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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Frankly, she is forgetting what happened the day or even just a few minutes beforehand, and I find it difficult to feel sorry for her since she insisted on living as a shut in when she was perfectly healthy two decades ago and she kept it up to this point.
She is fading rapidly exactly because of her extremely poor life choices, and I do not feel sorry for her one bit. And the rest of the family is telling me that I have an obligation to do my part to take care of her since I am the one who lives closest to her.
She dug her own grave, frankly. Turns out that three decades of no social life and nonstop television watching will screw a person up big time. I fail to see why I should have empathy for her at this point.
Why do so many relatives have to engage in political BS non-debate superiority contests on Christmas family gatherings? Why can't people just stuff their faces full of ham and mashed potatoes and be content with that instead of trying to antagonize each other?
Is this why God invented the Nintendo Switch? Did God invent handheld consoles just to give me an easy way out whenever this happens? I am going to pretend I am narcissistic and I am going to claim that, yes, that is the reason for that invention.
But, seriously, these people get into these moral superiority matches, and it has me wondering why these people who pride themselves as being respectable adults are acting totally middle school here. And it happens every year.
So back story: met her in workout class. We chatted. l thought she was daring and authentic. She is on the spectrum.
l have known her for 1.5 years probably. Helped her move. Called 911 in another state for her.
Today she discussed details of things l didn't wish to hear. A poor life choice that no matter what, she can't walk away from. l am tired of trying to convince her it's time to get serious about your life. Apply yourself, do something, anything. It's not getting through. I am throwing in the towel. Out of privacy concerns l choose not to divulge her poor choice.
Has anybody else walked away from a connection because you felt it was pointless? I still feel bad, because of many different reasons but l can't support her duplicity.
Am l obligated to tell her why we are no longer friends? l feel her choices are extremely unsafe and unhealthy. She already knows this about me. Would you contact her or just not talk to her anymore?
I have noticed that most people with ASD are really bad at following instructions. They rather want to do something in there own way. Sure they want help but the teacher or guide have to meet them were they are. Some do not bother to take private lessons in eg music just because they want to do thing their own way. Some do take private lessons and suceed but most people (like me) need to do things their own way and having the teacher accept that. Sure they will need a guide/teacher but only one who let them be who they really are (which sometimes never happpens). What do you think this is all about?
I suffer from strong shyness as well as anxiety and both things have plagued me for many years (I am 31 years old). This is largely why I don’t have a girlfriend and haven’t even had a coffee date for 13 years now. Women almost never make the first move in the culture I live in while men are pressured to take the initiative and I found that out way too late so that doesn’t help things at all. I find the idea of rejection daunting and have experienced it before the few times I’ve come out of my “shell”. I was told “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.” or “I am too busy.” and my mind keeps feeling like those responses are all I am ever going to get.
I have moved from Santa Cruz, CA to Portland, OR, effective today. I just can't take having to walk around for 9-10 hours every day in SC,lacking sleep, lacking rest and time to think to myself, and straining my CHF-afflicted aging body - and it's now cold and rainy season in SC! Nite: Yes, I reacted to excessive rain in SC.........by moving to Portland! In our next installment I move to Alabama in search of greater seperation of church and state. I'm trying to get attention from Social Services, basically. I thought if returning to the county in New York State by Conneticut that is my actual home-town area on the theory that SS would look kindly upon the " return of a local " , but, for one, getting there is expensive.
I apologize for either repeating things I said before, if I have, or not sufficiently explaining what I said, if that's the case.
I will go to the ER tonight on.
This is my 100th post!
I know for me I love hospital food. the reason why is because it's consistent and I really love consistency. I don't understand the why as to why hospital food (at least in California, United States) gets such a bad wrap. I often joke about the (fictional) "hospital food of the month" club where I could subscribe on a monthly, or yearly basis to get frozen hospital food breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks delivered to my door for one set price then all I need to do is microwave when ready to eat and it's just like hospital food without all the hassle of going to the hospital with a valid illness.
Do you like hospital food? Why or why not? Does lack of food consistency bother you?
Received a card from a relative yesterday. In it they included pics of themselves. And a wish for a happy holiday. As well as a cursory allusion to the past. Their comments were: "As to the past..." Just some periods, no reference to anything.
Back story: Recently this relative had a birthday, and invited us to drive for six hours to attend it. We declined. Before that a few more 'hooverings'; photographs sent, cards sent, pics of family members sent. They seem relentless.
We used to visit them, on our way to somewhere else. Stopping by to say hello, giving them notice by mail well ahead of time. I am their niece. And they in retrospect treated myself and my husband like pestilent strangers. My family were accommodating to them whenever they visited, and treated them well. They had little reason for this behavior.
In fact it was their neighbors (virtual strangers) who helped us out during a week of extreme weather, when we were camping in a national park and lost our tent...
For me rules and boundaries have meaning. Rules provide structure, stability and consistency. The people I'm least likely to get along with are liberal or artistic people who see the world as fluid and feel that fewer rules are better. For me, this is disturbing because I'm unable to follow the concept of everyone doing things differently. I simply cannot connect with these people.
Long read, but worth it.
Just because you value neurological differences doesn’t mean you’re denying the reality of disabilities.
To my dismay, Simon Baron-Cohen’s recent article “The Concept of Neurodiversity is Dividing the Autism Community” perpetuates a common misunderstanding of the neurodiversity movement: that it views autism as a difference but not a disability. Baron-Cohen presents the issue as one of opposing sides: the medical model, which sees autism as a set of symptoms and deficits to be cured or treated, and the neurodiversity model, which he believes ignores any disabling aspects of autism. Unfortunately, this confuses the neurodiversity movement with the social model of disability, and it is an incomplete understanding of the social model at that.
Before I go into details, let me summarize what the neurodiversity movement does believe:
Autism and other neurological variations (learning disabilities, ADHD, etc.) may be disabilities, but they are not flaws. People...
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