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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Do you have this never ending dialog (or monologue maybe) in your head? It's almost like you silently discuss things with yourself all the time. Usually emotionally neutral well balanced and well nuanced discussion on many different subjects. Sometimes when a subject comes up in a conversation you go "Oh yes, I have thought about it at length" and then depart on a huge tangent likely almost irrelevant to the interaction you are a part of.
Is it a way to calculate our way through life given a confusing and probably insufficient nature of the information the world streams at us?
Yeah, that is my question. ASD a disorder?
NT could also a disorder, right?
We are all disordered. I would say so.
As an aspies I am very grown up if I can sit alone at home and compose 4-part harmony accompaniments for hymn melodies. How many NT can actually sit at a piano for some time like I do.
It is just an example. Many aspies seem to have problems with this as well but I guess are another type if aspie. Maybe they have ADD/ADHD which I do not.
So, if I get to look at a thing methodically I might be able to understand it. Most NTs and some aspies just wanna do things at once. Most Nts eant the whole picture at once. I like sitting at my piano trying different chords and voice leading.
I learn things by just trying things out but only methodically. My organ and singing teacher seem kinda aspie in his way of behaving and explaining music. I guess that is why he is so good at playing the pipe organ.
I am not a flexible person but if I get to learn things my way I might suceed....
Following my very long first thread here about being single/virgin at almost age 30 (my 30th birthday is this Thursday), I was wondering about choosing to resign myself to be single for life. It is another path, but I was thinking about how I have a lot of quirks and difficulties that would make probably well over 95% of eligible women not want to have anything to do with me. In addition to Asperger's, I have generalised anxiety, social anxiety, OCD and can fall into depression when the situation changes.
As much as I want a girlfriend, I notice that I feel much less stress when I am alone and talk to no one. I do feel painfully and depressively lonely many times, but there is a certain calmness that I get when I am alone and do not have to worry about anyone else or about offending a girlfriend/wife. When I am alone, I can just be me, whether anyone approves of it or not.
Has anyone with ASD (or even without) considered resigning themselves to being single instead of trying hard...
I was wondering if anyone autistic on this forum has created a product?
I am trying , but my executive dysfunction makes it difficult to map out all the things I have to do to get it to the product line.
Any stories or suggestions would be useful. I’ve already looked in to designing, it’s a fashion item.
With the hobbies I do for fun, everyone's better at me. When I draw, they look like something a 2-year-old drew.
When I play the piano, I always mess up. And anyone can love animals better than I do. It's like everyone's better than me at everything I do. I have no special talent like everyone else has. They're all taken, and there's nothing left for me. Does anyone else ever feel this way, or is it just me who lacks talent?
I currently work in public accounting doing taxes (meaning I do other taxes for other people and for businesses). About a year ago, I took a job at a small firm (like 10 employees) due to seeking more flexibility in my schedule. Previously I had worked at some larger regional CPA firms (7 years worth), but got burnt out from the long hours and felt stressed at times. I did really enjoy some of the work as it fit my skill set well in that it was highly technical and required hyper focus, attention to detail, and critical thinking. My current job does require some of these same skills, but not to the same degree due to the fact that we have much smaller clients. Therefore, they have less technical tax issues to work through (the part that I am good at).
My new job certainly enables me greater flexibility and less hours (significantly less). But what I failed to foresee was not feeling challenged and feeling bored at times. In many ways, I went from one extreme to another....
was it Niche who said that, or Kelly Clarkson? Despite who said it first, I think the saying may go back much further than the person who put their name to it. Most likely, the saying has been around for a long while, and for good reason.
It makes me think. Despite the popularity of the saying, by quite a few, it is easily dismissed, and rightfully so. A car crash may not kill, but paralyze. One may live through a traumatic experience to live and tell the tail, but carry scars from the event for the rest of their life, and I do think it is accurate in many cases that what didn't kill you also doesn't make you stronger.
My mindset going through life was around the idea that the saying was bull. What didn't kill me left me drained damaged and vulnerable for whatever 'character building' event would happen next. It felt like being beaten down every time I got back up from my last stagger downwards. It felt demoralizing to stand only to fall again after again, In what it seems to be...
I want to pose this question separately from the general eye contact post in the other thread. I'm very curious what you guys think.
Because I absolutely loathe confrontation, I am generally almost hyperaware of the people around me. I get overwhelmed by the emotions of others very easily, especially if they are directed at me. Eye contact is a big part in this, though bodylanguage is as well. I have noticed that when I meet other aspies, the eye contact feels less intense. Their whole persona is a lot more quiet than what I get from neurotypicals. I am much less anxious around them. Interestingly, this amost works as a sort of aspie-sense.
I know that much like sensitivities in general, aspies can be very empathic. Has anyone experienced something like this?
I initially got my learner's permit when I was 16 (in December 2005, three months before I turned 17), but after some lessons with my parents I realized I wasn't ready to drive then and I put it off for about three years. My permit expired and I had to take the test again. I got a new permit when I was 20 (in August 2009), and got my license when I was 22.
I have five other close friends who, like myself, have Aspergers Syndrome. The oldest one of us, who just turned 33, got his license when he was 17. Another one of us, who was born in 1988, got his license shortly before his 20th birthday. Another one also got her license when she 19. The other girl in the group was probably 24 when she got her license. The last of us to get a driver's license is three months older than me and got his less than a month ago at the age of 30.
My mom always tells me that statistically, only 50% of people with Aspergers Syndrome drive. I'm proud to be in that 50%!
EDIT: I guess what I am trying to say is that I want woman who' got herself together and knows what she wants in life. I could care less if they have Aspergers.
I've only had two girlfriends in my life and both were Aspie. The first one I met in college in 2013, and we bonded over a love of cars. She was 19 and I was 24. However, she was a bit more lower-functioning than me. She was nice enough, but also came across as an arrogant know-it-all. A few of my friends did not like her very much. She remained in my circle of friends until her family moved to Florida.
The second one unfortunately still lives with her parents within walking distance of my house. We were introduced by my friend and neighbor. She was 22 and I was 29 when we met. She initially seemed to be a perfect fit, but the fact she did not have any of "The Big Three" should have been a red flag; For me "The Big Three" is:
Either has a degree or in college
I have all three of those things,...
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