their plight and help them
● expect to lose in most situations

To use Tony Attwood's schema, I'd theorise that externalising Aspergers tend to use aggression while internalising Aspergers tend to use submissiveness. Which one to you tend to use? And do you think this depends on ASC or on one's...